Hiding Man
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Enter expeg to find the place empty (I. A. L. Burligame walks through any open door). But it is not, there is a man sitting halfway down the right side, heavy, Negro, well dressed, dark glasses. Decide after moments thought that if he is hostile, will flee through door marked EXIT (no bulb behi sign, ainty that it leads anywhere). The film is in progress, title Attack of the Puppet People. Previously observed films at same theater, Cool and the Crazy, She Gods of Shark Reef, Night of the Blood Beast, Diary of a High School Bride. All superior examples of geending toward suggested offs rapes, obse tortures: man with huge pliers advang on disheveled beauty, cut to girls face, to pliers, to mans face, to girl, scream, blackout."Its better when the place is full," observes Negro, lifting voice slightly to carry over Pinocchio noises from puppet people. Voice pleasant, eyes behind glasses sinister? Choice of responses: anger, agreement, indifference, pique, shame, scholarly dispute. Keep eye o, what about boy in lobby, what was kite for? "Of course its never been full." Apparently there is going to be a versation. "Not all these years. As a matter of fact, youre the first oo e in, ever."
"People dont always tell the truth."
Let him chew that. Boy in lobby wore T-shirt, prihereon, LADY OF THE SORROWS. Where glimpsed before? Possible agent of the spiracy, in the pay of the anization, duties: lying, spying, tapping wires, setting fires, civil disorders. Seat myself on opposite side of theater from Negro and observe film. S torn from top to bottom, a large rent, faces and parts of gestures fall off into the void. Hard-pressed U. S. Army, Ho John, Hound Dog, Wowser notwithstanding, psychological warfare and nerve gas notwithstanding, falls back at onrush of puppet people. Young lieutenant defends Army nurse (uniform in rags, tasty thigh, lovely breast) from obvious sexual i of splinter men.
"Dont you know the place is closed?" calls friend in friendly tone. "Didnt you see the sign?"
"The picture is on. And youre here."
Signs after all mean everyone, if there are to be exceptiohem be listed: soldiers, sailors, airmen, children with kites, dogs under suitable restraint, distressed gentlefolk, people who promise not to peek. Well-dressed Negroes behind dark glasses in closed theaters, the attempt to scrape acquaintahe helpful friend with the friendly word, note of menace as in Dragstrip Riot, as in Terror from the Year 5000. Childs play, amateur night, with whom do they think they have to deal?
"The silly thing just keeps running," alleges friend. "Thats whats so fasating. tinuous performances since 1944. Just keeps rolling along." Tilts head back, laughs theatrically. "It wasnt even any good then, for chrissake."
"Why do you keep ing back?"
"I dont think thats an iing question."
Friend looks bland, studies film. Fires have started in many areas, the music is demure. I entrust myself to these places advisedly, there are risks but so also are there risks in crossing streets, opening doors, looking strangers in the eye. Man ot live without plag himself naked before circumstance, as in warfare, uhe sea, jet planes, women. Flight is always available, cealment is alossible.
"What I meant was," tinues friend, animated now, smiling auring, "other theaters. When theyre full, you get lost in the crowd. Here, if anybody came in, theyd spot you in a minute. But most people, they believe the sign." I. A. L. Burligame walks through any open door, private homes, public gatherings, stores with detectives wearing hats, meetings of Sons and Daughters of I Will Arise, but should I boast? Keep moving, terpung, examination of motives reveals appeal of dark places has nothing to do with circumstance. But because I feel warmer. The intimation was, most people do what they are told, NO L, N BETWEEN 8 AM AND 5 PM, KEEP OFF THE GRASS, CLOSED FOR REPAIRS KEEP OUT. Negro moves two seats closer, lowers voice fidentially.
"Of course its no of mine. . ." Face appears gentl<df</dfn>e, ied, as with old screw in Girl oh Row, aerialist-cum-strangler in Circus of Horrors. "Of course I couldnt care less. But frankly, I feel a certain want of seriousness."
"I am absolutely serious."
Oher hand, perhaps antagonist is purely, simply what he pretends to be: well-dressed Negro with dark glasses in closed theater. But where then is the wienie? What happens to the twist? All of life is rooted in tradiovement in dire of self, two spaces, diagonally, argues hidden threat, there must be room for irony.
"Then what are you doing here?" Friend sits ba slidi with air of having ched argument. "Surely you dont imagihis is a suitable place?"
"It looked good, from the outside. And theres no one here but you."
"Ah, but I am here. What do you know about me? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I could be anybody."
"So could I be anybody. And I notice that you too keep an eye on the door."
"Thus, roblematic for each other." Said smoothly, with sciousness of power. "Names Bane, by the way." Lights pipe, with flourishes and affectations. "Not my real one, of course."
