天涯在线书库《www.tianyabook.com》 《Runaway Bride》 PART 1 FADE IN EXT. AN IMPOSSIBLE EXPANSE OF MARYLAND FARMLAND - DAY The wind rustles the endless field of , blows over the freshly mown meadow of soybeans, and magically sways a copse of trees. Its a Fall after-noon. A SUDDEN POUNDING OF GALLOPING HOOVES breaks the pead... A HORSE and RIDER burst between the rows of into the meadow. They are running for their lives. CLOSE ON: The rider is a bride -- a beautiful woman dressed in a disheveled wedding gown, its train tattered and flying like a knights banner out behihis is MAGGIE CARPENTER. The horse is frothing and wild-eyed, like the bride, who turns to look behind her in terror. The horses labored breathing mingles with Maggies panicked gasps. We see a WEDDING BOUQUET fly into a ditch as the horse thunders on. Maggie gs to the reins. She looks as though she is running from the devil himself. FADE TO BLACK EXT. IKES APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY Establishing. CUT TO: EXT. IKES APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY - ESTABLISHING SHOT EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY IKE (V.O.) Hey, Fisher, pick up. I have some n ideas I want to bounce off you. Not there? Okay. Listen Im thinking of writing about those mind-numbing informercials that are always on. Ike walks out of his apartment building talking on cell phone. IKE (td) What do you think? Good idea, right? B, down to death, pointless -- It sucks. Ike yells at a STRU WORKER. IKE (td) If you guys are here any longer, theyre gonna make you sign a lease. STRU WORKER Your n should be so funny. Ike turns and walks dowreet, talking into cell phone. IKE Okay, I was also thinking I might write about... He spots a RICH LADY with tons of diamonds getting out of a Limousialking to a CHAUFFEUR. He goes up to her. IKE (td) Excuse me. I was thinking of doing an article on limousines. What would you say to people who never had a ce to drive in a limo? They walk up to her DOORMAN. LADY Im sorry, I dont knoeople like that. Ike walks off. They stare at him as he goes. EXT. ANOTHER NEW YORK STREET - DAY Ikes talking on the phoo his friends mae again. IKE (into phone) Fisher? e on -- I know youre sitting there laughing at me. Pick up. I want to run an idea past you. Ike tinues walking now in the full panic of writers block. He pleads into his friends answering mae as he walks. IKE (td) (into phone) I just could use someoo toss it bad forth with for a few minutes, get the juice flowing, help me. I have an hour and twenty-seven minutes and fifty-two seds. Hello? He walks away from the t-shirt table towards the bar. The Vendor calls out to him. T-SHIRT VENDOR Hey, Ike, when are you going to put me in an article? IKE When your t-shirts stop shrinking. Ike ehe bar. The Woman drops the shirt she was holding and walks off with her children. The T-shirt Vendoes back to selling his shirts. INT. NEW YORK BAR - LATE DAY Ike sits at the bar speaking to an attractive Woman nearby, a MAN puts is USA Today on the bar and addresses the BARTENDER. MAN I see photos of a lot of dead writers on these walls. Got any living ones? I have a story to tell that could win one of them a Pulitzer. (then, with enthusiasm) Picture this, if you will. A small town in Maryland, a sleepy little village, within that a hardware store... The Man tinues speaking as Ike and the woman tiheir versation. WOMAN So whats in store for us in tomorrows n? IKE I dont know yet. Im kind of a last- minute man. Ideas dont flow until an hour or two before deadline. The Womas up and begins throwing darts. WOMAN (interrupting) This is very iing. You get your ideas for your n from life. You start up a versation with a woman in a bar, attack her choice of reading material, try a a rise out of her while you plate whether or not shes worth hitting on. IKE No, I t hit on you until I get an idea. She starts throwing darts. WOMAN Thats flattering. IKE No, you dont uand. The Womao her bar stool, gathering her bag and leaves a tip for the Bartender. WOMAN I think I do uand. So my not responding to your baiting me will inspire one of those potential bitter diatribes you love to write about women and all the things we do to drive men crazy? IKE (taken aback) I dont write bitter diatribes about women... very often. She whacks him with a neer, then shakes his hand. WOMAN Only when the ideas arent flowing, huh? Well, it was very o meet you, one-minute man. The Woman leaves the bar. IKE (as she exits) Thats last minute man. (then, louder) And its the quality that ts. BARTENDER You know, food looking man, you strike out a lot. MAN Ive seen much worse. The phs. Te Bartender answers it as Ike sits ba his bar stool. Ike grabs the womans magazihat she left on the bar and starts glang at it. The Man at the bar has heard the whole thing. MAN (td) I said, Ive seen much worse. Ike looks at the Man with reservation. The Man is Gee Swilling. IKE Excuse me? MAN The brush-off. Ike gets up and moves to the dart board. He removes the darts. MAN (td) Ive witnessed far more treacherous and nefarious exits than that. At least she castigated you in private. IKE Not as private as I thought. Ike turns slightly, giving the man his back. IKE (td) Kevin, youve got some napkins? BARTENDER Writing or wiping? IKE Give me a pen. The Bartender gives him cocktail napkins and a pen. Ike starts making notes. Ike looks up from his writing. The Mas up and starts throwing darts. MAN (throwing darts hard) Ah, e on. They deserve it. They love you, they hate you, theyre hot, theyre cold, theyre high, theyre low... IKE ... Theyre up, theyre down. Its really fun making this list with you, but Ive got a n to go write. BARTENDER Ike. MAN (uerred) But you dont have a really superb idea! Well, theres a girl from my hometown you could write about. Ike moves to the Bartender and pays him. BARTENDER (to Man) Excuse me, we dont need any new ideas. MAN She likes to dump groht at the altar. They call her "The Runaway Bride". Both Ike and Barteurn and stare. MAN She performed the travesty seven or eight times. Right at the altar she turns around and runs like hell. Bolts. Ike turns and heads for the door. The Man calls after him, getting up from his stool without stopping his enthusiastic story. MAN (td) Adios. Plows down the aisle, knog old ladies out of her way like the running of the bulls at Pamplona. And guess what? IKE I give up. MAN She has the victim all lined up. Shes twirling another body on the spit. Ike stops in his tracks. He turns back around in spite of himself. MAN (beginning his story) Imagine if you will, a small town in Maryland... CUT TO: INT. IKES APARTMENT - DUSK Ike sits at his puter, cassette player with Miles Davis PLAYS o him as he types away reading his handiwork to himself. IKE (reading) "Today is a day of profound introspe, I have been accused of using this n to direct bitter diatribes at the opposite sex! This unfortable accusation has plunged me into at least fifteen minutes of serious refle, from which I have emerged with the clusion that, yes -- I traffi female stereotypes." EXT. USA TODAY OFFICE - DAY FISHER walks through the main office reading the paper. FISHER "But how one blame me when every time I step out my front door I meet fresh proof that the female archetypes are alive and well? Te mother, the virgin, the whore, the e; theyre elbowing you in the subway, stealing your cabs, and overwhelming you with perfume iors." INT. USA TODAY OFFICE - TINUOUS Elai her desk reads aloud to herself. ELAINE "But perhaps, in fairo the fairer sex, I do o broaden my horizon and add some new goddesses to the pantheon: I would like to nominate for deity..." Fisher hands a file to Elaine. FISHER "... The cheerleader, the coed, and the maer, the last of which s me most today." Fisher leaves and we hold a USA Today sign. CUT TO: INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY The Man es out of the mens room reading the USA Today, Kevin, the Bartender, stands on the bar reading the same article. MAN (reads) "To be fair, the maer isnt exactly new. In A Greece, this fearsome female was known as Erinys, the dev death goddess. In India, she is Kali, who likes to devour her boyfriend Shivas entrails while her yoni devour his -- dot dot dot, never mind. In Indonesia, the bloody-jawed maer is called Ragma..." Te Man sits at the bar o the Bartender. BARTENDER You noticed these are all tries without cable. (then, tinues reading) "... And in Hale, Maryland where she helps run the family hardware store. She is known as Miss Maggie Carpenter ..." (mispronounces) ".... AKA, the Runaway Bride." CUT TO: EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY WORKERS read the above article. I. BEAUTY PARLOR / HALE, MARYLAND - DAY PEGGY and MRS. PRESSMA the parlor and stroll down the street. (lowers her paper and reads.) PEGGY (td) "... And in Hale, Maryland where she helps run the family hardware store." (to the Women) We have to go to Maggie. dy, mind the shop. (exits salon; tinues reading) "... She is known as Miss Maggie Carpenter, AKA, the Runaway Bride." MRS. PRESSMAN Holy moly. The older one, Mrs. Pressman, listens with a pained expression as the younger one, Peggy, tio read the n aloud. her one believe what theyre reading. PEGGY (reads) "What is unusual about Miss Carpenter is that she likes to dress her men up as grooms before she devours them. She has already disemboweled six in a row by leaving them at the altar."... I t ready anymore. MRS. PRESSMAN (takes paper from her, reads) "And her ritual feast tinues as she prepares to make a sacrifice out of the seventh fiance. So all bets are on and we hope that this b bride isnt honeymooning with Las Vegas odds makers because many predict that this girl is out of there before the race... before the rice hits the ground" (then) Holy moly. Peggy and Mrs. Pressman step into a hardware store. INT. HARDWARE STORE - TINUOUS Peggy and Mrs. Pressmaer, worried. MRS. PRESSMAN You tell Maggie. PEGGY No, you tell her. MRS. PRESSMAN No, no. Youre her best friend. PEGGY No. MRS. PRESSMAN (holding her neer) You know, its just possible that she hashis yet. PEGGY Yeah. MRS. PRESSMAN Maybe she hashe paper... On the ter, they see a copy of USA Today opeo the article about Maggie. MRS. PRESSMAN (td) ... Or not! We follow MAGGIE down the back stairs ihe Hale Hardware Store, the prettiest, most weling shop of its kind anywhere in small town USA. Somehow the place ha taken on the spirit of the owners daughter; both stop and shop-girl radiate brightness, charm, and possibility. Maggie es down steps with a faucet handle and goes to an elderly er, MR. PAXTON. MAGGIE (bright) Here we go! Oique hot water hah the "HOT" still on it, guarao fit any Ameri Standard cast iron tub with a four-inch ter made between 1924 and 1938. In other words, I think youre out of the doghouse with Mrs. Paxton. MR. PAXTON (amazed) Hallelujah. MAGGIE Alright, Mr. Paxton, Ill put it on your at. Maggie rounds the bend, another er, EARL, stands by the paint mae. EARL Maggie. MAGGIE (walking past er) You dont need an air ditioner, Earl, you just need an atti -- Theres more in the back. Maggie steps behind the front ter of the store and takes the at book out. Her voice trails off as she sees the dour expression on the faces of her friends. MAGGIE (td) What? Peggy nervously mentions the neer. PEGGY (delicate) So -- Mag -- youve seen this, huh? MAGGIE (serious) Yes, Ive seen it. And I have to say its the rudest and most offensive... joke anybodys ever played on me! To their amazement, Maggie starts smiling. MAGGIE (td) You guys! How long did this take you? Maggie stays amused. MAGGIE (td) Whered you get this done? (laughing) You creeps! I should disinvite you! And why did you say seven times? This is four. PEGGY Uh, Maggie, you told us to bachelorette jokes, so we didnt... Maggie looks at the stri face of her friends. MRS. PRESSMAN Holy moly. Peggy looks like she is going to cry with sympathy fgie. Maggie is starting to feel unfortable. She looks down, dubiously, at the paper. MAGGIE Um, you know, now would be a good moment to tell me this is fake. (no response) It wont be funny if y it out. Okay? (no response) Okay, well... I mean, I find out... Real neers smear. Phoney papers dont. She picks up the paper and brushes it against her apron, leaving an INK SMEAR!! She nearly kneels over. MAGGIE (td) (sitting) Bag. Peggy and Mrs. Pressman immediately spring to her side. They give her a bag to breathe in. MRS. PRESSMAN Bag. CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES WORKOUT ROOM/GYM - NIGHT We see Maggie kickboxing in ahe radio is on. She suddenly stops, yanks Ikes article off the wall, leaves her workout area and goes to her desk. ANGLE ON DESK AREA: She turns off the radio and begins to type her letter. MAGGIE (V.O.) "Dear Editor..." EXT. MANHATTAN - DAY - ESTABLISHING SHOT As Maggies VOICE-OVER tio read her letter, we take in a Manhattan busy day. It is big, loud, and anonymo99lib?us. MAGGIE (V.O.; td) "Greeting from the sticks! Perhaps you believe that a rural education is focused mainly on hog calling and traainteher than reading. Why else would you print a piece of fi about me and call it fact?" Te CAMERA FINDS Ike, striding across a busy street, dodging taxies. A WOMAN smacks him with a neer. He passes a WOMAN TRAFFIC OFFICER, then a hot dog stand. He greets and passes a FALAFEL VENDOR. THE CAMERA PANS to a USA Today Truck. MAGGIE (V.O.; td) "I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy thinking us slanderous statements about how I dump men for kicks to bother with something silly like accura rep. Which is uandable, because with a "maer" like me on the loose, who has time to check facts?" EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCKS - TINUOUS He passes regular GUYS who cheer him. MAGGIE (V.O.; td) "Still, we ibalistic queens get pretty ky when we see t
