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Iown of Savathi, every child khe name of the exalted Buddha, and every house repared to fill the alms-dish of Gotamas disciples, the silently begging ones. he town was Gotamas favourite place to stay, the grove of Jetavana, which the rich mert Anathapindika, an obedient worshipper of the exalted one, had given him and his people fift.All tales and answers, which the two young ascetics had received in their search fotamas abode, had poihem towards this area. And arriving at Savathi, in the very first house, before the door of which they stopped to beg, food has been offered to them, and they accepted the food, and Siddhartha asked the woman, who hahem the food:
"We would like to know, oh charitable one, where the Buddha dwells, the most venerable one, for we are two Samanas from the forest and have e, to see him, the perfected one, and to hear the teags from his mouth."
Quoth the woman: "Here, you have truly e to the right place, you Samanas from the forest. You should know, iavana, in the garden of Anathapindika is where the exalted one dwells. There you pilgrims shall spent the night, for there is enough space for the innumerable, who flock here, to hear the teags from his mouth."
This made Govinda happy, and full of joy he exclaimed: "Well so, thus we have reached our destination, and our path has e to an end! But tell us, oh mother of the pilgrims, do you know him, the Buddha, have you seen him with your own eyes?"
Quoth the woman: "Many times I have seen him, the exalted one. On many days, I have seen him, walking through the alleys in silence, wearing his yellow cloak, presenting his alms-dish in sile the doors of the houses, leaving with a filled dish."
Delightedly, Govinda listened and wao ask and hear much more. But Siddhartha urged him to walk on. They thanked a and hardly had to ask for dires, for rather many pilgrims and monks as well from Gotamas unity were on their way to the Jetavana. And sihey reached it at night, there were stant arrivals, shouts, and talk of those who sought shelter and got it. The two Samanas, aced to life in the forest, found quickly and without making any noise a place to stay aed there until the m.
At suhey saw with astonishment what a large crowd of believers and curious people had spent the night here. On all paths of the marvellous grove, monks walked in yellow robes, uhe trees they sat here and there, in deep plation--or in a versation about spiritual matters, the shady gardens looked like a city, full of people, bustling like bees. The majority of the monks went out with their alms-dish, to collect food in town for their lunch, the only meal of the day. The Buddha himself, the enlightened one, was also in the habit of taking this walk to beg in the m.
Siddhartha saw him, and he instantly reised him, as if a god had pointed him out to him. He saw him, a simple man in a yellow robe, bearing the alms-dish in his hand, walking s?99ｌib.ilently.
"Look here!" Siddhartha said quietly to Govinda. "This one is the Buddha."
Attentively, Govinda looked at the monk in the yellow robe, who seemed to be in no way different from the hundreds of other monks. And soon, Govinda also realized: This is the one. And they followed him and observed him.
The Buddha went on his way, modestly and deep in his thoughts, his calm face was her happy nor sad, it seemed to smile quietly and inwardly. With a hidden smile, quiet, calm, somewhat resembling a healthy child, the Buddha walked, wore the robe and placed his feet just as all of his monks did, acc to a precise rule. But his fad his walk, his quietly llance, his quietly dangling hand and even every finger of his quietly dangling hand expressed peace, expressed perfe, did not search, did not imitate, breathed softly in an unwhithering calm, in an unwhithering light, an untouchable peace.
Thus Gotama walked towards the town, to collect alms, and the two Samanas reised him solely by the perfe of his calm, by the quietness of his appearance, in which there was no searg, no desire, no imitation, no effort to be seen, only light and peace.
"Today, well hear the teags from his mouth." said Govinda.
Siddhartha did not answer. He felt little curiosity for the teags, he did not believe that they would teach him anything new, but he had, just as Govinda had, heard the tents of this Buddhas teags again and again, though these reports only represented sed- or third-hand information. But attentively he looked at Gotamas head, his shoulders, his feet, his quietly dangling hand, and it seemed to him as if every joint of every finger of this hand was of these teags, spoke of, breathed of, exhaled the fragrant of, glistened of truth. This man, this Buddha was truthful down to the gesture of his last fihis man was holy. Never before, Siddhartha had veed a person so muever before he had loved a person as much as this one.
They both followed the Buddha until they reached the town and theurned in silence, for they themselves inteo abstain from on this day. They saw Gotama returning--what he ate could not even have satisfied a birds appetite, and they saw him retiring into the shade of the mango-trees.
