chapter 22
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Thus for two days and two nights the bride-groom and the bride in a live, so t<bdi>?</bdi>o speak not as legal, but, as sweetheart-husband and sweetheart-wife . Ohird day, _then es the last ceremony in the ese marriage_the Miao-, the temple presentation or civic marriage. I say, ohird day because that is the rule deriguer as laid down in the Book of Rites. But now to save trouble and expe is generally performed on the day after. This ceremony_the temple presentation, takes place, when the aral temple of the family is nearby, _of course in the aral temple. But for people living in towns and cities where there is no aral temple of the family nearby, the ceremony is performed before the miniature aral chapel or shrine_which is in the house of every respectable family, even the poorest in a. This aral temple, chapel or shrih a tablet or red piece of paper on the wall, as I have said elsewhere, is the church of the State Religion of fucius in a corresponding to the church of the Church Religion in Christian tries.This ceremony_the temple presentation begins by the father of the bridegroom or failing him, the senior member of the family, going on his knees before the aral tablet_thus announg to the spirits of the dead aors that a young member of the family has nht a wife home into the family. Then the bridegroom and bride oer the other, each goes on his and her knees before the same a<bdo>..</bdo>ral tablet. From this moment the man and woman bees husband and wife, _not only before the moral Law od, _ but before the Family, before the State, before Civic Law. I have therefore called this ceremony of miao , temple presentation in the ese marriage, _the civic or civil marriage. Before this civic or civil marriage, the woman, the bride, _acc to the Book of Rites,_is not a legal wife-When the bride happens to die before this ceremony of temple presentation, she is not allowed_acc to the Book of Rites_to be buried in the family burying ground of her husband and her memorial tablet is not put up in the aral temple of his family .
Thus we see the tra a legal civic marriage in a is not between the woman and the man. The tract is between the woman
and the family of her husband. She is not married to him, but into his family. In the visiting card of a ese lady in a, she does not write, for instance, Mrs. Ku Hung-ming, but >99liｂ?</a>literally "Miss Feng, goo the home of the family (inally from) Tsin An adjusts her dress." _The traarriage in a beiween the woman and the family of her husband,_the husband and wife either of them repudiate the tract without the sent of the husbands family. This I want to point out here, is the fual differeween a marriage in a and a marriage in Europe and America. The marriage in Europe and America, _is what we ese _would call a sweet-heart marriage, a marriage, bound solely by love between the individual man and the individual woman. But in a the marriage is, as I have said, a civic marriage, a traot between the woman and the man, but between the woman and the family of her husband, _in which she has obligations not only to him, but also to his family, and through the family, to society, _to the social or civic order; in fact, to the State. Finally let me point out here that it is this civiception of mar<cite></cite>riage which gives solidarity and stability to the family, to the social or civic order, to the State in a. Until therefore, let me be permitted to say here, _ the people in Europe and Ameriderstand what true civic life means, uand and have a true ception of what it is really to be a citizen, _ a citizen not eae living for himself, but eae living first for his family, and through that for the civic order or State, _there then be no such thing as a stable society, civic order or State irue sense of the word. _A State such as we see it in modern Europe and Ameri to-day, where the men and woman have not a true ception of civic life, _such a State with all its parliament and maery of gover, may be called, if you like, _a big ercial , or as it really is, in times of war, a gang ands and pirates, _but not a State. In fact, I may be permitted further to say
here, it is the false ception of a State as a big ercial having only the selfish material is of those who have the biggest shares in the to be si<q></q>dered, _this false ception of a State with the esprit de corps ands, which is, at bottom, the cause of the terrible war now going on in Europe. In short, without a true ception of civic life there be no true State and without a true State, how there be civilisation. To us ese, a man who does not marry, who has no family, no home which he has to defend, ot be a patriot, and if calls himself a patriot, _we ese call him a brigand patriot. In fa order to have a true ception of a State or civic order, one must first have a true ception of a family, and to have a true ception of a family, of family life, one must first of all have a true ception of marriage, _marriage not as a sweetheart marriage, but as a civic marrage which I have in the above tried to describe.
But to return from the digression. Now you picture to yourself how the sweet-heart wife waiting for the m_to salute the father and mother of her husband, toilet finished, in a low voice, whispers to her sweet-heart husband and asks if her eyebroainted quite a la mode_Here you see, I say, there is love between husband and wife in a, although they have not seen each other before the marriage_even ohird day of the marriage. But if you think the love in the above is not deep enough, then take just these two lines of poetry from a wife to her absent husband.
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