hings in print that hurt our feelings, like that we deliberately abandon fiances with malice aforethought." INT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCKS - TINUOUS He ehe neer building, going to Ellies office. INT. USA TODAY OFFICE - TINUOUS He walks through the crowded city room. His arrival attracts a lot of attention from his CO-WORKERS. Ike seems a little surprised, but hes pleased. MAGGIE (V.O.; td) "Thats why I was surprised to find Mr. Grahams editor was a woman. Call me a seal fool, but I sort of hoped we maer could stick together." Ike works his way down the hall to the editors office. CHUFFA Ike greets various workers. He steps up to the editors secretary, ELAINE. She doesnt smile. IKE (to Elaine) Ill put in a good word for you. ELAINE No, no, doion my name in there. IKE Why? A buzz. ELAINE You go in now. Ike goes into Ellies office. Elaine picks up her phone. CUT TO: INT. ELLIES OFFICE - TINUOUS ELLIE is that editor. Stylish and successful looking, shes about Ikes age. Ellie sits behind a big desk with a scowl on her pretty face. Her casual-looking husband, Fisher, sits nonchalantly on the arm of the couch. Ike enters as Ellie reads Maggies letter. ELLIE (readier) "Anyway, Im just dropping you big city folk this little o say that I have thought of a ritual sacrifice that would satisfy my current appetite: Ike Grahams n on a platter. Yours truly, Maggie Carpenter. P.S. -- I have inclosed a list of the gross factual misrepresentations in your article. There are fifteen." Ike sits as Ellie puts the letter down and takes off her glasses. IKE (chuckles as he sits) Fully. I like her. She has wit. ELLIE I left four messages. You dourn my calls. IKE So? I never returned your calls, even when we were married. And whats Fisher doing here anyway? Fisher gets and places a photo of the cat on a bookshelf on his way to the other side of the room. FISHER Ellie asked me to e down to offer moral support. IKE Since when does Ellie need moral supp-- ELLIE -- Its for you, Ike. IKE What? ELLIE Journalism lesson number one. If you fabricate your facts, you get fired. Ellie pushes USA Today lawyers letter across the desk for him to read. Ike picks it up and skims the letter. His face is as impassive as stone. IKE Lesson wo. Never work for your former spouse. ELLIE Thats not nothing to do with it. You cooked this story up and you know it. IKE I didnt cook up a story. I had a source. ELLIE Someone reliable, Im sure. A booze- hound in a bar? FISHER In vias. IKE Dont knock drunk guys in bars. Drunk guys in bars are good. It means theyre not driving. Ike gets up and stands near Ellie, making his point. IKE (td) Besides, Im a nist. This is what nists are supposed to do. This is what you like. We push, we stretch, we go out on a limo. Thats what makes me good! ELLIE No, thats what makes you unemployed. IKE I merely write the stuff. Youre the ohat serves it up. Ike puts dowter and puts his glasses bato his pocket. ELLIE Not anymore. I have to draw the line. (pushing a piece of paper) She sent us this list. Our lawyers say its aable. Ellie hands Ike Maggies list. IKE (scoffs) Lawyers. (gla list) I dont know, Ellie -- Firing me is going to be very tough on you. Its going to be hard to get over. There will be therapy bills for you. ELLIE (shrugs) I already made an appoi for later today. IKE (putting the list down, standing) See? You want custody of my job? ... Why not just sider my wrist slapped and call me when you.99lib. feel Ive served my time? ELLIE Im sorry, Ike. This is perma. Fisher winces and looks away. Ike and Ellie look at each other for a sober moment. ELLIE (V.O.; td) If you go quietly, Ill get you severance pay. Ellie fidgets with her toy rake, then Ike heads for the door. He laughs a little at the painful truth of her words and walks out. Ellie collapses ba her chair. Fisher goes to her and rubs her shoulders. EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY Ike rides sadly on the back of a forklift, gets off and walks out. EXT. HALE RESIDENTIAL STREET - ANOTHER M ANGLE ON MAGGIES HOUSE: A train goes by. A modest clapboard house with a porch. Two entrances. A PAPERBOY tosses a paper onto the lawn in front of the house. The front door opens and Maggie appears fresh out of bed, wearing only a jacket and panties. Heedless of being seen this way, she scampers out to the sidewalk to pick up her delivered paper: USA Today. She tears off the plastic bag and rips into it, looking for her letter. She finds it. A smile on her face, then she scampers bato the house. INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - THAT MOMENT Maggie skips bato her house which she shares with Father and Grandma. A cozy and eclectic place creatively furnished on a shoe-string. She rushes into: KIT WHERE BOB KELLY, fiance #4, is pag s into a backpack. Bob, 38, has a pleasant fad a body that is almost shogly buff. Hes wearing a T-shirt that reads: "Mountaineers Do It Against the Wall.", Maggie dances over, waving the paper and singing. MAGGIE She ed him, she ed him... Bob test the weight of the backpack adding dehydrate food. BOB e here, Mag, and try this on. Maggie puts the paper o ter and starts to read aloud, paying no mind to Bob, who is stig her arms through the straps of the backpack. MAGGIE Listen: "Dear Ms. Carpenter, I apologize to you for this unfortunate matter. Ike Grahams n will no longer be appearing in this paper. Best of lu you uping marriage!" Bob tio hold up the weight of the backpack as he straps it onto Maggies shoulders. BOB That-a-girl! You sacked him. (cheg pack) This is the weight of the pack youre going to have to carry in the Himalayas. Tell me if its too heavy. Bob lets go and Maggie FALLS BACKWARD, disappearing behind the ter, and hitting the floor, with a THUD. Bob looks down at her. Maggies voice rises from the floor behind the ter. MAGGIE (o.s.) Its a little... Its a little heavy... Help me, baby. Bob has no answer. He reaches a hand down. He yelps as Maggie pulls him down on top of her, out of frame. We HEAR them giggle and kiss. INT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - ANOTHER DAY Fisher uses the dock for a photo shoot featuring men and women in evening and formal wear from Escada f.Q. Fisher is not actually shooting the camera, but rather supervising it. Fisher claps his hands and calls the models to attention. Then he goes onto the stage ahe models in their positions. FISHER (td) Remember, utting the "fun" back into formal. (to Ike) I just say that for the agency guys. I dont even know what that means. Now follow me. INT. USA TODAY OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY Elevator doors open. Ike and Fisher exit and walk towards the coffee table. FISHER Ike, I really liked the Runaway Bride piece, and since I do freelauff f.Q., Im in a different position now... IKE What are y to say to me, Fish? They stop walking. FISHER Vindication. How would you like to get some? A ce to prove that, though your facts wereirely straight, your theory was correct. IKE (hiding his hope) The real story on Miss Carpenter. FISHER All the gory details. They start walking again. IKE (excited) The anatomy of the black widow spider of Maryland. FISHER It wouldnt be a bad way to get you bato writiure pieces again. IKE (enthusiastically) This is good. It is a good story, Fish. They stop at the coffee table and grab something to eat. FISHER (nods) If she runs, then its a cover story. All true. All accurate. IKE (fesses) Okay, you were right. I hated my n, but I do this assig. FISHER Then youve got it. If you leave tomorrow for the hinterlands, youll have plenty of time before her wedding trot. IKE "Paid vindication" Thats what I call justice. FISHER Justice, yes. Paid, I dont know. They like the idea, but my hands are tied with budget restraints. IKE But Ill get my normal fee, right? He walks away. IKE You wao do it on spec?! He follows him. CUT TO: EXT. MARYLAND HIGHWAY - DAY We see Ike driving down the highway. The car sputters a little as he and Fisher tiheir versation in voice-over. (If needed by the editor.) FISHER (V.O.) Dont say "spec" like its a dirty word. Nobody ever paid Shakespeare to write a play! Plato never got a book advance... IKE (V.O.) Oh yeah! I happen to know from reliable sources that zche got expenses and a rental car. We hear Fisher laugh. IKE (V.O.; td) Im going to make this work, Fish. Im going to do it! Ikes car drives into Hale, passing a billboard reading, "Wele to Hale." CUT TO: EXT. HALE STREET - DAY Ike drives down picturesque Main Street. He passes Hale Hardware. Sign says: "At Curl. Be back soon." EXT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - DAY A BARBERSHOP QUARTET is singing in front of the only hotel in town. Ike pulls up and goes inside. INT. LOBBY/ATLANTIC HOTEL - DAY Ike has checked into the Atlantic Hotel. The clerk, LEE, hands him his key. Ike asks about room servid the restaurant. An OLDER WOMAN asks him if he plays bridge as he goes up the stairs to his room. EXT. HALE MAIN STREET - DAY Ike exits his hotel as the Barber Shop Quartet finishes singing "Camptown Races." He now walks down the charming main artery of the town, looking exactly like what he is: a iew York out of his element on sunny Main Street, USA. KIDS ride by on bikes, streaming balloons behind them. A balloon hits Ike on the face. As he crosses the street, he mutters into his tape recorder: IKE I think Im in Maryberry. Flags hang on all the storefronts and the place sparkles with wholesome attitudes as PEOPLE greet each other familiarly. Ike es to beauty parlor called "Curl Up and Dye". The place is doing business and crowded with WOMEN. INT. BEAUTY PARLOR - DAY dy, the manicurist, does Mrs. Pressmans nails. Maggie sits on the floor o Peggys salon chair, fixing the base of a barber chair. She tightens a screw and looks up, satisfied. dys dog is on the floor near Maggie. MAGGIE dy, you better 86 Sprout. He seems to be enjoying the petroleum distillates. dy rolls over in her chair, picks up her dog and rolls back to her station. DY Thats it. Back to obedience school. MAGGIE (to Peggy) Okay -- have a seat... gently, carefully. Peggy sits in the chair. Maggie spins her around and around. PEGGY (delighted as she spins) Youre a goddess! MAGGIE I didnt eveo ge this gasket, just put in a little hydraulic fluid. PEGGY Stop it. When you talk like that, I get turned on and it frightens me. JUST THEN. Ike ehe salon, taking off his sunglasses. Peggy hops off the chair. IKE Hello. Im looking fgie Carpehere was a sign at the hardware store across the street... PEGGY Are you a reporter? Its a little early in the game for Ike to be thrown off guard. IKE (shocked) What? PEGGY (eyeing his loafers) Its been our experiehat anyone with some sort of gewgaw on his loafers ends up being an city reporter wanting to interview Maggie. IKE About her uping wedding and all. PEGGY No, about her getting that asshole from New York fired. Ike smiles down at his loafers and shrugs. IKE I am just such a reporter. And you are? PEGGY Peggy Phleming. Not the ice skater. Peggy steps aside. Ike moves toward dy and Mrs. Pressman. IKE And who are these lovely ladies? Te ladies shake his hand and introduce themselves. DY dy. Maggies unmarried cousin. MRS. PRESSMAN Mrs. Pressman. ion. PEGGY And you are? IKE (turning toward her) Looking fgie. PEGGY Yep. Maggie -- Someoo see you. Maggie looks over from her sitting position on the floor. She gives Ike the once-over, fog on the shoes. MAGGIE (yelling to Peggy) Reporter? PEGGY Yup! Ike crouches to see Maggie on the floor just as she rises to her feet. Ike straightens up. For a moment, he is thrown by her beauty and intelligent eyes. MAGGIE I hope you have a different angle. Its pretty much all been covered. IKE inality is my speciality. MAGGIE Excellent. PEGGY Hold on -- Nobody interviews Maggie in here uheyre getting haircut. MAGGIE Shes the boss. IKE Sorry, no. I just got one. MRS. PRESSMAN (to Ike) Excuse me, sir. I have an actual fact for you. IKE (steps to Mrs. Pressman) Yes, Mrs. Pressman. MRS. PRESSMAN Its her fourth time to the altar, you know. Not seven like they said. IKE I know. Tell me something. Do you think shes going to make it all the way this time? During the Ike/Mrs. Pressman exge, Maggie looks at Ike. Theres something familiar about him. She looks over at Peggy and bes her to a copy of Ikes n affixed to a mirror. A goatee and horns, have been scrawled on Ikes byline picture. Hes been "devilized". Peggy coughs as she reizes Ike in the neer clipping. MAGGIE She swallowed her gun. Mrs. Pressman tinues her story to Ike. MRS. PRESSMAN Im not sure. Mr. Schullian runs the and, hes our local bookie, you know, hes givi to one odds she wont. He says shes so famous now, maybe Vegas will give odds on her. Im going to wait to hear what the pros say. IKE Good fact. Well, you let me know. MRS. PRESSMAN Oh, I will. ANGLE ON: Maggie indicates n to Peggy. She looks over at the part of the shop used to wash and dye hair. Theres a sink, stool and a et affixed to the wall above sink, which holds various shampoos and hair dyes. Maggie gets an idea. Maggie and Peggy step forward toward Ike. MAGGIE Well, instead of a haircut, how about a wash? You know, get all that city grit out of it. IKE Youll answer my questions? Maggie nods affirmatively. IKE (td) (removing his jacket) Fine. You wash, Ill ask the questions. PEGGY Great. Ike hands Peggy his jacket. A mystified Peggy leads Ike to the sink. While she does this... MAGGIE Have a seat. Peggy, why dont you give him the special treatment that strehe follicles. Ike sits in the chair he sink. Maggie shakes out a smock and puts it around Ike. MAGGIE (td) So, what do you want to know? Ike leans as his head on the sink. Peggy bends over him as his hair. She grabs various hair c products. IKE Getting nervous? MAGGIE Nervous? Not at all! No. Ive never been more certain in my life. Except -- I am having all kinds of weird dreams. Ike pulls the cloth down from over his face. IKE Weird dreams? Yoing to tell me about them? MAGGIE Yes. PEGGY (calming) Lets just put this back here for the aromatherapy. Peggy recovers his face, then tio fuss with the hair c products. Maggie helps. INT. BEAUTY PARLOR - LATER Ike sits with a towel over his head as Peggy blow-dries the back of his head. His back is to the mirror, his body faces Maggie. dy does her own nails as Mrs. Pressman scratches off lottery tickets. The dog, Sprout, sits in is basket. MAGGIE In another one... PETE, wearing a hat, es in the front door of the salon. PEGGY Hey, Pete, Ill be right with you. Ike peeks out from under his towel as Maggie tinues. MAGGIE Im ihe church. Everyone I know is there, only theyre not really them. Theyre like Fraein monsters, but without the bolts ing out of their necks. Its all very "Night of the Living Dead". And heres the creepiest part -- I look down at my dress and its red. I mean, I have no idea what it means. Reds not my color! Ike listens ily and stares steadily into her eyes. Peggy removes the towel. His hair is divided into equal parts and dyed e and red. MAGGIE (td) So what do you think? Ike stares back at her, the tickle of suspi creeping up his spine. IKE I think youd look good in red. PEGGY No, shes talking about your hair. Maggie swivels his chair so that Ike faces the mirror. Ike looks at his brightly colored hair. MAGGIE Youre all ready for football season, Mr. Graham. Ike stares at his hair in total fusion. With icy calm, Ike rises from his chair and primps the end of his hair as if giving it the finishing touches. Then he sees his defaeer clipping and all bees clear. He picks up the article and shows it to everyone. Ike does a slow burn. IKE Yes, I think I he personality profile of the women of Hale. Ike turns and puts the clipping up on the mirror. IKE (td) (to Peggy) My jacket, please. Peggy hands him his jacket. IKE (td) (sarcastically) Thank you. Ike moves toward the door. He spots Pete. IKE (td) (putting on jacket; to Pete) Excuse me, Pete, do you knolace that sells shampoo... Strong shampoo? PETE Docs Pharmacy. Third and Elm. Tell him Pete sent you. Want my hat? IKE No thanks. Ike smiles at Maggie as. MAGGIE (to Peggy) He seems crabby. CUT TO: EXT. MAIN STREET - DAY In front of beauty salon, Maggie follows Ike out. MAGGIE If youre looking for Elm Street, its that way. She puts on her sunglasses. IKE Thank you. He walks the other way. MAGGIE If you came down here in the pursuit of happiness, you might as well go back. Because you t make me feel bad. She stops walking and turns to Ike. IKE Im not here to make you feel bad. Im here for vindication. In my heart... MAGGIE You have one? Ike walks baaggie. IKE I feel Im right about you. You got me fired, lady. You destroyed my reputation and you screwed up my hair. You chew men up, spit them out and loved it. And Im dowo satisfy myself on that point. PASSERSBY stare at Ikes hair and giggle. MAGGIE Did something happen to make you care about reality? IKE Yes. vi. vi that Im onto the truth. Yoing to do the same thing to "poor bastard number four" that you did to the last three. Youre going to run again. And Im not leaving until you do. MAGGIE Yoing to be very disappointed. IKE Well see. MAGGIE Id love to stay and chat, but Ive got to get back to work. I still have my job. He stares at her for a beat, stung by her words. MAGGIE I have nothing to hide, Mr. Graham. Talk to whoever you want. You might actually stumble upon a fact or two. Maggie walks away. Ike walks a few steps and stops at a KID on a bike. IKE Hey, kid, Ill give you ten bucks for your hat. Kid agrees. Ike puts the hat on and starts to cross the street. An OLD WOMAN walks by and hits him with a neer. Ike is stunned. EXT. MAGGIES HOUSE - DUSK Maggie pulls into the driveway iruck. Shes in a fine mood as she walks right in the house. INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - DUSK Bob, Walter, and Maggies GRANDMOTHER JULIA sit in the living room. Grandma is sewing one of Maggies wedding veils. Walter drinks wine, Ike wears a hat. WALTER You know, when I only see one dog, I know Ive had too much to drink. Te family dog, Skipper, sits near a ceramic dog table. Maggie smiles as she walks in the front door and puts dowool box and bag. MAGGIE Youll never guess who came crawling into town with his tail between his legs. IKE (o.s.) Who? Maggie ehe parlor to see Ike smiling evilly from his seat on the couch. IKE (td) (ily) Hello, Maggie. I just came by to apologize to your family. (looks to Walter) When Im wrong, Im wrong. I pushed a story. I made a mistake. WALTER In other words -- hes only human. An he brought us a bottle of wine. Raises the bottle to Maggie. IKE They made me put my hat ba. WALTER Oh, yeah. Scared the hell out of Skipper. MAGGIE Youve got to be kidding me. Maggie stares at them both. BOB (enjoying the moment) No, no, you should have seen Skipper. (then, imitates growling) It wasnt that funny. Maggie gives him a look that says, "You are not absolved." She smiles stiffly, looking back at Ike. She then sits on the arm of Bobs chair and puts her arm on his shoulder. MAGGIE So, the forces of good and evil have already met. Maggie takes the witle from the table o Walter. She snaps a look to Bob, who follows her. BOB Ill help you take into the kit. GRANDMA JULIA Che the crabs, Bob. We overhear them murmuring in aones about the wedding plans as they exit... Walter puts down his drink. IKE Gee, I hope they dont have a fight out there. You dont think theyll call it off...? WALTER Well, wedding cake freezes. This we know. IKE You know, your daughter seems... Ike notices that hes beeo the veil. GRANDMA JULIA Sorry. IKE Thats okay, Grandma. Grandma cuts the thread and separates the veil from Ikes sleeve. IKE (td) (tinuing his thought) ... Like such a lovely girl. Walter points to a portrait painting on the wall. WALTER Like her mother. IKE (seeing the portrait) Ah, beautiful. (gets up to admire the portrait) I just t see her leaving multiple grooms in the dust like that. GRANDMA JULIA Oh, yes, you . Shes has em all on tape. IKE She has a tape? WALTER (good-natured) Yeah. Lee at the hotel videos wedding. I mean Maggie didnt know she was going to make the hundred-yard dash. Walter gestures to a pile of video cassettes on the bookcase. Ike checks oapes. IKE Dads fishing trip, Grandmas knee operation, Grandmas birthday... WALTER Gotta tell you this about my daughter. My daughter makes real good time, even in a long dress and heels. Maggie may not be Hales lo running joke, but she certainly is the fastest. Walter cracks up. GRANDMA JULIA (sarcastically) Ha ha. CLOSE ON: A tape. It reads: "Maggie I, II, III." Ikes i is more than piqued. Ike picks it up. They get up and go to the dining room. DISSOLVE TO: INT. DINNING ROOM/MAGGIES HOUSE - NIGHT The family dog, Skipper, steals food from the table. Walter scolds him. Walter whacks his crab with his hammer and Ike copies him. WALTER (td) Emma and I were only blessed with one child, not for lag . MAGGIE This is good, Dad, dont leave anything out. Ikes hammer flies out of his hand. He goes to pick it up. WALTER So Ive e to see it as a bonus, really, that weve been able to plan, and pay for, so many weddings. MAGGIE Not this ohis ones on me. Walter reacts. IKE Thats fair. MAGGIE Despite what you think, I dont do it on purpose. And I have no iion of doing it again. BOB Thats right, Maggie. Just keep your eye on the ball. Ike raises his eyebrows iion. Bob explains. BOB (td) Sports psychology. It was my major in college. IKE Ahh. BOB (false modesty) Im the towns unofficial fitness trainer. Big advocate of the mind and body bining for success. You could say or you quote me, Im a glass half full king of guy. MAGGIE (boasting) Bobs the head of the P.E. department at the high school. And he coaches the football team. And hes climbed Everest. To Maggies satisfa, Ike shoots Bob a look of begrudging respeobody whos been up Everest is a total . IKE (impressed) Everest. Is that right? MAGGIE Twice... IKE Really? MAGGIE (stig it to Ike) Without oxygen... BOB My girl likes t about me. Bob and Maggie kiss Ike two little love-birds. BOB (td) Im takirekking on Annapurna on our honeymoon. Ike is highly amused. IKE How romantic. MAGGIE (sharply) We think so. IKE Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed with two Sherpas and a yak. Walter cracks up, Maggie shoots Ike a look. He smiles back. CUT TO: INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM/INT. FISHER AND ELLIES BEDROOM (NYC) I TELEPHONE VERSATION Fisher and Ellie are exerg. Fisher is on a cycle mae. Ellie does yoga stretches. Ike sits ba the couch, puts on his glasses and watches a video taped wedding playing oV s. Superimposed titles read "Brian Norris wedding." IKE (to Fisher; into phone) You wont believe what Im looking at, Fisher. A videotape of all three train wrecks. THE TV - CLOSE Two flirls and Peggy enter a crowded church where the groom, Brian, and his best man wait at the altar. Now we see Maggie e down the aisle, then ast the altar. We see Maggie move away another aisle and out of the church. SHOCKED WEDDING GUESTS rise in horror, as she runs from this first wedding. She drags the train boy up the sed aisle as she leaves. Ike hangs up. He gets up to pick up the remote and then sits back down to watch. The tape fast-forwards to the wedding. Now Ike is looking at a much more relaxed, hipper, backyard wedding. It says, "Gill Chavez Wedding". He hits the fast-forward button (sometimes slowing down). ON TV: We see the Carpenters backyard. It is Gill and Maggies wedding day. The yard is crowded with a MIXTURE of Hells Aypes, Deadheads and townspeople. The "altar" is a band platfainst the back fence. Gill is waiting on the platform with a robo playing Grateful Dead-type music. He makes an introductory speech. Maggie steps out onto the back porch. Shes beautiful in a hippie-type wedding ensemble. She walks with her father to a trampoline. We see her tattoo. She jumps orampoline, then dives into the crowd. They watch her and body surf her over their heads to the back fence. As she hits the stage, she looks at Peggy and Gill, then decides to go. She jumps off the stage and runs up to a passing GUY on a dirt bike. She jumps on and turns and waves as she rides away. During the video, Ike scribbles: "Gill Chavez". Maggie goes off on dirt bike. The tape fast-forwards to the last of Maggies fiascoes. OV He now sees the third wedding. Its outdoors, in a tree lined area, MUSIS plays. Ike laughs as he discovers that Maggie approaches the altar on horseback, in a simple white dress, wearing a of flowers. The Maid Marian look. Ike slows the tape. ON TV: IT SAYS, "GEE SWILLING WEDDING". As Maggie rides down the aisle, suddenly the horse whinnies! Maggie has kicked it in the shins. It rears and bolts, galloping off with the bride. Ike FREEZE FRAMES