CHAPTER 5
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Tom es HomeTOM was to arrive early iernoon, and there was another flutteri besides Maggies when it was late enough for the sound of the gig wheels to be expected; for if Mrs Tulliver had a strong feeling, it was fondness for her boy. At last the sound came - that quick light bowling of the gig wheels - and in spite of the wind which was blowing the clouds about, and was not likely to respect Mrs Tullivers curls and cap-strings, she came outside the door, and even held her hand on Maggies offending head, fetting all the griefs of the m. `There he is, my sweet lad! But, Lord ha mercy, hes got never a collar on; its been lost on the road, Ill be bound, and spoilt the set.
Mrs Tulliver stood with her arms open; Maggie jumped first on one leg and then oher; while Tom desded from the gig and said, with mase retice as to the tender emotions, `Hallo! Yap, what, are you there?
heless, he submitted to be kissed willingly enough, though Maggie hung on his ne rather a strangling fashion, while his blue-grey eyes waowards the croft and the lambs and the river where he promised himself that he would begin to fish the first thing to-morrow m. He was one of those lads that grow everywhere in England, and, at twelve or thirteen years of age, look as much alike as goslings: - a lad with light b<samp>９９lｉb?</samp>rown hair, cheeks of cream and roses, full lips, ierminate nose and eye-brows - a physiognomy in which it seems impossible to dis anything but the generic character of boyhood; as different as possible from pgies phiz, whiature seemed to have moulded and coloured with the most decided iion. But that same Nature has the deep ing which hides itself uhe appearance of openness, so that simple people think they see through her quite well, and all the while she is secretly preparing a refutation of their fident prophecies. Uhese average boyish physioghat she seems to turn off by the gross, she ceals some of her mid inflexible purposes, some of her most unmodifiable characters, and the dark-eyed, demonstrative, rebellious girl may after all turn out to be a passive being pared with this pink and white bit of masity with ierminate features.
`Maggie, said Tom, fidentially, taking her into a er, as soon as his mother was go to examine his box, and the arlour had taken off the chill he had felt from the long drive, `you dont know what Ive got in my pockets - nodding his head up and down as a means of rousing her sense of mystery.
`No, said Maggie. `How stodgy they look, Tom! Is it marls (marbles) - or uts? Maggies heart sank a little, because Tom always said it was `no good playing withher at those games - she played so badly.
`Marls! no - Ive swopped all my marls with little fellows. And uts are no fun, you silly, only whes are green. But see here! He drew something half out of his right-hand pocket.
`What is it? said Maggie, in a whisper. `I see nothing but a bit of yellow.
`Why its... a... new... guess, Maggie!
`O, I t guess, Tom, said Maggie, impatiently.
`Dont be a spitfire, else I wont tell you, said Tom, thrusting his hand bato his pocket, and lookiermined.
`No, Tom, said Maggie, implly, laying hold of the arm that was held stiffly in the pocket. `Im not cross, Tom - it was only because I t bear guessing. Please, be good to me.
Toms arm slowly relaxed, and he said, `Well, then; its a new fish-liwo new uns - one for you, Maggie, all to <abbr>.９9ｌib.</abbr>yourself. I wouldnt go halves ioffee and gingerbread o purpose to save the money; and Gibson and Spouncer fought with me because I wouldnt. And heres hooks; see here!... I say, wont we go and fish to-morrow down by the Round Pool? And you shall catch your own fish, Maggie, and put the worms on and everything - wont it be fun?
Maggies answer was to throw her arms round Toms ned hug and him and hold her cheek against his without speaking, while he slowly unwound some of the line, saying, after a pause,
`Wasnt I a good brother, now, to buy you a line all to yourself? You know, I have bought it, if hadnt liked.
`Yes, very, very good... I do love you, Tom.
Tom had put the line ba his pocket, and was looking at the hooks one by one, before he spoke again.
`And the fellows fought me, because I wouldnt give in about the toffee.
`O dear, I wish they wouldnt fight at your school, Tom. Didnt it hurt you?
`Hurt me? no, said Tom, putting up the hooks again, taking out a large pocket-knife, and slowly opening the largest blade, which he looked at meditatively as he rubbed his finger along it. Then he added,
`I gave Spouncer a black eye, I know - thats what he got by wanting to leather me: I wasnt going to go halves because anybody leathered me.
`O how brave you are, Tom - I think youre like Samson. If there came a lion r at me, I think youd fight him - wouldnt you, Tom?