"Of course." Pipe signal to federates posted in baly, behind arras, under EXIT signs? Or is all this dumb show merely ial, cealing vai, empty brain? On s famous stist has proposed measures to tain puppet people, involving mutaes thrown against their flank. The try is in a panic, Wall Street has fallen, the President looks grave. And what of young informer in lobby, what is his relevance, who corrupted wearer of T-shirt, holder of kite?
"Im a dealer in notions," friend volunteers. "Dang dolls, learn handwriting analysis by mail, secrets of eternal life, s and stamps, amaze your friends, pagan rites, abahrilling, fully illustrated worldwide sele of rare daggers, gurkhas, stilettos, bowies, hunting, throwing."
"And what are you doing here?"
"Like you," he avers. "Watg the picture. Just dropped in."
We resume viewing. Role of Bane obscure, possible motives in igniting versation: (1) Agent of the spiracy, (2) Fellow sufferer in the underground, (3) Engaged in terespionage, (4) Talent scout for Poliformers School, (5) Market researakers of Attack of the Puppet People, (6) Plain nosy bastard unected with any of the foing. Decide hypotheses (1), (2), and (6) most tenable, if (6), however, simple snubs should have dohe job, as administered in remark "People dont always tell the truth," in remark "I notice you too keep an eye on the door." Also discourse has hidden pattern, too curious, too knowledgeable in sociology of cealment. Cover story thin, who fines himself to rare daggers, gurkhas, bowies, hunting, throwing in this day and age when large-scale fraud is possible to even the most i operator, as in gover wheat, television, uranium, systems development, public relations? Also disguise is onplace, why a Negro, why a Negro in dark glasses, why sitting in the dark? Now he pretends fasation with events on s, he says it has been playing since 1944, whereas I know to my certain knowledge that last week it was She Gods of Shark Reef, before that Night of the Blood Beast, Diary of a High School Bride, Cool and the Crazy. ing: Reform School Girl on double bill with Invasion of the Saucer Men. Why lie? or is he attempting to suggest the mutability of time? Odor of sweetness from somewhere, flrowing in cracks of floor, underh the seats? Possible verbena, possible gladiolus, iris, phlox. t identify at this distance, what does he want? Now he looks sincere, making favolves removing glasses (his eyes burn in the dark), wrinkling forehead, drawing down ers of mouth, he does it very well.
"Tell me exactly what it is you hide from," he drops, the Enola Gay on final leg of notorious miss<mark></mark>ion.
Bomb fails to fire, Burligame reaot. Face the image of careless gaiety, in his own atrocious phrase, couldnt care less. Bane now addresses task ore, it is clear that he is a professional, but sent by whom? Iimes everything is very difficult, the lines of demarcatio clear.
"Look," pleads he, moving two spaearer, whispering, "I know youre hiding, you know youre hiding, I will make a fession, I too am hiding. We have discovered each other, we are mutually embarrassed, we watch the exits, we listen for the sound h voices, the sound of betrayal. Why not fide in me, why not make on cause, every day is a little longer, sometimes I think my hearing is gone, sometimes my eyes close without instru. Two watch better than one, I will even tell you my real name."
Possible emotions in the face of blatant siy: repugnance, withdrawal, joy, flight, camaraderie, denounce him to the authorities (there are still authorities). A, is this not circumstance before which the naked Burligame might dangle, is this not real life, risk and danger, as in Voodoo Woman, as iure from the Black Lagoon?
Bane tinues. "My real name (how I say it?) is Adrian Hipkiss, it is this among other things I flee. you imagine being named Adrian Hipkiss, the snickers, the jokes, the ely, it was insupportable. There were other items, in 1944 I mailed a letter in which I didnt say what I meant, I moved the day, it was New Years Eve and all the moving men were drunk, they broke a leg on the piano. For fear it would return to accuse me. My life since has been one mask after another, Watford, Watkins, Watley, Watlow, Watson, Watt, now identity is gone, blown away, who am I, who knows?"
Bane-Hipkiss begins to sob, cooling system switches on, city life a texture of mysterious noises, starting and stopping, starting and stopping, we win trol of the physical enviro only at the expense of the auditory, what if one were sensitive, what if one flinched in the dark? Mutaes dev puppet people at a great rate, decorations for the stists, tasty nurse for young lieutenant, they will end it with a joke if possible, meaning: it was not real after all. Cheatis on every level, the attempt to deny what the eye reveals, what the mind knows to be true. Bane-Hipkiss strains credulity, a pig in a poke, if not (6) or (1) am I prepared to deal with (2)? Shall there be solidarity? But weeping is beyond toleration, unnatural, it should be reserved freat occasions, the telegram in the depths of the night, rail disasters, earthquakes, war.