the tape on an image of Maggie, hair blowing. Although she is panic-stri, her soul seems to shihrough in tat single frame. As Ike stares at her, the smirk fades from his face. He just looks at her, allowing himself to see her expression, her eyes. He t help it. She gets to him. Ike gets a restless look on his face. He stares closely. The groom is Gee from the bar. IKE Kamikaze! CUT TO: EXT. TE TROUT BAKERY - THE DAY Establishing. High angle wide shot of a bakery in Hale. Ike exits a neighb shop and walks down the block. He pauses in front of the bakery to take a look at Maggies truck. As he does, a middle-aged BlaAN walks by and whacks him with a neer. Ike is stunned as she walks off. He turns to a MAN sitting on a bench. IKE Did you see that? CUT TO: INT. THE TROUT BAKERY - TINUOUS CLOSE ON a group of plastis and brides on a ter top. MRS. TROUT is behind the ter helping Maggie with a sele of grooms for her wedding cake. The groom figures are spread out on the ter. All sizes and colors, some attached to brides, some solo, some tuxes, some in dinner jackets. MRS. TROUT This ones very popular, but oh, youve used this one before... Brian. But I like the white dinner jacket. MAGGIE No, hes no good. Too blond. MRS. TROUT (picks up another) Well go with total traditional. MAGGIE Too dark. Then, Ike es up behind her as she discards anroom. IKE But hes got the Bobsters eyes. Maggie ges at the sound of Ikes voice. IKE (td) No -- the Bobsters eyes are closer set. She ignores him and tinues her search. IKE (td) (to Mrs. Trout) Could I have two coffees, please? And what is that wonderful smell? (seeing the amon rolls) Ill have two of those delicious looking amon rolls. MRS. TROUT Sure. (pig up a miniature bride) Here, Maggie. I think this makes the best you. Mrs. Trout steps away to get his order. Ike moves to the other side of Maggie and picks up the bride and groom figure. IKE Lets see... Excuse me, isnt that cute? Ahh... He makes the bride figure repeatedly knock the groom figure in the head and run away screaming. IKE (td) Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam! Oh, help me! Help me! Yup! Thats her all right. Mrs. Trout just about bursts a gut laughing. Maggie takes the bride from Ike coldly. MRS. TROUT You must be that Mr. Graham fellow. Ike turns and goes to her. IKE Yes, I am. And who are you? MRS. TROUT Betty Trout. Five dollars. IKE (as he pays) Oh, Betty. I take it yoing to be making the wedding cake and they say youre throwing -- MRS. TROUT (interrupting) -- The luau fgie. She starts pig lint off his sleeve and buttons his cuff. MAGGIE (all smiles for Mrs. Trout) Grandma made me the cutest outfit. I t wait to show it to you. IKE (ical delight) A pre-wedding luau? MRS. TROUT Yes. My husband and I love luaus. Itll be fun. Mrs. Trout turns and grabs Ikes bag taining two coffees. IKE Fun? Fun isnt the word. Mrs. Trout beams. Maggie uands his answer a little better. Mrs. Trout hands Ike his items and he pays. MRS. TROUT If youre still in town, you should stop by. MAGGIE No, Im sure he doesnt. IKE (to Mrs. Trout) Actually, I would love to e. (taps her service bell) Thank you. Thank you so much. Maggie steps over, carrying her bride and groom figure choices. MAGGIE (exasperated) Is that what yoing to do now? Follow me around everywhere I go? Ike smiles at Maggie enigmatically as he picks up his order and heads for the door. IKE No. He starts to leave with his bag. Mrs. Trout stops him. MRS. TROUT (handing him the ) Your two amon rolls. IKE Bye, Betty. Thanks. He leaves. MAGGIE Hes not a nice person. Maggie hands Mrs. Trout her bride and broom figures. Maggie looks at Mrs. Trout, suddenly nervous. She dashes out. Mrs. Trout imitates Ike bamming the bride and groom, laughing. CUT TO: EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY Various High School SPORTS TEAMS practice. Maggie strides across the football field, a scowl on her face. A few HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL PLAYERS job past Maggie, doing laps. A boy, KENDALL, calls out to her affeately as she passes. One of them, DENNIS, slows his pace to run alongside Maggie. DENNIS (playful) Maggie, dont marry Coach! Marry me. I love you. MAGGIE Youre jail bait, Dennis. Go away. Run your laps. Go. Go. Dennis runs on as Maggie tioward her goal: Bob and Ike, standing together oher side of the field. ANGLE ON BOB AND IKE Theyre both standing on the blog sled. Wave after wave of VARSITY FOOTBALL PLAYERS ram into the sled and drive it across the field with both Ike and Bob on top of it. Ike is mung on one of the amon rolls as Bob pushes the KIDS. BOB Drive! Drive! From your hips, get low, get low, get low. ! Ike smiles broadly atop of the sled as he sees Maggie approag, looking mighty peeved. He nudges Bob and points to Maggie. Bob lights up at the sight of her. BOB (td) Good job, gentlemen... Special teams. The football players move away from the sled. Bob moves to Maggie, leaves Ike alone. BOB (td) (to Maggie) Hey, honey! Bob kisses and embraces Maggie. She doesnt see Ike immediately, then: MAGGIE (indig Ike) What is he up to now? BOB Ike just came by to check out the team. IKE And talk about you. Ike grins and shows Maggie the notes in his pocket. MAGGIE Bob -- are you making friends with this man? BOB Im just bragging about how great you are. Im the luckiest man alive. Bob grabs Maggie around the waist and smooches her adly. Maggie scowls at Ike. He nods, all charm. IKE Well -- Ive got to get moving -- lot of work to do today! Ill see you two love-birds later. Ike leaves. Bob calls after him. BOB See you at the wedding. IKE You bet ya, Coach. Maggie is aghast. She stares at Bob. Ike joins in behind a line of peppy cheerleaders. MAGGIE At the wedding? You invite him? Bob, dont you realize hes writing another article about me? BOB Sure I do. But the bet defense is a good offense, right? Youre not going to let your oppohrow you off yame. MAGGIE You dont uand this guy. BOB Let him e to the wedding. Youre not running, right? Say it. "Im not..." MAGGIE (irritably) Im not running. BOB So if youre not running and Ike Graham is there to see it, then any article he writes has got to have a happy ending, right? All were doing is turning lemon into lemonade. MAGGIE Ive got news for you. No amount of sugar and water is going to turn like Graham into something you want to take on a piic. Bob gives Maggie a big hug. BOB Wheres that homemade sunshine? Bob blows his whistle, then puts Maggie on the football sled. BOB (td) I want you boys to take my princess on the ride of her life... Hoell em where you parked your car. Maggie screams as the boys push her down the football field. INT. FESSIONAL BOOTH/CHURCH - DAY Maggie kneels, hands folded reverently. The booths grate opens before her. MAGGIE Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. My last fession was... ahh... She tries to recall. MAGGIE (td) ... Anyway, I have sort of a teical question here. Ive been having -- bad thoughts. I mean, really bad thoughts ... PRIEST Of an impure nature? MAGGIE No -- like -- Im having a problem with that whole turher-cheek cept. I want revenge. I want to destroy this guys life, career, everything. On the sin scale, how big is that? I mean, I "Hail Mary" my way out of it? PRIEST Child, any sin in ones heart is... MAGGIE (impatient) The names Maggie. It wasnt this side of ten years ago that you had your tongue down my throat. So dont call me "child", Brian. It annoys me. PRIEST/ BRIAN Now do upset. Brian closes the fessional window as MAGGIE (still inside the booth) Brian, open up. Dont ignore me. Brian leans into her fessional. She steps out to join him. BRIAN Youre not even Catholic, Maggie -- you really shouldnt e to fession. Hes a nice looking ale man. They regard each other for a beat. MAGGIE Im sorry. Im just so stressed out about that slime-ball reporter being in town. I jus had to e warn you he might show up here and start asking you all kinds of ridiculous questions. Brian moves away. Maggie follows and sits in a nearby pew. BRIAN Actually, he only asked me one ridiculous question. The rest werent so bad. MAGGIE (sliding along the pew) What? You talked to him! Did you tell him we dated before you were a priest? BRIAN Yes, yes, Im sure I only did you good, Maggie. MAGGIE What did he ask? A woman, MRS. MURPHY, rushes in. MRS. MURPHY Father, am I too late? BRIAN No, no. MRS. MURPHY It wont take long. Jus two venials. The woman goes into the fessional booth to wait. BRIAN Only respectful things. What did we have in on back then... What kind of music did you like... Did you ruin my life when you left me standing at the altar... MAGGIE And what did you say? BRIAN How could I be angry at you when clearly what has happeo me is as God intended? MAGGIE (relieved) Good ohanks. BRIAN It happens to be how I feel. Brian sits o Maggie. MAGGIE God... Of course. Im sorry -- I mean, Im... (sighs) Brian -- Ive got to go. The mans a lunatic, but I kly where hes goi. BRIAN God bless you, Maggie. She turns to rush out, then stops herself. MAGGIE Oh, wait, my purse. She moves to the fessional, knocks, then speaks to Mrs. Murphy. MAGGIE (td) Excuse me, sorry, fot my purse. Good luck. Maggie closes the booth curtain and turns to Brian. MAGGIE (td) Wait -- what was the ridiculous question he asked? Brian smiles mischievously. BRIAN He wao know how you used to like ys. MAGGIE Weird. Like after all those years you would remem-- She starts to go, then stops iracks as she hears: BRIAN (interrupting) -- Scrambled, with salt, pepper and dill. Same as me. Maggie looks at Brian. Suddenly, she remembers too. MAGGIE (tenderly) Im really sorry that I hurt you, Brian. BRIAN Im happy here, where Im supposed to be. But if you ever bee a Catholic, may I ask you a favor, Maggie? MAGGIE Of course. BRIAN Could your fess to Father Patrick from now on? MAGGIE Of course. And she scampers out. Brian goes bato the fessional. EXT. GILLS GARAGE - DAY Maggie drives up to an old brick firehouse that is now an auto garage. The faded sign reads: "Gills Garage". INT. GILLS GARAGE - DAY Maggie rushes inside and looks around. No one is in sight. Several cars, including a yellow jeep-like car up on a hydraulic lift, are in the funky garage. MAGGIE Gill? Lydia? Gill? A CRASH, ing from the nearby ba, we hear loud muttering in Spanish, then out stumbles GILL CHAVEZ, 34, wearing a grease- stained Grateful Dead tie-dyed T-shirt. He grins triumphantly, worshipfully cradling a CASSETTE TAPE in his hands. GILL Hey -- I found it! Maggie regards her former fiah patient warmth. MAGGIE Found what? Gill looks up and gives Maggie a fond, hazy smile. GILL Mags! Hey, look -- The tape from the Radio City Music Hall cert -- Remember that night I as trying to get Jerry to let me sit in on "Ripple"? He pulls out the cassette from its case. Its broken. The tape is dangling from the cassette. GILL (td) (disappointed) Oh, Ill play it for you. Gill picks up aric GUITAR and starts to play. MAGGIE (shouts over the music) Listen, Gill -- Theres this reporter whos ben making my life a living hell ... If he es by here, dont talk to him. And whatever yo do.... (crosses to Gill) ... Dont show him that picture of me at the cert in San Francisco -- Suddenly, a loud CHUG emanates from the car overhead. MAGGIE (td) What was that? Maggie stops Gill from playing. She shoots her ex an angry glare and moves a lever on the shop wall. With a HUM, the car desds. GILL We went to San Francisco twice. Remember oime we had a flat tire... Which picture? As the hydraulic lift slows, the car is lowered, revealing Ike sitting in the drivers seat. He has been enjoying the photograph hes holding. IKE (feigning shock) Imagine! Maggie Carpeopless in a public arena. (checks photo again) And I see there was a chill in the air. Maggie swipes for the photo, but Ike is faster at pulling it away. MAGGIE Give me that! IKE But the most iing thing here is that I dohe rose tattoo that Ive heard about on your back. Gill takes off his guitar as it down. GILL Ike bet me fifty bucks you dont still have it, Mags. I said "Youre on, man! Maggie loved that thing!" And I could really use fifty bucks. Maggie is spicuously silent. GILL (td) (looking worried) Mags? MAGGIE Im not gonna show you guys anything. I am a soon-to-be-married woman. Now give me that photograph. Maggie seethes. IKE Sure, I would love to give this to you. Just give us one quick ga that rose, and, Ill gladly hand it over. She tries to grab the photo again. Ike pulls it away. MAGGIE Fine. Here. Maggie quickly turns around and pulls down the back of her shirt, revealing the top of her bad a pristine expanse of skin. No tattoo. MAGGIE (td) (turning back around) Satisfied? IKE pletely. Gill is still trying to grasp the meaning of this. GILL Maggie? You got it removed? IKE Gill, Ill go ya double or nothing if was a sti. GILL (dismayed) Maggie? MAGGIE (admitting) Im really, really afraid of needles... It