`How a lion e r at you, you silly thing? Theres no lions only in the shows.
`No: but if we were in the lion tries, I mean, in Africa, where its very hot - the lio people there. I show it you in the book where I read it.
`Well, I should get a gun and shoot him.
`But if you hadnt got a gun - we might have go, you know, not thinking - just as we go fishing - and then a great lion might run towards us r, and we could away from him. What should you do, Tom?
Tom paused, and at last turned away ptuously, saying, `But the lion isnt ing. Whats the use of talking?
`But I like to fancy how it would be, said Maggie, following him. `Just think what you would do, Tom.
`O dont bother, Maggie! youre such a silly. I shall go and see my rabbits.
Maggies heart began to flutter with fear. She dared not tell the sad truth at once, but she walked after Tom in trembling silence as he went out, thinking how she could tell him the news so as to soften at once his sorrow and his anger. Fgie dreaded Toms anger of all things: it was quite a different anger from her own.
`Tom, she said, timidly, when they were out of doors, `how much money did you give for your rabbits?
`Two half-s and a sixpence, said Tom, promptly.
`I think Ive got a great deal more than that in my steel purse upstairs. Ill ask mother to give it you.
`What for? said Tom. `I dont want your money, you silly thing. Ive got a great deal more mohan you, because Im a boy. I always have half-sns and sns for my Christmas boxes, because I shall be a man, and you only have five-shilling pieces, because youre only a girl.
`Well, but, Tom - if mother would let me give you two half-s and a sixpe of my purse to put into your pocket and spend, you know - and buy some more rabbits with it?
`More rabbits? I dont want any more.
`O, but Tom, theyre all dead.
Tom stopped immediately in his walk and turned round towards Maggie. `You fot to feed em then, and Harry fot, he said, his colour heightening for a moment, but soon subsiding. `Ill pitto Harry - Ill have him turned away. And I dont love you, Maggie. You shant go fishing with me to-morrow. I told you to go ahe rabbits every day. He walked on again.
`Yes, but I fot - and I couldnt help it, iom. Im so very sorry, said Maggie, while the tears rushed fast.
`Youre a naughty girl, said Tom, severely, `and Im sorry I bought you the fish-line. I dont love you.
`O Tom, its very cruel, sobbed Maggie, `Id five you, if you fot anything - I wouldnt mind what you did - Id five you and love you.
`Yes, youre a silly. But I never do <big></big>fet things, I dont.
`O, please five me, Tom; my heart will break, said Maggie, shaking with sobs, ging to Toms arm, and laying her wet cheek on his shoulder.
Tom shook her off, and stopped again, saying in a per-emptory tone, `Now, Maggie, you just listen. Arent I a good brother to you?
`Ye-ye-es, sobbed Maggie, her rising and falling vulsedly.
`Didnt I think about your fish-line all this quarter, ao buy it, and saved my money o purpose, and wouldnt go halves ioffee, and Spouncer fought me because I wouldnt?
`Ye-ye-es... and I... lo-lo-love you so, Tom.
`But youre a naughty girl. Last holidays you licked the paint off my lozenge-box, and the holidays before that, you let the boat drag my fish-line down when Id set you to watch it, and you pushed your head through my kite all for nothing.
`But I didnt mean, said Maggie. `I couldnt help it.
`Yes, you could, said Tom, `if youd minded what you were doing. And youre a naughty girl, and you shant go fishing with me to-morrow.
With this terrible clusion, Tom ran away from Maggie towar<bdo>?99ｌｉｂ.</bdo>ds the mill, meaning to greet Luke there, and plain to him of Harry.
Maggie stood motionless, except from her sobs, for a minute or two; theurned round and ran into the house and up to her attic, where she sat on the floor and laid her head against the worm-eaten shelf, with a crushing sense of misery. Tom was e home and she had thought hoy she should be - and now he was cruel to her. What use was anything if Tom didnt love her? O, he was very cruel! Hadnt she wao give him the money and said how very sorry she was? She knew she was naughty to her mother, but she had never been naughty to Tom - had never meant to be naughty to him.
`O he is cruel! Maggie sobbed aloud, finding a wretched pleasure in the hollow resohat came through the loy space of the attic. She hought of beating rinding her Fetish; she was too miserable to be angry.
These bitter sorrows of childhood! - when sorrow is all new and strange, when hope has not yet got wings to fly beyond the days and weeks, and the space from summer to summer seems measureless.