"I hide from the priests" (my voice curiously tentative, fluting), "when I was the tallest boy in the eighth grade at Our Lady of the Sorrows they wanted me to go out for basketball, I would not, Father Blau the athletic priest said I avoided wholesome sport to seek out occasions of sin, in addition to the sin of pride, in addition to various other sins carefully eed before an ied group of my poraries."
Bane-Hipkiss brightens, ceases sobbing, meanwhile film begins again, puppet people move once mainst U. S. Army, they are invincible, Ho John is a joke, Hound Dog malfuns, Wowser detonates on laung pad, flower smell stronger and sweeter, are they really growing underh our feet, is time in truth passing?
"Father Blau took his revenge in the fessional, he insisted on knowing everything. And there was much to know. Because I no longer believed as I was supposed to believe. Or believed too much, indiscriminately. To one who has always been overly susceptible to slogans they should never have said: You ge the world. I suggested to my fessor that certain aspects of the ritual pared unfavorably with the resurre se in Bride of Fraein. He was shocked."
Bane-Hipkiss pales, he himself is shocked.
"But because he had, as it were, a vested i in me, he sought to make clear the error of my ways. I did not ihis i, it embarrassed me, I had other things on my mind. Was it my fault that in all that undernourished parish only I had secreted suffit hormones, had chewed thhly enough the soup and chips that were our daily fare, to push head and hand in close proximity to the basket?"
"You could have faked a sprained ankle," Bane-Hipkiss says reasonably.
"That was unfortunately only the beginning. One day in the midst of a good Act of trition, Father Blau officiating with pious malice, I leaped from the box and sprinted down the aisle, o return. Running past people doing the Stations of the Cross, past the tiny Negro lady, somebodys maid, our only black parishioner, who always sat in the very last row with a handkerchief over her head. Leaving Father Blau, unregee, with the sorry residue of our weekly enter: impure thoughts, anger, dirty words, disobedience."
Bane-Hipkiss travels two seats nearer (why two at a time?), there is an edge to his voice. "Impure thoughts?"
"My impure thoughts were of a particularly detailed and graphid, involving at that time principally Nedda Ann Bush who lived two doors dowreet from us and was handsomely developed. Under whose windows I crouched on many long nights awaiting revelations of beauty, the light being just right between the bureau and the window. Being rewarded on several occasions, namely 3 May 1942 with a glimpse of famous bust, 18 October 1943, a particularly chill evening, transfer of pants from person to clothes hamper, coupled with three minutes subsequent exposure in state of nature. Before she thought to turn out the light."
"Extraordinary!" Bane-Hipkiss exhales noisily. It is clear that fession is doing him good in some obscure way. "But surely this priest extended some sort of spiritual solation, sel. . ."
"He once offered me part of a Baby Ruth."
"This was a mark of favor?"
"He wanted me to grow. It was in his own i. His eye was on the All-City title."
"But it was an act of kindness."
"That was before I told him I wasnt going out. In the dark box with sliding panels, faces behind s as in Bighouse Baby, as in Mysterious House of Usher, he gave me only steadfast refusal to uand these preoccupations, wholly natural and good i in female parts however illicitly pursued, as under window. Coupled with skilled questioning inte forth every final detail, including self-abuse and pulsive overption of Baby Ruths, Mars Bars, Butterfingers, significe of whi terms of sexual self-aggra was first pointed out to me by this good and holy man."
Bane-Hipkiss looks disturbed, why not? it is a disturbing story, there are things in this world that disgust, life is not all Vistavision and Thunderbirds, even Mars Bars have hidden significe, dangerous to plumb. The eradication of risk is the work of womens anizations and foundations, few of us, alas, be great sinners.
"Became therefore a vinced anticlerical. No longer loved God, ged at words My son, fled blackrobes wherever they appeared, pronounced anathemas where appropriate, blasphemed, wrote dirty limericks involving rhymes for nunnery, was in fially aliehen it became clear that this game was not so one-sided as had at first appeared, that there ursuit."
"Ah. . ."
"This was revealed to me by a renegade Brother of the Holy Sepulcher, a not ht man but good i recesses of heart, who had been employed fht years as cook in bishops palace. He alleged that on wall of bishops study was map, placed there were pins representing those in the diocese whose souls were at issue."
"Good God!" expletes Bane-Hipkiss, is there a faint flavor here of. . .
"It is kept rigorously up-to-date by the coadjutor, a rather political man. As are, in my experience, most church funaries just under episcopal rank. Paradoxically, the bishop himself is a saint."