doesnt make me a bad person. Ike laughs. Maggie looks at him with rage. Gill dramatically pulls down the front of his t-shirt. GILL Look. There it is on Gills chest: the rose tattoo. Maggie sighs, pained. Gill shows it to Ike. Ike looks at the tattoo. He shakes his head at Maggie. IKE (sincerely) Look, look, man. I think the man is heartbroken. MAGGIE He is not! Maggie moves the lever on the wall again, sending Ike back up to the ceiling in the car. She grabs the photo from Ike as. GILL I think I am. Gill grabs his guitar and sits. GILL (td) Hey, Ike, what would Jerry do? The hydraulic lift stops moving. Ike leans out. IKE Jerry. Hed play. Hed play... Jerry would play his heart out. Ike sings and taps along in tempo on the side of the car as Gill sings and plays "Ripple". CUT TO: EXT. HOTEL PORCH - DAY, SATURDAY M As Maggie drives into town with Peggy, they see Ike on porch with SHERIFF, POLICE CHIEF and MAIL MAN, all playing instruments as a blues band. Ike is not bad on slide guitar. They all like Ike. Maggie "CHUFFAS" with Peggy and moves on. EXT. SOFTBALL FIELD - LATER THAT DAY CLOSE ON: The slow, loopy pitch of a softball. A bat ects. NEW ANGLE: A big wholesome man, CORY, runs for first base. He just beats out the throw. Bob, ag as umpire, yells, "Safe!" Happy, Cory turns to the stands and waves. ANGLE ON: Maggie and Peggy, cheering loudly. Peggy tries to whoop harder than Maggie, but that would be tough. From firs base, Cory waves back to them. The two women sit back down and Maggie takes back up with their versation. Maggie is still al steamed up. MAGGIE Okay, hes on base. we talk about my life now? -- Ikes going to turn that tattoo stuff into a big deal -- that I was never serious about Gill, blah blah. Hes totally out to get me. PEGGY For what reason? Some personal satisfa? MAGGIE Thats what he says, but if he thinks that I dont realize hes writing another article, then hes an idiot. PEGGY Its probably because you got him fired. MAGGIE (sarcastic) Ya think? PEGGY Not that he doesnt deserve to get fired... Look! Coing for sed!... Sneaky! ANGLE ON: Cory as he runs for sed base and with a slide beats the throw for the force out. The women jump and cheer -- Maggie, again, the most boisterous. ANGLE ON: Dennis reizes Ike as he walks up. Dennis tells Ike that he is going to marry Maggie some day and shows Ike where Maggie is sitting. ANGLE ON: Maggie spots Ike as they sit back down. She groans. MAGGIE There he is. Snoop Doggy-Dogg. PEGGY Where? MAGGIE Over there. Ten oclock. Hes talking to our little Dennis. Dennis will turn into one of those "sources say" things. PEGGY He looks better with that stuff out of his hair. Hes an attractive man. Ike finds Maggie in the crowd and leaves Dennis. MAGGIE Id say youve been in the sun too long. You handle him, okay? I could use five minutes off from that creep. Before Peggy protest, Maggie climbs down off the bleachers and goes and stands he dugout he rest of Corys team. PEGGY Okay, thats fine. I do that. Ike es up to Peggy. IKE Hello, Peggy Phleming, "not the ice-skater". Ike indicates the seat o Peggy. PEGGY (protesting weakly) Thats Maggies seat... Ike sits down fortably. IKE ... And this is Maggies beer. He starts drinking it. ON THE FIELD, Cory is getting ready to steal third. IKE (td) That your husband out there? Cory Phleming, a local radio announcer. PEGGY Have you listeo his m show, "Wake up with ballplayer"? IKE Not yet. I had a phlemless m. I hear hes a pretty good ballplayer. PEGGY This game is pretty important to him. He made all-stars in high school, you know. IKE That must have made you proud. Peggy takes a small sip off her soda. PEGGY He was going with Maggie back then. (quickly) He was never one of her... I mean, they were never going to get... They just dated for a while. Cory dives in for third and makes it. The crowd goes wild. Peggy yells and jumps in. PEGGY (td) Good job, honey! But Maggies whoop sails out above it all. Cory waves. But not at Peggy. He directs his delight at Maggie, who jumps up and down by the dugout. Ike looks between Cory, Maggie and finally, Peggy. Peggy jerks her waving hand back down to her side and sits down. Ike pretends not to have noticed. The two watch as Maggie and Cory smile at each other. IKE Its hat theyre still friends. PEGGY (looking at Maggie and Cory) Oh, sure. That was a long time ago. See, shes not a man-hater at all. Shes very supportive of men... BATTER hits oo deep left field and it lands in the grave yard. Cory scores, greeted by Maggie. Ike and Peggy watch as Cory and Maggie belly-bump and high-five each other in celebration of Corys play. No looks at Peggy. Ike keeps an empathetic silence, seeing that Peggy is truly hurt. PEGGY (td) Ill be ba a sed. Suddenly, Peggy stands, pushes past him and runs doweps. Maggie looks up just in time to catch Peggys exit. Ike pulls his tape recorder out of his pocket and starts speaking into it. Maggie shoots Ike an acg look, walks up to him in the bleachers and sits o him. MAGGIE Youve been here for three minutes. What did you do to her? IKE You turn that finger around. Ike does an oton imitation of Maggie jumpiedly at Cory. Now Maggie sees what hes getting at. MAGGIE (defensive) You misinterpret everything. Weve all been friends our whole lives. But thats the types of relationship you wouldnt uand. IKE Obviously, Im not the only one who doesnt uand it. The USS Maggie leaves quite a wake... Excuse me. Ike walks away. Alone, Maggie tries to seem enthused. MAGGIE See, I cheer good. What is he, a cheer critic? EXT./INT. STREET/BAR - LATER - DUSK Sitting in front of Inn Hale Bar, we see the BARTENDER pantomiming holding the reins of a wildly galloping horse. Weve seen something like this before. Maggies wild ride away from her last wedding. Ike laughs with Bartender just as Maggie drives by the bar ahis. MAGGIE (to herself) This guy ops. INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - NIGHT Maggie walks up to the front desk of the hotel, where Lee is sleeping with his feet up. She knocks his feet off the ter. MAGGIE Lee, hey, wake up. Give me the key to the reporters room. I want to snoop around. LEE (handihe key) Okay. Sed floor. MAGGIE Thanks. LEE Dont take anything big. Maggie moves up the stairs towards Ikes room. INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER Maggie walks towards Ikes room, checks that no one sees her and enters. INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM - TINUOUS Maggie lets herself in the modest room and turns on the lights on. She spots on audio cassette on the desk he door. She holds the cassette up to the light to read the hand-written label. It says "Miles Davis" on it. She pockets the tape. She walks to the living room. MAGGIES POV: Ike has placed post-its on a framed picture, using the frame as a bulletin board. Post-it notes lay out the information he has gathered under headings and subheadings. Parents "Mother" deceased, subheaded by "Walter" and there is one for "Brian", "Gill", and "Bob". Maggie smiles and shakes her head. She rips one post-it down and reads it to herself. MAGGIE (reads) "How does she get all these guys to propose? Shes not that beautiful." (snorts) Bite me, paper boy. She begins ripping many of other post-it off the picture frame. MAGGIE (td) (as she takes post-its) Rude... Shes ripping them down, fast and furious, then shoves them in her shoulder bag. INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL HALLWAY - TINUING Ike es down hallway as Harvey puts his shoes out to be shined. BASIDE THE ROOM Maggie, looking around, discovers the wedding video on the coffee table and grabs that, too. MAGGIE (td) Thief! THE SOUND OF A KEY IN THE DOOR makes Maggie jump. She flees to the bathroom, and shuts and locks the door. Just as Ike enters, he sniffs and looks around the room, instantly knowing something is up. He sees all his notes gone and a glimpse of Maggie as she closes the bathroom door. Ike is steaming. A BUMP sounds from the bathroom. He goes over to the door and tries the handle. Its locked. He starts to pound on the door. IKE All right, I know youre in there... You steal my research... Youre messing with the first ame now. Open up. Open up. You got no place to go. INT. IKES HOTEL BATHROOM - TINUING Ikes wrong. Maggie is already trying to open the first bathroom window. Its stuck. She climbs over the bathtub, opens that window and starts to climb out. IKE I want to have a very serious discussion with you as to why youre such a pain in the ass. We HEAR Ike slamming his body against the bathroom door. As Ike breaks in, he runs to the window and yells after her. EXT. IKES HOTEL WINDOW - TINUOUS IKE (td) Thats breaking aering. Ill call the sheriff. MAGGIE You do that. And remind him hes bringing the wio the luau. Thanks. She disappears around the ledge of the building and runs off. Ikes neighbor, Harvey, sits reading near his window. CUT TO: EXT. MAGGIES HOUSE - NIGHT Establishing. INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - NIGHT CLOSE ON: A CASSETTE PLAYER. We see the familiar handwritten label: "Miles Davis." "Kind of Blue" plays as Maggie listens in a chair, looking shell-shocked, surrounded by the post-its she stole from Ikes room. We see as she reads them: "Father, two- fisted drinker," "Peggy, best friend, but Peggy doesnt totally trust Maggie," "Bob" -- doesnt love him. Overwhelmed, she finishes reading the last note, leans back, puts her feet up on the table, deep in the mood of the melanusic. The CAMERA MOVES on the last note on the floor o her chair. It reads: "SHOWS NO REMORSE". FADE TO BLACK. FADE IN: EXT. MAIN STREET/BEAUTY PARLOR - DAY Its early m. Mrs. Pressman hands Peggy a cup of coffee to go. Peggy walks to the beauty parlor, unlocks the front door and goes in. INT. BEAUTY PARLOR - DAY Peggy enters and starts about her opening duties. She turns on the lights and turns and sees her friend, Maggie. MAGGIE Do you think I flirt with Cory? Peggy stops irack. Maggie is sitting curled up in a salon chair. She looks like she hasnt slept. PEGGY Good m to you, too. You look good. MAGGIE Thank you. Do you think I flirt with Cory? PEGGY Yes. Maggie looks miserable. MAGGIE I dont mean it. Peggy moves to the salon mirror near Maggie with her cup of coffee. PEGGY I know. I think sometimes you just sort of spaz-out with random excess flirtation energy and it just lands on anything male that moves. MAGGIE On anything male that moves? As opposed to anything male that doesnt move? Peggy pours her coffee out of its Styrofoam cup into a ceramic mug. PEGGY Like certain kinds of coral. Peggy sits in the salon chair o Maggie. MAGGIE Im going to kill myself. PEGGY Why? MAGGIE Because you think Im all like... "Hey man, check me out". PEGGY (friendly) No, I dont think youre like, "Im charming and mysterious in a way that even I dont uand and something about me is g out for prote from a big man like you". Very hard to pete with. Especially to us married women who have lost our mystery. MAGGIE But you havent lost your mystery! Youre very mysterious! PEGGY No. Im weird. Weird and mysterious are two different things. MAGGIE But Im weird. PEGGY No. Youre quirky. Quirky and weird are two different things. MAGGIE Peggy, theres distinct possibility that I might be profoundly and irreversibly screwed up. Despite that, I love you and I promise that I will no longer flirt with Cory, and I beg your fiveness. Maggie looks ready to cry. PEGGY Im not worried about you and Cory or Cory and me or even that youre irreversibly screwed up. But, Maggie, youve been like this since we were kids. And I think now that you are aware of it and that it hurts peoples feelings, maybe its time to move on with your life and it to someone of your own, like Bob, if hes the one. MAGGIE I think youre right. (then) Is there anything I do to make it up to you? PEGGY Something that brings warmth to my heart. (pause) Duckbill platypus. MAGGIE Its only funny at Camp Birchwood at three in the m at a tick hunt. Its not anymore. Maggie makes her funny face. Peggy doesnt laugh. PEGGY Youre right. Its not funny now. Maybe we both grew up. MAGGIE Thanks. Will you fix my hair? CUT TO: EXT. MAGGIES HOUSE - LATER THAT M Maggie exits her house, gets on her bike and rides off towards town. INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM - LATER THAT M Ike is still in bed. He slowly blinks awake, stretches, and is about to throw off the covers when Maggies voice breaks the silence. MAGGIE Freeze. Hold on to those covers -- I didnt e here to see Ike Junior. Maggie smiles cheerfully at Ike from the foot of the bed. He narrows his eyes at her. IKE I take it the desk clerk is one of your many admirers. MAGGIE (deadpan) How do I do it? Im not that beautiful. Ike notices Maggie is holding two coffees. IKE Coffee. Now. Maggie hands it to him. MAGGIE Youre wele. Your notes made iiime reading -- if you like trashy