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    ILL WAKE LORETTA UP just bein awake myself. Be layin there and shell say my  name. Like askin me if Im there. Sometimes Ill go i a her a ginger  ale and well set there in the dark. I wish I had her ease about things. The world Ive  seen has not made me a spiritual person. Not like her. She worries about me, too. I see  it. I re I thought that because I was older and the man that she would learn from  me and in many respects she has. But I know where the debt lies.

    I think I know where were headed. Were bein bought with our own money. And it aint  just the drugs. There is fortunes bein accumulated out there that they dont nobody even  know about. What do we think is goin to e of that money? Mohat  buy  whole tries. It done has.  it buy this one? I dont think so. But it will put you in  bed with people you ought not to be there with. Its not even a law enfort problem.

    I doubt that it ever was. Theres always been narcotics. But people dont just up and  decide to dope theirselves for no reason. By the millions. I dont have no answer about  that. In particular I dont have no ao take heart from. I told a reporter here a  while back — young girl, seemed niough. She was just tryin to be a reporter. She  said: Sheriff how e you to let crime get so out of hand in your ty? Sounded like  a fair question I reaybe it was a fair question. Anyway I told her, I said: It starts<bdo></bdo>  when you begin to overlook bad manners. Any time you quit hearin Sir and Mam the  end is pretty mu sight. I told her, I said: It reaches into ever strata. Youve heard  about that aint you? Ever strata? You finally get into the sort of breakdown in  mertile ethics that leaves people settin around out in the desert dead in their  vehicles and by then its just too late.

    She give me kindly a funny look. So the last thing I told her, and maybe I shouldnt of  said it, I told her that you t have a dope business without dopers. A lot of em are  well dressed and holdin down goodpayin jobs too. I said: You might even know some  yourself  The other thing is the old people, and I keep in back to them. They look at me its  always a question. Years back I dont remember that. I dont remember it when I was  sheriff ba the fifties. You see em and they dont even look fused. They just look  crazy. That bothers me. Its like they woke up and they dont know how they got where  theyre at. Well, in a manner of speakin they dont.

    At supper this eveniold me shed been readin St John. The Revelations. Any time I  get to talkin about how things are shell find somethin in the bible so I asked her if  Revelations had anything to say about the shape thing<var>..</var>s was takin and she said shed let  me know. I asked her if there was anything in there about green hair and nosebones and  she said not in so many words there wasnt. I dont know if thats a good sign or not.

    Then she e around behind my chair and put her arms around my ned bit me on  the ear. Shes a very young woman in a lot of ways. If I didnt ha<q>?</q>ve her I dont know what  I would have. Well, yes I do. You wouldnt need a box to put it iher.

    It was a cold blustery day when he walked out of the courthouse for the last time. Some  men could put their arms around a g woman but it never felt natural to him. He  walked doweps and out the back door and got in his trud sat there. He  couldnt he feeling. It was sadness but it was something else besides. And the  something else besides was what had him sitting there instead of starting the truck. Hed  felt like this before but not in a long time and when he said that, then he knew what it  was. It was defeat. It was beien. More bitter to him thah. You o get  over that, he said. Thearted the truck.

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