But in the evening, when the heat cooled down and everyone in the camp started to bustle about and gathered around, they heard the Buddha teag. They heard his voice, and it was also perfected, was of perfect ess, was full of peace. Gotama taught the teags of suffering, of the in of suffering, of the way to relieve suffering. Calmly and clearly his quiet speech flowed on.<u></u> Suffering was life, full of suffering was the world, but salvation from suffering had been found: salvation was obtained by him who would walk the path of the Buddha. With a soft, yet firm voice the exalted one spoke, taught the four main does, taught the eightfold path, patiently he went the usual path of the teags, of the examples, of the repetitions, brightly and quietly his voice hovered over the listeners, like a light, like a starry sky.
When the Buddha--night had already fallen--ended his speech, many a pilgrim stepped forward and asked to accepted into the unity, sought refuge ieags. And Gotama accepted them by speaking: "You have heard the teags well, it has e to you well. Thus join us and walk in holiness, to put ao all suffering."
Behold, then Govinda, the shy one, also stepped forward and spoke: "I also take my refuge in the exalted one and his teags," and he asked to accepted into the unity of his disciples and ted.
Right afterwards, when the Buddha had retired for the night, Govinda turo Siddhartha and spoke eagerly: "Siddhartha, it is not my place to scold you. We have both heard the exalted one, be have both perceived the teags. Govinda has heard the teags, he has taken refuge in it. But you, my honoured friend, dont you also want to walk the path of salvation? Would you want to hesitate, do you want to wait any longer?"
Siddhartha awakened as if he had been asleep, when he heard Govindas words. For a long tome, he looked into Govindas face. Then he spoke quietly, in a voice without mockery: "Govinda, my friend, now you have taken this step, now you have chosen this path. Always, oh Govinda, youve been my friend, youve always walked one s<s></s>tep behind me. Often I have thought: Wont Govinda for once also take a step by himself, without me, out of his own soul? Behold, now youve turned into a man and are choosing your path for yourself. I wish that you would go it up to its end, oh my friend, that you shall find salvation!"
Govinda, not pletely uanding it yet, repeated his question in an impatient tone: "Speak up, I beg you, my dear! Tell me, si could not be any other way, that you also, my learned friend, will take ye with the exalted Buddha!"
Siddhartha placed his hand on Govindas shoulder: "You failed to hear my good wish for you, oh Govinda. Im repeating it: I wish that you would go this path up to its end, that you shall find salvation!"
In this moment, Govinda realized that his friend had left him, aarted to weep.
"Siddhartha!" he exclaimed lamentingly.
Siddhartha kindly spoke to him: "Dont fet, Govinda, that you are now one of the Samanas of the Buddha! You have renounced your home and your parents, renounced your birth and possessions, renounced your free will, renounced all friendship. This is what the teags require, this is what the exalted one wants. This is what you wanted for yourself. Tomorrow, oh Govinda, Ill leave you."
For a long time, the friends tinued walking in the grove; for a long time, they lay there and found no sleep. And over and ain, Govinda urged his friend, he should tell him why he would not want to seek refuge in Gotamas teags, what fault he would find ieags. But Siddhartha turned him away every time and said: "Be tent, Govinda! Very good are the teags of the exalted one, how could I find a fault in them?"
Very early in the m, a follower of Buddha, one of his oldest monks, went through the garden and called all those to him who had as novices taken their refuge ieags, to dress them up in the yellow robe and to instruct them in the first teags and duties of their position. Then Govinda broke loose, embraced once again his childhood friend a with the novices.
But Siddhartha walked through the grove, lost in thought.
Then he happeo meet Gotama, the exalted one, and when he greeted him with resped the Buddhas glance was so full of kindness and calm, the young man summoned his ce and asked the venerable one for the permission to talk to him. Silently the exalted one nodded his approval.
Quoth Siddhartha: "Yesterday, oh exalted one, I had been privileged to hear your wondrous teags. Together with my friend, I had e from afar, to hear your teags. And now my friend is going to stay with your people, he has taken his refuge with you. But I will again start on my pilgrimage."
"As you please," the venerable one spoke politely.
"Too bold is my speech," Siddhartha tinued, "but I do not want to leave the exalted ohout having holy told him my thoughts. Does it please the venerable oo listen to me for one moment longer?"
Silently, the Buddha nodded his approval.