fi. Your observations are distorted, ungrounded an inplete. You must be very proud. IKE Im not a boastful man. Whats your point? Ike puts a shirt on as Maggie speaks. MAGGIE My point is that one again, youre getting it all wrong. That wont improve your reputation any, and its not very flattering to me either. So, Im going to give you a ce to write the truth. IKE Really. Maggie turns away from him as he dresses. MAGGIE Ive decided to cooperate a you interview me. (beat) For a thousand bucks. Ike clears his throat as he stands putting his pants on. MAGGIE (td) I want a big wedding and a killer dress and frand I will answer all your questions a you follow me around. Ike takes his coffee with him as he picks up his glasses, puts them on and crosses to the window. IKE My magazine doesnt pay because for stories. Its not what you call ethical. MAGGIE Oh, but making up the facts as you go along is ethical? Actually, I meant you. You probably got severance or expenses or both. Ill take your check. No credit cards. IKE (to Maggie) Youve seen the post-its. Ive already got more juicy material than I need. Why should I pay you dollar one? MAGGIE Because I think youre writing on spec and with a first person interview, you might actually sell that thing. Ike knows shes right. IKE Too much. MAGGIE Seven-fifty. IKE Five hundred. MAGGIE Six-fifty. IKE Done. Scowling, he writes out the ched hands it to her. Maggie looks at it and smile sweetly. CUT TO: EXT. MAGGIES HOUSE - DAY Ike jogs alongside of Maggie on her bike. Maggie parks her bike and they go inside her door to the house. INT. MAGGIES FOYER AND STAIRS - DAY Maggie leads Ike upstairs to her workroom. MAGGIE Pardon the mess. I havent ed sihe fifth grade. INT. MAGGIES WORKROOM - LATER I on a cappuae. We PULL BAd see Maggie and Ike standing at her work table. An automatic cappuaker stands oable. Its base is made from a used paint mixing mae. It looks very shiny and futuristic. Maggies logo "MAG" is on the side. The mae shakes as it steams the cappuo. Ike notices another homemade mae oable. IKE (td) Whats this over here? MAGGIE Its a birthday present for my cousin. Put your finger in. IKE dy the manicurist. He puts his finger in the wrong hole of the mae. MAGGIE No, the other one. He puts his finger in the correct hole. She turns it on. The brushes rotate. IKE (laughing) This is wonderful. You refigure all these industrial parts and you do something amazing with it. He looks around and spots some gadgets and lamps on aable. He walks to them. IKE (td) Amazing. Found industrial stuff. Willo... Rasta lamp... He picks up one of the many logos on the ter. Each boasts a "MAG" logo. IKE (td) Is this your preferred logo? MAGGIE I think so. IKE I like it. This whole thing is pretty incredible. (studying a lamp) I think you could probably sell this lamp idea in New York. MAGGIE Maybe someday. IKE You afraid to try? MAGGIE (stares at him) No, Im not afraid. Just... Maybe someday. IKE Well, Im impressed. Absolutely incredible. (sitting) I didnt expect pink and lacy, but this isly a womans room. MAGGIE What an incredible chauvinistic observation. INT. MAGGIES LIVING ROOM - A BIT LATER THAT DAY Maggies showing Ike e rings. MAGGIE Thats Brians. He took me ut oeing on the lake and gave me the ring in a velvet box. Ike snores. Maggie hits him. MAGGIE (td) (defensive) It was classic. Maggie hands Ike another ring. This one is in the shape of a Grateful Dead rose. MAGGIE (td) Gill. Of course. He proposed at the tie-dye t-shirt stand at a Dead cert. It was very sweet until he halluated that the drum set was a blood-sug space alien. IKE Always a mood killer. MAGGIE Still sweet. Maggie hands Ike a third ring. Its in the shape of a butterfly and studded with multi-cems. MAGGIE (td) Gee. He proposed at a butterfly farm in St. Thomas. The ring was inside a co. IKE (grimag) Its a little "Silence of the Lambs" for me. I t believe you waited for the wedding to run. MAGGIE Hes aomologist! I thought it was very unique. Now Maggie shows Ike the ring on her hand. Its a gold "#1" with a diamo into the number. MAGGIE (td) And here we are at Bob. He proposed during the seventh inning stretch... Ike touches her hand to examihe ring more closely. Her surprise at his touch shows on her face as she finishes her sentence. MAGGIE (td) ... At an Orioles game. She takes her hand down. Ike steps away. IKE Wait. Dont tell me. The scoreboard lit up with "Mary me, Maggie." Ike picks up his cup of cappuo and moves behind the couch. MAGGIE It was one of the most wonderful moments of my life. Cal Ripken even applauded. IKE (stopping) Highly suspect. MAGGIE What do you mean? It was incredibly romantic! IKE Maybe its just me, but -- if you got to dress it up, it doesnt ring true. Ike moves back to the couch. IKE (td) I think the most anybody holy say is, "Look..." (sits on the arm of the couch) "I guarahat well have tough times. I guarahat at some point one or both of us will want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I dont ask you to be mine, Ill regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart -- youre the only one for me" Maggie stares at Ike for a beat. His words have taken a little bit of her breath away. She covers. MAGGIE I like it. She moves from the fireplace to a chair and sits. MAGGIE (td) Id like it better on a scoreboard. (lightly) Is that how you proposed when you asked your wife to marry you? Ike is taken aback. MAGGIE (td) Dont look so surprised, youve got divorce written all over you. IKE Im a work in progress. MAGGIE So? Is that what you said to her? IKE No. I think I said something eloquent like, "So, uh -- maybe we should, ya know. What do you think?" MAGGIE Now thats romantic. A proposal like that and you didnt fiernal bliss? What went wrong? Ike takes a swallow of cappuo. IKE I dont know. MAGGIE You dont know. IKE No. MAGGIE Maybe you should ask her some time. Ever thought of九九藏书 that? Ike is restless. He stands up. IKE Call me crazy, but I believe that check I gave you entitles me to ask the questions for a while. Ike puts down his cup of coffee, gets his tape recorder and sits close to Maggie. MAGGIE Fair enough. (thinks a beat) Actually... Maggie move to TV. She picks up Ikes stolen post-it notes and her wedding video on top of the TV, and goes to the front door. MAGGIE (td) Ill just need one more day to make sure your check clears. IKE Ow! DISSOLVE TO: EXT. HALE STREET - THE DAY Ike and Maggie drive in Maggies truck. They pull up in front of a Bridal Shop. A spectacular dress fills the small window. Its beautiful, romantic, sexy. Maggie and Ike be seen in the refle. MAGGIE Even with everything thats happened Ive still never been married and I still deserve a beautiful dress. IKE Agreed. Maggie gives Ike a smile that lights up the sky. They go inside. INT. BRIDAL SHOP - DAY The place is fairly large and prosperous, probably the place to go iri-ty area. A little FLIRL, 10, is being fitted on the pedestal in the middle of the room. A saleswoman, POLLY, has taken the flirl under her wing. They are both uhe expert eyes of a stern looking woman, MRS. WHITTENMEYER, the shop owner. Also, the girls MOTHER is there watg. POLLY (to the mother) Shell be the prettiest little flower girl in your daughters wedding. MAGGIE Mr. Whittenmeyer. Hi, Polly! The flirl sees Maggie and runs and hides behind Polly. POLLY Hi, Maggie. Youll have to excuse her, Maggie. Some of the children are afraid of you since yed that little boy up the aisle. MAGGIE I didnt drag. (then to the girl) He tripped on his shoelaces. Mrs. Whittenmeyer es forward to greet Maggie. MRS. WHITTENMEYER Youve e for your dress. Good! Ill get it from the back. Maggie leads her to the front window. MAGGIE (happily) Actually, I would like to get this dress. She points to the dress. She smiles bars. Whittenmeyer, expeg her to share her joy. Mrs. Whittenmeyer darkens. MRS. WHITTENMEYER (to Polly) Polly, take Leslie into ge. (then, to Maggie) But the one you have on hold is lovely. MAGGIE (pleasantly) Yes. But Ive ged my mind. MRS. WHITTENMEYER Its ohousand dollars. Maggie is keenly aware of Ike listening in. MAGGIE I have ohousand dollars. MRS. WHITTENMEYER (firmly) The other one is only three hundred dollars. Maggie lowers her voice, hoping to lessen the humiliation of the moment. MAGGIE Is this dress for sale? MRS. WHITTENMEYER It just seems like an awful lot of moo spend on one of your dresses, Maggie... You only wear them for about ten minutes. Ike watches with regret as Maggies child-like enthusiasm drains away, her happy mood crushed by the tactless assault of the shop owner. Hes starting to see that its no always easy being Maggie. Theres a tremor in her voice. MAGGIE Yeah, thats a good point. (then, sitting) The other dress is nice. Ike calls out to Mrs. Whittenmeyer. IKE Mrs. Whittenmeyer. May I talk to you for a sed? She walks over to him. IKE (td) I dont know much about this kind of thing. Im from out of town. Youre a salespersht? Youre here to sell wedding dresses. MRS. WHITTENMEYER (huffy) Yes. Ive been here for thirty years. IKE Perfect. Because Miss Carpenter is here to buy one. But not just any one. She wants that one. MRS. WHITTENMEYER Its a thousand dollars! Ike goes over and takes the mannequin out of the window. Mrs. Whittenmeyer catches the wig as he puts the mannequin under his arm. IKE (td) Look, Aunt Bea, were buying this beautiful dress and anything else she wants or Im ing back here with a squirt gun filled with India ink. Mrs. Whittenmeyer wilts under Ikes fierce gaze. She turns to Maggie. MRS. WHITTENMEYER Will he really do that? Maggie gives her a look. MR. WHITTENMEYER (td) (to Maggie) Well, why dont you pick out some accessories while I get this ready, dear. Polly, will you e help me, please? Polly es to help carry the mannequin away. ANGLE ON POLLY AND MRS. WHITTENMEYER: POLLY (whispering to Mrs. Whittenmeyer) Its a thousand dollars. MRS. WHITTENMEYER Shhhh! The man has ink! Maggie looks gratefully at Ike. IKE Tough to spend money in this town. TIME CUT: A FEW MINUTES LATER: Ike sits as he hears Maggies voice behind him. MAGGIE (o.s.) What do you think? Ike turns around. Maggie is standing on the pedestal, wearing the dress and looking unbelievably geous. She is overwhelming to behold and Ike has tle to keep his fader trol. IKE (stammering) You look... uh... You look fine. MAGGIE Fihe neers upside down. Thats better than fine. IKE Bob will be very happy. She glows. Then the momeween them is broken as she suddenly remembers something and grabs the veil off her head. MAGGIE Bob! I almost fot! I have to meet Bob! INT. DINER - DAY This is a great place -- a major hub of social life in Hale. The food is greasy and good, Mrs. Pressman is the waitress, and the CROWD the essence of what is wonderful about a small town. Bob, Maggie and Ike sit on the ter. Mrs. Pressman CHUFFS about the luau, then moves around the er. BOB Mrs. Pressman, I think were ready to order. MRS. PRESSMAN Were out the special because somebody... (indicates COOK with head) ... didnt order enough sausage. BOB Let me have the gardee. Egg whites only. Ike looks at Maggie. Hed bet a thousand bucks on what shed say . MAGGIE Ill have the same. IKE (clears his throat) Of course. MAGGIE What was that? I t order my eggs without sarcasm? BOB ral ers you two. Youre on the same team now. Any more fighting and its fifteen minutes in the penalty box. (gently, to Ike) Maggies the person youll ever meet. But shes always fog out there. Shes got to start fog more in here. (taps his chest) Thats why shes had some -- whatever you want to call it -- problems in the past. (to Maggie) Thats what were w on -- focus. Right, Maggie? Foaggie. Focus on Bob. As Bob has been talking, Ike has been watg Maggies face. The joy seems to have drained out of her. MAGGIE (quietly) Right. BOB (to Ike) I lead Maggie through a visualization exercise. All the sports shrinks use this head stuff. Visualize the end zone, if you catch my drift. Bob takes out a notepad and hands it to Maggie. BOB (td) Heres todays mantra: "Its an open field to Big Bob." IKE Tell me. When you get to the altar, will you spike the bouquet? MAGGIE You know, theres no... Before Maggie finish, Ike intercepts her. IKE Well, Im off. A reporters work is never done. (heading to the door) Mrs. Pressman, thank you. MRS. PRESSMAN Tootaloo. INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - MOMENTS LATER GRANDMA JULIA (V.O.) Id like to explain about the weddings. There are reasons why they didnt e off. Three weddings, no "I dos". You t believe how much cake we were left with. I should weigh three hundred pounds. I dont think her father minded spending so much money on booze that nobody drank. We hear Grandma as through the hotel doors, we see Maggie exit the diner. She gets a bag from ihe cab of her trud es ihe hotel where she finds Ike talking to Grandma, who is having tea with her friend, A. MAGGIE