Bane-Hipkiss looks incredulous. "You still believe in saints?"
"I believe in saints,
"Holy water,
"Poor boxes,
"Ashes on Ash Wednesday,
"Lilies oer Sunday,
"Crèches, sers, choirs,
"Albs, Bibles, miters, martyrs,
"Little red lights,
"Ladies of the Altar Society,
"Knights of bus,
"Cassocks and cruets,
"Dispensations and indulgences,
"The efficacy of prayer,
&quht Reverends and Very Reverends,
"Tabernacles, monstrances,
"Bells ringing, people singing,
"Wine and bread,
"Sisters, Brothers, Fathers,
"The right of sanctuary,
"The primacy of the papacy,
"Bulls and cordats,
"The Ihe Last Judgment,
"Heaven and Hell,
"I believe it all. Its impossible n<u>?</u>ot to believe. Thats what makes things so difficult."
"But then. . ."
"It was basketball I didnt believe in."
But there is more, it was the first ritual which discovered to me the possibility of other rituals, other celebrations, for instance Blood of Dracula, Amazing Colossal Man, It quered the World. Bane-Hipkiss absorb this heological point, that one believes what one , follows that vision which most brilliantly exalts and vilifies the world? Alone in the dark one surreo Amazing Colossal Man all hope, all desire, meanwhile the bishop sends out his patrols, the y old priests, the nuns on simple errands in stately pairs, I remember the year everyone wore black, what dodging into doorways, what obse haste in crossing streets!
Bane-Hipkiss blushes, looks awkward, shuffles feet, opens mouth to speak.
"I have a fession."
"fess," I urge, "feel free."
"I was sent here."
Uheir noses or in Tibet, they have agents even in the lamaseries.
"That reminds me of something," I state, but Bane-Hipkiss rises, raises hand to head, ands: "Look!" As Burligame shrinks he strips away his skin. Clever Bane-Hipkiss, now he has me, I sit gape-mouthed, he stands grinning with skin draped like dead dishrag over paw, he is white! I pretend imperturbability. "That reminds me, regarding the point I was making earlier, the film we are viewing is an iing example. . ."
But he interrupts.
"Your position, while heretical, has its points," he states, "but oher hand we ot allow the iy of our operation to be placed iion, willy-nilly, by people with funny ideas. Father Blau was wrong, we get some lemons just like any roup. Oher hand if every one of our people takes it into his head to flee us, who will be saved? You might start a trend. It was necessary to use this" (holds up falseface guiltily) "to get close to you, it was for the health of your soul."
Barefaced Bane-Hipkiss rattles on, has Burligame at last been taken, must he give himself up? There is still the sign marked EXIT, into the John, up oool, out through the window. "I am empowered to use force," he imparts, frowning.
&quarding the point I was making earlier," I state, &quinning to make, the film we are watg is itself a ritual, many people view such films and refuse to uand what they are saying, sider the. . ."
"At present I have more pressing business," he says, "will you e quietly?"
"No," I affirm, "pay attention to the picture, it is trying to tell you something, revelation is not so frequent iimes that one afford to diddle it away."
"I must warn you," he replies, "that to a man filled with zeal nothing is proscribed. Zeal," he states proudly, "is my middle name."
"I will not stir."
"You must."
Now Bane-Hipkiss moves lightly on little priests feet, sidewise through rows of seats, a ing smile on faow revealed as hierarchical, hands clasped ily in front of him to demonstrate purity of i. Strange high howling noises, as in Night of the Blood Beast, fearful reddish cast to sky, as in It quered the World, where do they e from? The sweetness from beh the seats is overp, I attempted to warn him but he would not hear, slip the case from jacket pocket, join needle to deadly body of instrument, crou readiness. Bane-Hipkiss advances, eyes clamped shut in mystical ecstasy, I grasp him by the throat, plunge needle into neck, his eyes bulge, his face collapses, he subsides quivering into a lump among the seats, in a moment he will begin barking like a dog.
Most people havent the wit to be afraid, most view television, smoke cigars, fondle wives, have children, vote, plant gladiolus, iris, phlox, never front Screaming Skull, Teenage Werewolf, Beast with a Thousand Eyes, no ception of what lies beh the surfao faith in any maion not certified by hierarchy. Who is safe in home with Teenage Werewolf abroad, with streets under sway of Beast with a Thousand Eyes? People think these things are jokes, but they are wrong, it is dangerous to ignore a vision, sider Bane-Hipkiss, he has begun to bark.
百度搜索 Come Back, Dr. Caligari 天涯 或 Come Back, Dr. Caligari 天涯在线书库 即可找到本书最新章节.