XI

百度搜索 No Country for Old Men 天涯 或 No Country for Old Men 天涯在线书库 即可找到本书最新章节.

    I got Molly to run down his relatives and we finally found his dad in San Saba. I left to  go up there on a Friday evenin and I remember thinkin to myself when I left that this  robably another dumb thing I was fixin to do but I went anyways. Id doalked  to him on the phone. He didnt sound like he was waitin to see me or he wasnt waitin but  he said to e on so here I went. Checked in a motel when I got there and drove out to  his house in the mornin.

    His wife had died some years back. We set out on the pord drunk ic<s></s>ed tea and I  guess wed of set there from now on if I hadnt of said somethin. He was a bit oldern me.

    Ten years maybe. I told him what Id e to tell him. About his boy. Told him the facts.

    He just set there and nodded. He was settin in a swing and he just rocked bad forth  a little ahat glass of tea in his lap. I didnt know what else to say so I just shut  up a there for quite some time. And then he said, and he didnt look at me, he  just looked out across the yard, and he said: He was the best rifleshot I ever saw. Bar  none. I didnt know what to say. I said: Yessir.

    He was a sniper inam you know.

    I said I didnt know that.

    He was not in n deals.

    No sir. He was not.

    He nodded. He wasnt raised that way, he said.

    Yessir.

    Was you in the war?

    Yes I was. Europeare.

    He nodded. Llewelyn when he e home he went to visit several families of buddies of  his that had not made it back. He give it up. He didnt know what to say to em. He said  he could see em settin there lookin at him and wishin he was dead. You could see it in  their faces. In the place of their own loved one, you uand.

    Yessir. I  uand that.

    I  too. But aside from that theyd all dohings over there that theyd just as soo over there. We didnt have nothin like that in the war. Or very little of it. He smacked  the tar out of one or two of them hippies. Spittin on him. Callin him a babykiller. A lot  of them boys that e back, theyre still havin problems. I thought it was because they  didnt have the try behind<bdo>?</bdo> em. But I think it might be worse than that even. The  try they did have was in pieces. It still is. It wasnt the hippies fault. It wasnt the  fault of them boys that got sent over there her. Eighteen, een year old.

    He turned and looked at me. And then I thought he looked a lot older. His eyes looked  old. He said: People will tell you it was Vietnam brought this try to its knees. But I  never believed that. It was already in bad shape. Vietnam was just the i on the cake.

    We didnt have nothin to give to em to take over there. If wed sent em without rifles I  dont know as theyd of been all that much worse off. You t go to war like that. You  t go to war without God. I dont know what is goin to happehe  one  es. I surely dont.

    And that retty much all that was said. I thanked him for his time. The  day was  goin to be my last day in the offid I had a good deal to think about. I drove back to  I-10 along the back roads. Drove down to Cherokee and took 501. I tried to put things  in perspective but sometimes youre just too close to it. Its a lifes work to see yourself  for what you really are and even then you might be wrong. And that is somethin I dont  want to be wrong about. Ive thought about why it was I wao be a lawman. There  was always some part of me that wao be in charge. Pretty musisted on it.

    Wanted people to listen to what I had to say. But there art of me too that just  wao pull everbody ba the boat. If Ive tried to cultivate anything its been that.

    I think we are all of us ill prepared for what is to e and I dont care what shape it  takes. And whatever es my guess is that it will have small power to sustain us. These  old people I talk to, if you could of told em that there would be people oreets of  our Texas towns with green hair and bones in their noses speakin a language they  couldnt even uand, well, they just flat out wouldnt of believed you. But what if  youd of told em it was their own grandchildren? Well, all of that is signs and wonders  but it dont tell you how it got that way. And it dont tell you nothin about how its fixin to  get, her. Part of it was I always thought I could at least someut things right  and I guess I just dohat way no more. I dont know what I do feel like. I feel like  them old people I was talkin about. Which aint goin to get better her. Im bein asked  to stand for somethin that I dont have the same belief in it I once did. Asked to believe in  somethin I might not hold with the way I once did. Thats the problem. I failed at it even  when I did. Now Ive seen it held to the light. Seen any number of believers fall away.

    Ive been forced to look at it again and Ive been forced to look at myself. For better or  for worse I do not know. I dont know that I would even advise you to throw in with me,  and I never had them sorts of doubts before. If Im wiser in the ways of the world it  e at a price. Pretty good price too. When I told her I was quitti first didnt  take me to mean it literally but I told her I did so mean it. I told her I hoped the people  of this ty would have better sehan to even vote for me. I told her I didnt feel  right takin their money. She said well you dohat and I told her I meant it ever  word. Were six thousand dollars i over this job too and I dont know what Im  goin to do about that either. Well we just set there for a time. I didnt think it would upset  her like it done. Finally I just said: Loretta, I t do it no more. And she smiled and  she said: You aim to quit while youre ahead? And I said no mam I just aim to quit. I  aint ahead by a damn sight. I never will be. Oher thing and then Ill shut up. I  would just as soon that it hadnt of got told but they put it in the papers. I went up to  Ozona and talked to the district attorney up there and th<var>?</var>ey said I could talk to that  Mexis lawyer if I wanted and maybe testify at the trial but that was all they would do.

    Meanin that they wouldnt do nothin. So I wound up doin that and of course it didnt  e to nothin and the old boy got the death penalty. So I went up to Huntsville to see  him and here is what happened. I walked in there a down and he of course knew  who I was as he had see the trial and all and he said: What did y me?