Ike... Hi, Grandma. IKE Gram here was going to give me the skinny on why you run from marital bliss. GRANDMA JULIA Right, cover your ears, a. Its not that shes afraid of the wedding, shes afraid of the wedding night. I girls are terrified of "the one-eyed snake". (getting into it) Why, when I was a virgin bride, I took a knitting needle with me into the bed... Ike winces. MAGGIE Actually, Grandma, I charmed the one- eyed snake awhile ago. GRANDMA JULIA Oh, yeah, I fot. Ill tell you one thing, yrandpa didnt fet that wedding night. (a) You take your hands off your ears, a. Your teas getting cold. MAGGIE you excuse us a minute? (then to Ike) May I have a word with you, please? Maggie moves toward door. IKE Bye, a... Bye, Grandam. He steps over to Maggie in the doorway. MAGGIE I found this and didnt know if it was something iing. Maggie hands Ike a 30-year-old LP: Miles Davis "Kind of Blue." IKE (excited) Oh, my God -- Its Miles Davis. This is "King of Blue"! This is the inal rec. Hard to find in good dition. Where did you find this? MAGGIE (casual) It was iic. It was jus sitting there gathering dust. IKE Its valuable. Hang onto it. MAGGIE No. You take it. She steps outside, leaving Ike with the record. IKE Hmmm... Figuring out what kind of music I like and then finding me a rare album. Youre n to soften me up, are you? MAGGIE No -- Im ing an attic. I wouldnt attempt the impossible. She turns and walks back to the diner where Mrs. Pressman is outside watering plants. Ike looks after Maggie and then back down at the record in his hand. Somehow it makes him sad. CUT TO: INT. IKES CAR - LATER THAT DAY Ike drives through Hale gobbling french fries from the fast food bag in his lap. Ike passes THE INN HALE BAR, same dump of a taveralked to barte. ANGLE ON: MAGGIES CAR parked a few cars down. He pulls over and parks. He gets out and speaks into his tape recorder. I. THE INN HALE BAR -- DAY Ike approaches the window of the bar. Theres a DRUNK MAN and a DOG sitting outside. Inside, we see two figures from the back, arms around each other. One is definitely Maggie. The other is definitely not Bob. MAGGIE (coaxing) . Lets go. As Maggie helps the ma up, we see that its Walter, Maggies father -- dead drunk. WALTER (belligerently) I havent had any fun since you got your drivers lise... They stumble and lurch, exiting the bar toward Maggies car. MAGGIE Im ly having fuher... Steady. WALTER (to Dog) Good boy, Port Hole. MAGGIE His name is Skipper, Dad... Steady. WALTER I ged it. (then to Drunk) See you later, Mr. Travis. (then to Maggie) That guy has a problem... Maggie, you run everyones life but your own. Maggies having trouble keeping him steady as she opens the car door. Ike is there in a flash to help her pull Walter into the car. WALTER (td) Good daughters let their fathers pass out. Walter passes out on the fro. MAGGIE (without difficulty) Ike... Please dont write anything about this -- IKE No. Fet about it. Dont even think about it. Maggie looks at him with real gratitude. She swings the car door shut. MAGGIE Watch y, Dad. (then to Ike) Im so tired of this. IKE Why dont you let him sleep it off in the trunk. Ill take you for a ride. Then well e back for him. (to Drunk on bench) Keep an eye on him. DRUNK MAN Im too loaded. IKE I was talking to the dog. (turning to Maggie) All right? Maggie thinks about this for a moment. She takes a deep breath. MAGGIE Okay... Ill just grab my jacket. CUT TO: EXT. ROAD - LATE DUSK TO NIGHT Establishing of Ikes car driving. INT. IKES CAR - LATE DUSK TO NIGHT Maggie and Ike ride along. IKE My dad managed a business and two mistresses. He wanted me to be a . More? Maggie nods, IKE (td) My mother wanted me to bee a musi. 0 for two. But at least Im a journalist and we all know journalism is literature in a hurry. EXT. IKES CAR - TRY ROAD - NIGHT Ike and Maggie stare forward. Both seem in melanoods. Theyre beginning to seheyre in trouble here. Suddenly, the car falters and jerks. It shows to a stop on the shoulder of the road. The car backfires and smokes. EXT. IKES CAR - TRY ROAD - NIGHT Ike and Maggie sit ieaming car for a moment. MAGGIE Your filters clogged. This takes unleaded. IKE you fix it? MAGGIE First I have to find some tools. I need a half and a nine-six-tenth. IKE (removing his glasses) Of what? MAGGIE (in amazement) Wrenches. My dads gonna love that one. Maggie slams the food closed. IKE Kind of isolated. MAGGIE Yeah. Its kind of nice. An unfortable silent pause. Ike breaks the moment. IKE Theres ohing we New Yorkers know how to do is hail a cab. If theres no cab, we walk. Ike stares off down the road. Maggie indicates a building in the distahen turns off the car lights. MAGGIE I get some tools over there.... and save the battery... Theres ohing we try girls know how to do is cut across a field. Its quicker. Maggie points diagonally across the field to where a gas station sign glows and the lights from the outer house twinkle. He smiles and follows her into the field. MAGGIE (td) Be careful of snakes. IKE Snakes? Are you serious? I dont like snakes. Ive never even seen a snake. He steps carefully into the field, then hops gingerly toward Maggie. MOMENTS LATER Maggie leads Ike through a field. MAGGIE Do you think theres only ht person for everybody? Ike chooses his words carefully. IKE No. But I think attra is too often mistaken fhtness. Attra is very misleading. And if its mutual, its well, terribly distrag. MAGGIE Yes it is. And it doesnt mean anything. Ike nods as they e to a wooden fence. She puts her hand on his shoulder. Ike puts his hands around her waits to give her a boost over the top. We see the flicker of misuanding cross Maggies face at the initial taeither of them moves -- forward or back, but the electricity is obvious. ANGLE ON: Ike. His flicted feelings are apparent. With difficulty, Maggie straightens up and they both quickly remove their hands. MAGGIE (td) (lightly) I suddenly fot how to climb a fence. They look at each other for a moment, then: MAGGIE AND IKE (breaking the moment jokingly) "Tools". She climbs over the fen her own and Ike follows. They see an old guy, LIONEL, whittling on a porch. MAGGIE (td) Lionel, I borrow some tools? IKE Yeah, we need a half and nine- sixteenths. LIONEL Gonna bust out of another wedding? IKE Youre sure well known around here. EXT. FISHER AND ELLIES BUILDING - THE DAY Establishing shot. INT. FISHER AND ELLIES KIT (NYC) - DAY INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM - DAY I BETWEEN TWO LOCATIONS: Ike sits on his bed, on the phone, w aing his breakfast. Hes watg Maggies wedding tape again. Fisher is cooking an elaborate breakfast. Ellie rushes arouing ready for work. He is on the phoo Ike. FISHER (into phone) Yes, well, my theory was that she may be running because she gets attention... ive attention is attention. Like when women whack you oreet because of your n, thats ive attention. IKE (V.O.) This is about her ive attention, not mine. Did you get the reimbursement for the dress yet? FISHER (into phone) No, Im paying for the dress. Do you think shes still gonna run? IKE (V.O.) I dont know. Ellie ehe kit, hears the question and shakes her head to herself. If only these boys would give it up. INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM - TINUOUS He is finding it very hard to gloat. Fisher is annoying him. IKE (into phone) Look -- Ill be in there later today. Ill e by and tell you all about it. FISHER (V.O.) Youre ing here? IKE (into phone) Yeah. FISHER (V.O.) Then e for dinner. IKE (into phone) Okay, well order out. FISHER (V.O.) Order out like a Philistine, when you got the Galloping Gourmet here?... Ike hangs up and watches more of the Gee Swilling wedding video. INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY The bar from the opening se. GEE SWILLING, the same man Ike talked to before, is sitting on a stool, nursing his drink. He looks better. Ike enters. Gee looks up and reizes Ike, who takes the bar stool o him. IKE Get this man a Kamikaze. GEE Splendid disse of Maggie Carpenter, very professional job. Ike sits and leans over to Gee. IKE (whispers) You could have told me you were fiance hree. GEE And end up in the papers? Ive been humiliated enough already to last a lifetime, thank you. Im sorry she got you ed. IKE Thanks. GEE Shes a cacophony of tradis. IKE Well, Im writing another article on the cacophony. GEE Ah, t stay away from her, you? Like a moth to a flame. IKE Guess youd know about that. Youre an entomologist, right? Hows business? GEE (taking a sip of his drink) Not bad. I was traveling around studying the reproductive and migratory patterns of locusts when Maggie met me. IKE (sarcastic) er a locust, feed the world. GE Not the world. Just Afrid a. Ike wipes the smirk off his face. Like Maggies other men, this guy has a worthy aplishment under his belt. GEE (td) You know Maggie was the only girl I ever met who would hold my tarantula. On the first date. IKE (td) So, tell me, Gee, why do you think she ran? GEE Same as you said. What did you call her? A "maer", "a dev death goddess." IKE I dont think thats why she ran. GEE Why do YOU think she ran? Ike sips his drink before answering. IKE I dont know. Im w on it. I was on the wrong track. GEE And you defending her? IKE No. I call it like I see it. Im a journalist. Im a truth teller. GEE Unbelievable, she got to you. IKE Oh, please! GE Join the club. (passing him his drink) Here, you his more than me. Gee heads out. IKE (proteg, taking his tape recorder out of his pocket) Im writing an article, Im getting paid to do this, its going to be a cover story, its going to be published ... The facts will be read someday. As Gee pauses in the doorway, Ike holds up his tape recorder. IKE (td) What kind of eggs did she like? GEE Poached, just like me. Gee exits. CUT TO: EXT. NEW YORK STREET/FISHER AND ELLIES BUILDING - DAY Ike walks down a street toward Ellie and Fisher. CUT TO: INT. FISHER AND ELLIES APARTMENT (NYC) - NIGHT Ellie is on the phone as Fisher enters with beer. Ike sits at the piano. FISHER (sarcastically) Overpriice apartment and ese takeout. Thats New York living. ELLIE (into phone) ... Just call me when you have it. (hangs up, then to Fisher) Ike, how is the story ing? Is she a maer? FISHER Or a vegetarian? ELLIE Or does she pick "NGBS" -- "Nice Guys, But..." Nice guys, but Im cheap. Nice guys, but he lives with his mom... Nice guys, but he just out of prison. IKE No... Theyre iing guys. Each one of these guys has something going for him. I mean, ones been up Everest. Anothers bee a priest. Ones a pretty good guitar player. And this guy today tried to end world hunger, if you believe that... FISHER Whoa, Ike. Getting a plex, buddy? ELLIE Fisher, let him talk. IKE (sits) But one of those guys -- not one of them -- knew her at all. Eae was vihat she erfect for them, but they didnt see her. And she never showed up so they couldnt see her. Its a very symbolic thing happening. She bees what she thinks they wanted to be. Fisher doesnt like the sound of this. He gla Ellie, who is looking very ied. FISHER (in shock) Ike is turniive and I t bear to watch. Im going to make a fresh pot of tea. The phs as Fisher exits. Ike goes to the piano as Ellie picks up the phone. ELLIE (into phone) Yeah... Oh, Jay... Okay... Bye. (hangs up, then yells to Fisher) Fisher, dont fet the fortune cookies. She joins Ike at the piano. Ike gets serious. IKE Is that what I did to you? Is that what happened? Did I just not see you? ELLIE No. No, you didnt. He hugs her. IKE (heartfelt) Well -- Im sorry, Im really sorry, Ellie. ELLIE Im sorry, too. (beat) Wow. That only took us between years to say. Ellie blinks back seal tears. CUT TO: EXT. TROUTS BARN - THE NIGHT We hear Hawaiian music. We see a truck with GUESTS drive up and HULA DAhrough barn slats. INT. TROUTS BARN - NIGHT Its a small barn thats been verted into a luau with a bar. A BAND plays for two hula dancers. The Trouts had decorated it as a little slice of Hawaii. There are tiki lights, numerous rented plastic palm trees and fiberglass copies of Hawaiian statuary. Strings of colored lights crisscross the ceiling. It looks like a Hawaiian high school gym on prom night. Maggies family, Mrs. Trout and people weve already met, and more, are here, milling around wit tropical drinks garnished with umbrellas. Plastic leis abound and most people have mao find their old Hawaiian shirts. As we e in, the hula dancers finish their applause and Mrs. Trout announces. Hula dancers stop. LOU TROUT Wele to our annual try luau. As you know, Betty and I got married on the rim of the crater, Diamond Head. MRS. TROUT (grabbing the microphone) This year, were dedig our first dao the soon-to-be newlyweds, the King and Queen of Hawaii, Maggie and Bob. The couple enters. Bob is a goody bronzed god in his King Kamahamela outfit. Maggie is spectacular in her authentic looking Harincess get-up. But her face refleone of the