Chapter XIX

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    When I began my sed year at the Gilman school, I was full of hope aermination to succeed. But during the first few weeks I was fronted with unforeseen difficulties. Mr. Gilman had agreed that that year I should study mathematics principally. I had physics, algebra, geometry, astronomy, Greek and Latin.

    Unfortunately, many of the books I needed had not been embossed in time for me to begin with the classes, and I lacked important apparatus for some of my studies. The classes I was in were very large, and it was impossible for the teachers to give me special instruiss Sullivan was obliged to read all the books to me, and interpret for the instructors, and for the first time in eleven years it seemed as if her dear hand would not be equal to the task.

    It was necessary for me to write algebra ary in class and solve problems in physics, and this I could not do until we bought a braille writer, by means of which I could put doweps and processes of my work. I could not follow with my eyes the geometrical figures drawn on the blackboard, and my only means of getting a clear idea of them was to make them on a cushion with straight and curved wires, which had bent and pointed ends. I had to carry in my mind, as Mr. Keith says in his report, the lettering of the figures, the hypothesis and clusion, the stru and the process of the proof. In a word, every study had it<var>藏书网</var>s obstacles. Sometimes I lost all ce arayed my feelings in a way I am ashamed to remember, especially as the signs of my trouble were afterward used against Miss Sullivan, the only person of all the kind friends I had there, who could make the crooked straight and the rough places smooth.

    Little by little, however, my difficulties began to disappear. The embossed books and other apparatus arrived, and I threw myself into the work with renewed fidence. Algebra ary were the only studies that tio defy my efforts to prehend them. As I have said before, I had no aptitude for mathematics; the different points were not explaio me as fully as I wished. The geometrical diagrams were particularly vexing because I could not see the relation of the different parts to one another, even on the cushion. It was not until Mr. Keith taught me that I had a clear idea of mathematics.

    I was beginning to overe these difficulties when a occurred which ged everything.

    Just before the books came, Mr. Gilman had begun to remonstrate with Miss Sullivan on the ground that I was w too hard, and in spite of my ear protestations, he reduced the number of my recitations. At the beginning we had agreed that I should, if necessary, take five years to prepare for college, but at the end of the first year the success of my examinations showed Miss Sullivan, Miss Harbaugh (Mr. Gilmaeacher), and oher, that I could without too much effort plete my preparation in two years more. Mr. Gilman at first agreed to this; but when my tasks had bee someerplexing, he insisted that I was overworked, and that I should remain at his school three years longer. I did not like his plan, for I wished to enter college with my class.

    On the seveh of November I was not very well, and did not go to school. Although Miss Sullivahat my indisposition was not serious, yet Mr. Gilman, on hearing of it, declared that I was breaking down a<tt></tt>nd made ges in my studies which would have re impossible for me to take my final examinations with my class. In the end the difference of opinioween Mr. Gilman and Miss Sullivaed in my mothers withdrawing my sister Mildred and me from the Cambridge school.

    After some delay it was arrahat I should tinue my studies under a tutor, Mr. Merton S. Keith, of Cambridge. Miss Sullivan and I spent the rest of the winter with our friends, the Chamberlins iham, twenty-five miles from Boston.

    From February to July, 1898, Mr. Keith came out to Wrentham twice a week, and taught me algebra, gereek and Latin. Miss Sullivan interpreted his instru.

    In October, 1898, we retur>９９lib?t> to Boston. Fht months Mr. Keith gave me lessons five times a week, in periods of about an hour. He explained each time what I did not uand in the previous lesson, assigned new work, and took home with him the Greek exercises which I had written during the week on my typewriter, corrected them fully, aurhem to me.

    In this way my preparation for college went on without interruption. I found it much easier and pleasao be taught by myself than to receive instru in class. There was no hurry, no fusion. My tutor had plenty of time to explain what I did not uand, so I got on faster and did better work than I ever did in school. I still found more difficulty in mastering problems in mathematics than I did in any other of my studies. I wish algebra ary had been half as easy as the languages and literature. But even mathematics Mr. Keith made iing; he succeeded in whittling problems small enough to get through my brain. He kept my mind alert and eager, and trai to reason clearly, and to seek clusions calmly and logically, instead of jumping wildly into spad arriving nowhere. He was always gentle and forbearing, no matter how dull I might be, and believe me, my stupidity would often have exhausted the patience of Job.

    Oh and 30th of June, 1899, I took my final examinations for Radcliffe College. The first day I had Elementary G<bdo>..</bdo>reek and Advanced Latin, and the sed day Geometry, Algebra and Advanced Greek.

    The college authorities did not allow Miss Sullivan to read the examination papers to me; so Mr. Eugene C.

    Vining, one of the instructors at the Perkins Institution for the Blind, was employed to copy the papers for me in Ameri braille. Mr. Vining was a strao me, and could not unicate with me, except by writing braille. The proctor was also a stranger, and did not attempt to unicate with me in any way.

    The braille worked well enough in the languages, but when it came to geometry and algebra, difficulties arose.

    I was sorely perplexed, a disced wasting much precious time, especially in algebra. It is true that I was familiar with all literary braille in on use in this try--English, Ameri, and New York Point; but the various signs and symbols iry and algebra ihree systems are very different, and I had used only the English braille in my algebra.

    Two days before the examinations, Mr. Vini me a braille copy of one of the old Harvard papers in algebra. To my dismay I found that it was in the Ameriotation. I sat down immediately and wrote to Mr.

    Vining, asking him to explain the signs. I received another paper and a table of signs by return mail, and I set to work to learation. But on the night before the algebra examination, while I was struggling over some very plicated examples, I could not tell the binations of bracket, brad radical. Both Mr.

    Keith and I were distressed and full of forebodings for the morrow; but we went over to the college a little before the examination began, and had Mr. Vining explain more fully the Ameri symbols.

    Iry my chief difficulty was that I had always been aced to read the propositions in line print, or to have them spelled into my hand; and somehow, although the propositions were right before me, I found the braille fusing, and could not fix clearly in my mind what I was reading. But when I took up algebra I had a harder time still. The signs, which I had so lately learned, and which I thought I knew, perplexed me.

    Besides, I could not see what I wrote on my typewriter. I had always done my work in braille or in my head.

    Mr. Keith had relied too muy ability to solve problems mentally, and had not trained me to write examination papers. sequently my work ainfully slow, and I had to read the examples over and over before I could form any idea of what I was required to do. Indeed, I am not sure now that I read all the signs correctly. I found it very hard to keep my wits about me.

    But I do not blame any ohe administrative board of Radcliffe did not realize how difficult they were making my examinations, nor did they uand the peculiar difficulties I had to surmount. But if they uionally placed obstacles in my way, I have the solation of knowing that I overcame them all.

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