Quoth Siddhartha: "Ohing, oh most venerable one, I have admired in your teags most of all. Everything in your teags is perfectly clear, is proven; you are presenting the world as a perfect , a which is never and nowhere broken, aernal the links of which are causes and effects. Never before, this has been seen so clearly; never before, this has beeed so irrefutably; truly, the heart of every Brahman has to beat stronger with love, once he has seen the world through your teags perfectly ected, without gaps, clear as a crystal, not depending on ot depending on gods. Whether it may be good or bad, whether living acc to it would be suffering or joy, I do not wish to discuss, possibly this is not essential--but the uniformity of the world, that everything which happens is ected, that the great and the small things are all enpassed by the same forces of time, by the same law of causes, of ing into being and of dying, this is what shines brightly out of your exalted teags, oh perfected one. But acc to your very own teags, this unity and necessary sequence of all things is heless broken in one place, through a small gap, this world of unity is invaded by something alien, something new, something which had not been there before, and which ot be demonstrated and ot be proven: these are your teags of overing the world, of salvation. But with this small gap, with this small breach, the eernal and uniform law of the world is breaking apart again and bees void. Please five me for expressing this obje."
Quietly, Gotama had listeo him, unmoved. Now he spoke, the perfected one, with his kind, with his polite and clear voice: "Youve heard the teags, oh son of a Brahman, and good for you that youve thought about it thus deeply. Youve found a gap in it, an error. You should think about this further. But be warned, oh seeker of knowledge, of the thicket of opinions and uing about words. There is nothing to opinions, they may be beautiful ly, smart or foolish, everyone support them or discard them. But the teags, youve heard from me, are no opinion, and their goal is not to explain the world to those who seek knowledge. They have a different goal; their goal is salvation from suffering. This is what Gotama teaches, nothing else."
"I wish that you, oh exalted one, would not be angry with me," said the young man. "I have not spoken to you like this tue with you, tue about words. You are truly right, there is little to opinions. But let me say this one more thing: I have not doubted in you for a single moment. I have not doubted for a single moment that you are Buddha, that you have reached the goal, the highest goal towards whiany thousands of Brahmans and sons of Brahmans are on their way. You have found salvation from death. It has e to you in the course of your own search, on your own path, through thoughts, through meditation, through realizations, through enlighte. It has not e to you by means of teags! And--thus is my thought, oh exalted one,--nobody will obtain salvation by means of teags! You will not be able to vey and say to anybody, oh venerable one, in words and through teags what has happeo you in the hour of enlighte! The teags of the enlightened Buddha tain much, it teaches many to live righteously, to avoid evil. But there is ohing which these so clear, these so venerable teags do not tain: they do not tain the mystery of what the exalted one has experienced for himself, he alone among hundreds of thousands. This is what I have thought and realized, when I have heard the teags. This is why I am tinuing my travels--not to seek other, better teags, for I know there are none, but to depart from all teags and all teachers and to reach my goal by myself or to die. But often, Ill think of this day, oh exalted one, and of this hour, when my eyes beheld a holy man."
The Buddhas eyes quietly looked to the ground; quietly, in perfect equanimity his inscrutable face was smiling.
"I wish," the venerable one spoke slowly, "that your thoughts shall not be in error, that you shall reach the goal! But tell me: Have you seen the multitude of my Samanas, my many brothers, who have taken refuge ieags? And do you believe, oh stranger, oh Samana, do you believe that it would be better for them all the abandoeags and to return into the life the world and of desires?"
"Far is such a thought from my mind," exclaimed Siddhartha. "I wish that they shall all stay with the teags, that they shall reach their goal! It is not my place to judge another persons life. Only for myself, for myself alone, I must decide, I must chose, I must refuse. Salvation from the self is what we Samanas search for, oh exalted one. If I merely were one of your disciples, oh venerable one, Id fear that it might happen to me that only seemingly, only deceptively my self would be calm and be redeemed, but that in truth it would live on and grow, for then I had replaced my self with the teags, my duty to follow you, my love for you, and the unity of the monks!"
With half of a smile, with an unwavering openness and kindness, Gotama looked into the strangers eyes and bid him to leave with a hardly noticeable gesture.
"You are wise, oh Samana.", the venerable one spoke.
"You know how to talk wisely, my friend. Be aware of too much wisdom!"
The Buddha turned away, and his gland half of a smile remained forever etched in Siddharthas memory.
I have never before seen a person gland smile, sit and walk this way, he thought; truly, I wish to be able to gland smile, sit and walk this way, too, thus free, thus venerable, thus cealed, thus open, thus child-like and mysterious. Truly, only a person who has succeeded in reag the innermost part of his self would gland walk this way. Well so, I also will seek to reach the innermost part of my self.
I saw a man, Siddhartha thought, a single man, before whom I would have to lower my glance. I do not want to lower my glance before any other, not before any other. No teags will entice me any more, sihis mans teags have iced me.
I am deprived by the Buddha, thought Siddhartha, I am deprived, and even more he has given to me. He has deprived me of my friend, the one who had believed in me and now believes in him, who had been my shadow and is now Gotamas shadow. But he has given me Siddhartha, myself.
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