    And I said I didnt bring him nothin and he said well he thought I must  him  somethin. Some dy or somethin. Said he figured I was sweet on him. I looked at the  guard and the guard looked away. I looked at this man. Mexi, maybe thirty-five,  forty year old. Spoke good english. I said to him that I didnt e up there to be  insulted but I just wanted him to know that I dohe best I could for him and that I was  sorry because I didnt think he do and he just rared bad laughed and he said:  Where do they find somebody like you? Have they got you in diapers yet? I shot that son  of a bitch right between the eyes and drug him back to his car by the hair of the head  ahe car on fire and burned him to grease.

    Well. These people  read you pretty good. If I had of smacked him in the mouth that  guard would not of said word one. And he khat. He khat.

    I seen that ty prosecutor in out of there and I knowed him just a little to talk to  aopped and visited some. I didnt tell him what had happened but he knew about  me tryin to help that man and he might could of put two and two together. I dont know.

    He didnt ask me nothin about him. Didnt ask me what I was doin up there or nothin.

    Theres two kinds of people that dont ask a lot of questions. One is too dumb to and the  other doo. Ill leave it to you to guess whie I figure him to be. He was just  standin there in the hall with his briefcase. Like he had all the time in the world. He told  me that whe out of law school he had been a defeorney for a while. He  said it made his life too plicated. He didnt want to spend the rest of his life beio on a daily basis just as a matter of course. I told him that a lawyer oime told me  that in law school they try and teach you not to worry abht and wrong but just  follow the law and I said I wasnt so sure about that. He thought about that and he  nodded and he said that he pretty much had to agree with that lawyer. He said that if  you dont follow the law right and wrong wont save you. Which I guess I  see the  sense of But it dont ge the way I think. Finally I asked him if he knew who  Mammon was. And he said: Mammon?

    Yes. Mammon.

    You mean like in God and Mammon?

    Yessir.

    Well, he said, I t say as I do. I know its in the bible. Is it the devil?

    I dont know. Im goin to look it up. I got a feelin I ought to know who it is.

    He kindly smiled and he said: You sound like he might be getting ready to take up the  spare bedroom.

    Well, I said, that would be one . In any case I feel I o familiarize myself  with his habits.

    He nodded. Kind of smiled. Then he did ask me a question. He said: This mystery man  you think killed that trooper and burned him up in his car. What do you know about him?

    I dont know nothin. I wish I did. Or I think I wish it.

    Yeah.

    Hes pretty much a ghost.

    Is he pretty much or is he one?

    No, hes out there. I wish he wasnt. But he is.

    He nodded. I guess if he was a ghost you wouldnt have to worry about him.

    I said that was right, but Ive thought about it sind I think the ao his  question is that wh?en you enter certain things in the world, the evidence for certain  things, you realize that you have e upon somethin that you may very well not be  equal to and I think that this is one of them things. When youve said that its real and  not just in your head Im not all that sure what it is you have said.

    Loretta did say ohing. She said somethin to the effect that it wasnt my fault and I  said it was. And I had thought about that too. I told her that if you got a bad enough dog  in your yard people will stay out of it. And they didnt.

    WHE HOME she wasnt there but her car was. He walked out to the barn and  her horse was gone. He started to go back to the house but theopped ahought about her maybe being hurt and he went to the ta and got his saddle  down and carried it out into the bay and whistled at his horse and watched his head  e up over the stall door down at the end of the barn with his ears sciss.

    He rode out with the reins in one hand, patting the horse. He talked to the horse as he  went. Feels good to be out, dont it. You know where they went? Thats all right. Dont  you worry about it. Well find em.

    Forty minutes later he saw her and stopped and sat the horse and watched. She was  riding along a red dirt ridge to the south sitting with her hands crossed on the pommel,  looking toward the last of the sun, the horse slogging slowly through the loose sandy  dirt, the red stain of it following them iill air. Thats my heart yonder, he told the  horse. It always was.

    They rode together out to Warners Well and dismounted and sat uhe cottonwoods  while the horses grazed. Doves ing in to the tanks. Late in the year. We wont be  seein them much longer.

    She smiled. Late in the year, she said.

    You hate it.

    Leavin here?

    Leavin here.

    Im all right.

    Because of me though, aint it?

    She smiled. Well, she said, past a certain age I dont guess there is any such thing as  good ge.

    I guess were in trouble then.

    Well be all right. I think Im goin to like havin you home for dinner.

    I like bein home any time.

    I remember when Daddy retired Mama told him: I said for better or for worse but I  didnt say nothin about lunch.

    Bell smiled. Ill bet she wishes he could e home now.

    Ill bet she does too. Ill bet I do, for that matter.

    I shouldnt ought to of said that.

    You didnt say nothin wrong.

    Youd say that anyways.

    Thats my job.

    Bell smiled. You wouldnt tell me if I was in the wrong?

    Nope.

    What if I wanted you to?

    Tough.

    He watched the little brindled desert doves e stooping in uhe dull rose light. Is  that true? he said.

    Pretty muot altogether.

    Is that a good idea?

    Well, she said. Whatever it was I expect youd get it figured out with no help from me.

    And if it was somethin we just disagreed about I re Id get over it.

    Where I might not.

    She smiled and put her hand on his. Put it up, she said. Its nice just to be here.

    Yes mam. It is indeed.

百度搜索 No Country for Old Men 天涯 或 No Country for Old Men 天涯在线书库 即可找到本书最新章节.