Maggie soon thought she had been hours iid it must be tea-time, and they were all having their tea, and not thinking of her. Well, then, she would stay up there and starve herself - hide herself behind the tub and stay there all night, and then they would all be frightened and Tom would be sorry. Thus Maggie thought in the pride of her heart, as she crept behind the tub; but presently she began tain at the idea that they didnt mind her being there. If she went down again to Tom now - would he five her? - perhaps her father would be there and he would take her part. But then, she waom tive her because he loved her, not because his father told him. No, she would never go down if Tom didnt e to fetch her. This resolution lasted i iy for five dark minutes behind the tub; but then the need of being loved, the stro need in pgies nature, began to wrestle with her pride and soon threw it. She crept from behiub into the twilight of the long attic, but just then she heard a quick footstep oairs.
Tom had been too muterested in his talk with Luke, in going the round of the premises, walking in and out where he pleased, and whittling sticks without any particular reason except that he didnt whittle sticks at school, to think of Maggie and the effect his anger had produced on her. He meant to punish her, and that business having been performed, he occupied himself with other matters like a practical person. But when he had been called in to tea, his father said, `Why, wheres the little wench? and Mrs Tulliver, almost at the same moment, said, `Wheres your little sister? both of them having supposed that Maggie and Tom had been together all the afternoon.
`I dont know, said Tom. He didnt want to `tell of Maggie, though he was angry with her, for Tom Tulliver was a lad of honour.
`What, hasnt she been playing with you all this while? said the father. `Shed been thinking o nothing but your ing home.
`I havent seehis two hours, says Tom, eng on the plum-cake.
`Goodness heart! Shes got drownded, exclaimed Mrs Tulliver, rising from her seat and running to the window. `How could you let her do so? she added, as became a fearful woman, acg she didnt know whom of she didnt know what.
`Nay, nay, shes none drownded, said Mr Tulliver. `Youve been naughty to her, I doubt, Tom?
`Im sure I havent, father, said Tom, indignantly. `I think shes in the house.
`Perhaps up in that attic, said Mrs Tulliver, `a-singing and talking to herself, and fetting all about meal-times.
`You go ach her down, Tom, said Mr Tulliver, rather sharply, his perspicacity or his fatherly fondness fgie making him suspect that the lad had been hard upon `the little un, else she would never have left his side. `And be good to her, do you hear? Else Ill let you know better.
Tom never disob<strike></strike>eyed his father, for Mr Tulliver eremptory man, and, as he said, would never let anybody get hold of his whip-hand; but he went out rather sullenly, carrying his piece of plum-cake, and not intending to reprieve Maggies punishment, which was no more than she deserved. Tom was only thirteen, and had no decided views in grammar and arithmetic, regarding them for the most part as opeions, but he articularly clear and positive on one point, hat he would punish everybody who deserved it: why, he wouldnt have minded being punished himself if he deserved it, but then, he never did deserve it.
It was Toms step, then, that Maggie heard oairs, when her need of love had triumphed over her pride, and she was going down with her swollen eyes and dishevelled hair to beg for pity. At least, her father would stroke her head and say, `Never mind, my wench. It is a wonderful subduer, this need of love, this hunger of the heart: as per-emptory as that other hunger by whiature forces us to submit to the Yoke, and ge the face of the world.
But she koms step and her heart began to beat violently with the sudden shock of hope. He only stood still at the top of the stairs and said, `Maggie, youre to e down. But she rushed to him and g round his neck, sobbing, `O Tom, please five me - I t bear it - I will always be good - always remember things - do love me - please, dear Tom.
We learn to restrain ourselves as we get older. We keep apart when we have quarrelled, express ourselves in well-bred phrases, and in this reserve a dignified alienation, showing much firmness on one side, and swallowing much grief oher. We no longer approximate in our behaviour to the mere impulsiveness of the lower animals, but duct ourselves in every respect like members of a highly civilised society. Maggie and Tom were still very much like young animals, and so she could rub her cheek against his, and kiss his ear in a random, sobbing way, and there were tender fibres in the lad that had beeo ao Maggies fondling: so that he behaved with a weakness quite insistent with his resolution to punish her as much as she deserved: he actually began to kiss her iurn and say,
`Dont cry then, Magsie: - here, eat a bit o cake.
Maggies sobs began to subside, and she put out her mouth for the cake and bit a piece; and then Tom bit a piece, just for pany, and they ate together and rubbed each others cheeks and brows and ogether while they ate, with a humiliating resemblao two friendly ponies.
`e along, Magsie, and have tea, said Tom at last, when there was no more cake except what was down-stairs.
So ehe sorrows of this day, and the m Maggie was trotting with her own fishing-rod in one hand, and a handle of the basket iher, stepping always by a peculiar gift in the muddiest places and looking darkly radiant from under her beaver-bo because Tom was good to her. She had told Tom, however, that she should like him to put the worms on the hook for her, although she accepted his word when he assured her that worms couldnt feel (it was Toms private opinion that it didnt much matter if they did). He knew all about worms and fish and those things; and what birds were mischievous and how padlocks opened, and which way the handles of the gates were to be lifted. Maggie thought this sort of knowledge was very wonderful - much more difficult than remembering what was in the books; and she was rather in awe of Toms superiority, for he was the only person who called her knowledge `stuff and did not feel surprised at her cleverness. Tom, indeed, was of opinion that Maggie was a silly little thing: all girls were silly - they couldnt throw a stone so as to hit anything, couldnt do anything with a pocket-knife, and were frighte frogs. Still, he was very fond of his sister, a always to take care of her, make her his housekeeper, and punish her when she did wrong.
They were on their way to the Round Pool - that wonderful pool, which the floods had made a long while ago: no one knew how deep it was; and it was mysterious too that it should be almost a perfect round, framed in with willows and tall reeds, so that the water was only to be seen when you got close to the brink. The sight of the old favourite spot always heighteoms good-humour, and he spoke to Maggie in the most amicable whispers, as he opehe precious basket and prepared their tackle. He threw her line for her, and put the rod into her hand. Maggie thought it probable that the small fish would e to her hook, and the large oo Toms. But she had fotten all about the fish and was looking dreamily at the glassy water, when Tom said, in a loud whisper, `Look, look, Maggie! and came running to prevent her from snatg her line away.
Maggie was frightened lest she had been doing something wrong, as usual, but presently Tom drew out her line and brought a large tench boung on the grass.
Tom was excited.
`O Magsie! you little duck! Empty the basket.
Maggie was not scious of unusual merit, but it was enough that Tom called her Magsie, and leased with her. There was nothing to mar her delight in the whispers and the dreamy silences, when she listeo the light dipping sounds of the rising fish and the gentle rustling, as if the willows and the reeds and the water had their happy whisperings also. Maggie thought it would make a very nice heaven to sit by the pool in that way, and never be scolded. She never knew she had a bite till Tom told her, but she liked fishing very much.
It was one of their happy ms. They trotted along and sat down together with no thought that life would ever ge much for them: they would only get bigger and not go to school, and it would always be like the holidays; they would always live together and be fond of each other, and the mill with its booming - the great chestnut-tree under which they played at houses, their own little river, the Ripple, where the banks seemed like home, and Tom was always seeing the water-rats, while Maggie gathered the purple plumy tops of the reeds which she fot and dropped afterwards, above all, the great Floss along which they wandered with a sense of travel, to see the rushing spring tide - the awful Eagre - e up like a hungry monster, or to see the Great Ash which had once wailed and groaned like a man - these things would always be just the same to them. Tom thought people were at a disadvantage who lived on any other spot of the globe, and Maggie when she read about Christiana passing `the river over which there is ne always saw the Floss between the green pastures by the Great Ash.
Life did ge for Tom and Maggie; ahey were n in believing that the thoughts and loves of these first years would always make part of their lives. We could never have loved the earth so well if we had had no child-hood in it, - if it were not the earth where the same flowers e up again every spring that we used to gather with our tiny fingers as we sat lisping to ourselves on the grass - the same hips and haws oumn hedgerows - the same redbreasts that we used to call `Gods birds because they did no harm to the precious crops. What y is worth that sweet monotony where everything is known and loved because it is known?
The wood I walk in on this mild May day, with the young yellow-brown foliage of the oaks between me and the blue sky, the white star-flowers and the blue-eyed speedwell and the ground ivy at my feet - what grove of tropic palms, what strange ferns or splendid broad-petalled blossoms, could ever thrill such deep and delicate fibres within me as this home-se? These familiar flowers, these well-remembered bird-his sky with its fitful brightness, these furrowed and grassy fields, each with a sort of personality given to it by the capricious hedgerows - such things as these are the mother tongue of our imagination, the language that is laden with all the subtle iricable associations the fleeting hours of our childhood left behind them. Our delight in the sunshine on the deep bladed grass today, might be no more than the faint perception of wearied souls, if it were not for the sunshine and the grass in the far-off years, which still live in us and transform our perception into love.
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