festivities around her. Every now and then, she looks up and glances around for Ike, hating herself for it. MRS. TROUT (td) King and Queen, dance. Maggie and Bob start to dance as the Quarter sings "Aloha Oe." MRS. TROUT (td) Everybody dance. Everybody dances. TIMES OUT: Maggie and Bob pose for pictures with some of the guests. MRS. TROUT Pictures of the King and Queen. Dennis poses with Maggie. Cory poses with Bob. Mrs. Trout runs out of film and goes to get more, leaving Peggy and Maggie alone. Peggy whispers to Maggie. PEGGY Lighten up, wahine. MAGGIE Lighten up, what? PEGGY This party is for you and Bob. Get your mind off the reporter. MAGGIE I havent seen him iy-four hours. It just gives me the creeps a little bit. Id feel better if I knew where he was. PEGGY (nods to door) Would it? ANGLE ON: Ike just entering the party. At least he tried. Hes got a tropical sheet ed around his pants and shirt. He walks to the bar and is greeted warmly by Lee. Maggie gets very flustered. PEGGY (td) What are you doing? MAGGIE (after a beat) Im going to go dah Bob. Because hes the man. (referring to her headdress) I like those grapes. Maggie dances affeately with Bob as Mr. Trout, tending bar, greets Ike. LOU TROUT Hey, Mr. Graham, wele to our luau. What I get you? IKE You got something without a toy in it? TIME CUT: A LITTLE LATER - CLOSE ON A pair of expressive pantomime "A Little Grass Shack". PULL BACK TO REVEAL: Mrs. Trout is on stage, introdug hula testants. Grandma judges the Hawaiian dang. The party is at full tilt -- a little wild, a little goofy. Some guests (Bob, dy, Cory, Lee and Ted) do the limbo. Walter, Mrs. Pressma turn as she hears him. IKE Aloha. Thats a very fetg headdress youre wearing. Ike leans into Maggie, enjoying the smell of her hair. She notices, but acts casual. MAGGIE Where did you disappear to? IKE Missed me bad, huh? TIME CUT: All the guests start banding their pineapple cups. Walter rises unsteadily, lifting his pineapple. MRS. TROUT Attention. Listen to Walter. Listen close, he slurs. (then) Shut up, wahines! WALTER Iradition that has grown through the years, it is now Toast Time! First up, our host, "A Honey of a Beekeeper", Lou Trout.. Lou Trout stands with his glass raised. LOUT TROUT May the grooms heart be filled with hopes and the brides feet be filled with lead! There are shouts of "Hear hear!" Walter roars. MRS. TROUT May the pitter-patter of little feet not be Maggies. MRS. PRESSMAN May the gifts be returned! TED May the back of the dress be as pretty as the front! The laughter swells and swells, led by Walter. ANGLE ON: Ike watches as Maggie takes the heat, raising her glass along with the others. Bob raises his glass like the good sport he is. Ike t believe it. WALTER You know the old saying, "Youre not losing a daughter..." Well, Id like to! Walter gets a bit laugh. He goes again. WALTER (td) Maggie may not be Hales lo running joke... (under her breath) Maggie fihe pune along with his father. WALTER AND MAGGIE -- But shes certainly the fastest. Uproarious laughter. Maggie looks terribly pained. Ikes had enough. He pushes himself to his feet. Walter is thrilled. He shushes the CROWD. WALTER (td) Oh, look, Mr. Graham, how about a toast? IKE I dont know, give me a minute. (to Maggie) Are you all right with this? MAGGIE Excuse me? IKE Are you all right with this? You think this is funny? MAGGIE Yes. IKE I dont and I dont think you should... BOB Its a joke. Theyre kidding. WALTER AND CROWD (yell) e on and give us a toast. IKE You wao make a toast? Okay... Ill give you a toast. To Maggies family and friends. May you find yourselves the bulls eye of an easy target. May you be publicly flogged for all of your bad choices and may your o rubbed in all of your mistakes... Ike watches their rea. The silence is deafening. All the guests stare at Maggie. Mortified, she holds back tears. MRS. TROUT That was funny. (a pause) But enough toasts, lets hula. Lets start the music up. She gets everyone up to hula. Band plays fast tune. Maggie walks through the CROWD doweps and outside. Ike follows, but Peggy grabs a coat for her. Bob watches her go as Cory approaches. CORY Hey, Bob. I got twenty dollars bet on-- BOB Not now. Bob rushes after Maggie. PEGGY (calling after her) Maggie. Maggie. (to Ike, handing him a jacket) Here. She may his. Its not really Hawaii. Ike exits. Then, Bob es over. BOB Whered Maggie go? PEGGY Oh, she just went to get me something from the car. Cory es over with Dennis to Bob and Peggy. BOB/PEGGY/CORY/ DENNIS CHUFFA: About Bart Starr and football. (Which keeps Bob from going outside to follow Maggie). Bob thinks about it. EXT. TROUTS BARN - NIGHT Ike runs after Maggie. He grabs her arm and turo him. IKE Im the only goddamn person in there pulling for you. MAGGIE You humiliated me! IKE No, Maggie, I defended you. Humiliating you is what everyone else is doing. Its the theme of this party. MAGGIE I had it under trol. Now they feel sorry for me. IKE Well, they should. Because theyre about to watch you hang yourself again. Maggie has no response. IKE (td) -- Tell me something, do you really care about Mount Everest? MAGGIE Its fun! Its high. IKE Or the sexual habits of locusts? MAGGIE That was very iing research Gee was doing! IKE What kind of Dead Head gets a temporary tattoo? MAGGIE I already explained about that. IKE And where you ever really going to run the leper y in Molokai? MAGGIE (wing) Brian told you that? IKE Or maybe you just wao wear the headdress. MAGGIE Every one of those times I was being supportive. Something you wont uand. IKE Supportive? You werent being supportive. You were being scared. Just like now. You are the most lost woman I have ever laid eyes on. MAGGIE Lost! IKE Thats right. Youre so lost you dont even know how you like ys. MAGGIE What!? IKE With the priest, you liked them scrambled. With the Dead Head, fried. With the bug guy, poached. Now its egg whites only, thank you very much. MAGGIE Thats called ging your mind. IKE No, thats called not having a mind of your own. What are you doing, Maggie? You really want to let that man drag you up Annapuma on your honeymoon? You dont want to climb Annapuma. MAGGIE Yes I do! IKE No you dont. You want a man who will lead you down the beach with his head over your eyes just so you discover the feel of the sand under your feet. You want a guy who will take you into a cave with a thousand dles just to read you a poem. You want a man to wake you up at dawn because hes burning to talk to you and he t wait another mio find out what youll say. Am I right? Hes laid her flat. Maggie t speak. IKE (td) Am I right? She fights bagry tears. MAGGIE Stop. Stop it! Im getting married on Sunday, and youre just trying to make me run! Why? Because youre a ical, exploitative, meaed creep who wouldnt know real love if it bit him in the armpit! And all you do is tear other people down and-and-and laugh at them, and criticize what they do, because youre too afraid to do anything yourself! I read your n. You never wrote one about you. Im not the only one whos lost and you know it! Am I right? Well? Am I right? ANGLE ON: Bob es outside. BOB Mag. Help me out here. Green Bay. Right guard. Both Maggie and Ike are breathing hard. Bob es up to Maggie and gives Ike a very hard look as he puts his arm around his fiancee. BOB (td) You know... Blocked Bart Starr, crewcut ... Are you okay? Maggie adjusts her face as best she . MAGGIE Yes. BOB Let me take you baside, okay? She lets him lead her away. MAGGIE Jerry Kramer. Ike looks at her drooped shoulder and he shakes his head and walks to his car. EXT. HALE METHODIST CHURCH - THE DAY Peggy and dy arrive for the rehearsal. They leave dys dog in Peggys car and walk to the church. DY Tell me, why does Maggie need another wedding rehearsal and two days before the wedding? Shes already dohis. PEGGY Bob is making her visualize the ceremony. CUT TO: INT. HALE METHODIST CHURCH - NIGHT They are in the church proper now. Peggy waits in a pew as Bob leads Maggie and Ike up the back steps of the church. BOB (to Maggie) Okay, were ready. Wao have Ike leave now? Maggie turns oh "cheerful" hostility. MAGGIE No. No -- Actually, lets make Ike the pastor. IKE Id rather not. MAGGIE (sarcastically) e on, itll give you a great view. Its perfect. (seeing Peggy) Hey. Maggie smiles at Bob. Ike sighs and goes with it. Bob pulls Ike to the head of the aisle and places him. Peggy follows Maggie into the foyer to get ready. dy sits with Ted at the an. BOB Team effort, Pastor Ike... dy, ready? (after no response) dy, e on. dy leaves to join the girls in the foyer. INT. CHURCH FOYER - THAT MOMENT On the privacy of the foyer, Peggy and Maggie talk. PEGGY Hes going to be the pastor? MAGGIE Yep. I want him to be front aer and to watch everything. PEGGY What happe the luau? MAGGIE (flustered) ... I dont even want to talk about the luau. (then seeing a hanging rope) Whats this? PEGGY Its for the bell. dy joins them. DY Bobs in a hurry. PEGGY Dont be nervous, Maggie. Let us visualize. Remember what Bob said? "Be the ball." DY "Sink the putt." PEGGY "Make the shot." DY "Nothing but ." PEGGY "Never say die." Maggie puts her hands up. MAGGIE Go! Peggy and dy exit. Maggie pulls the bell rope and sways back and forth as she rings the bell. INT. CHAPEL - THAT MOMENT It is Maggies turn to ehey all turn expetly. Too much time passes. Ted plays the an, then stops. Maggie swings bad forth in the foyer doorway. BOB Honey, are you okay? Maggie sting the bell and pulls herself together. She walks into the aisle looking a little shaky. She takes a few tremulous steps slowly with her eyes closed, peeking occasionally with one eye. IKE (taking off his jacket) At this pace, it could be an evening wedding. BOB Hold it! Hold it! I think were taking this too fast. He begins to pace. BOB (td) We o limber you up a little. Youre tensing. (thinks a moment; to Ike, moving him to grooms spot) You stand here and be me so she knows how far shell have to go. (then to Maggie) Im going to walk with you. Bob goes to Maggie and walks behind her. BOB (td) Visualize! Visualize! Its game time. ANGLE ON: Maggie walking. BOB (td) You are the football. Youre spiraling through the air towards the hands of the groom. She proceeds down the aisle. Bob behind her. MAGGIE (eyes down) Yes, Im spiraling through the air. ANGLE ON: Maggie raises her eyes and sees Ike in front of her as groom. Ike and Maggie lock gazes. If they had to, they couldnt look away. All the things unspoken are now unicated -- the love, the longing. MAGGIE (td) I streak towards the goal line. Maggies pace quis. MAGGIE (td) And I land on the goal line. ANGLE ON: Bob beams to see Maggies eager arrival at Ikes side. He switches off the musid proceeds like a proud coach to be the pastor. BOB Okay, Im the pastor. Dearly beloved, blah, blah, blah. So on and so forth. Ra ta ta ta. Yabada dabada. I now pronounan and wife. Kiss the bride, badum dum. (then moving toward Ted) We have the cresdo that leads to us right back down the aisle and out the... Ike kisses Maggie. It is a world class, Olympic kiss. It is a kiss that ges everything and ever be taken back. It is a kiss you only get on your life. NEW ANGLE: Bobs smile dies. dys mouth drops open as the kiss goes on and on. Peggy loses trol and screams. BOB (td) Maggie!!!!? Like a bucket of water thrown on two dogs, Ike and Maggie are startled out of their kiss. They pull apart and smile at each other. ANGLE ON: Bob. BOB (td) (furious) If you were imagining me, you did great. (to Ike) What the hell were you doing? IKE (eyes on Maggie) Im sorry, Bob. She kissed me back. MAGGIE (dazed but happy) I kissed him back. BOB Yeah, I caught that. Want to tell me how long this has been going on? Maggie looks at Ike, wondrous, fused. MAGGIE About a minute...? IKE A little longer for me. MAGGIE Really? BOB What do you expect me to say to this? IKE How about -- "I hope youll be very happy together"? Bob hauls bad punches Ike in the face. Ike drops. BOB I hope youll be very happy together. Bob storms down the aisle and out of the church. MAGGIE (to Peggy) Take care of him. Maggie leaves. CUT TO: EXT. CHURCH - THAT MOMENT Bob is halfway down the walk. Maggie appears at the church door and calls after him. MAGGIE Bob, Im sorry! (half to herself) At least I backed out before the wedding. Thats progress! He keeps marg. Now Peggy appears o Maggie. Maggie calls again. MAGGIE (td) Some woman is going to make you a lot happier than I ever could... The words are barely out of her mouth when dy es out the door, rag after Bob at a full sprint. MAGGIE (td) See? PEGGY Well, Maggie -- in the words of Mrs. Pressman: "Holy moly". Call me later. Peggy goes to her car. dy joins her as Bob speeds off in his car. Now Ike takes Peggys plaext to Maggie. Maggie turns to face Ike. They are both beet red, stammering and uo look at each other, trying to aal. MAGGIE Okay. So... what, uh... What just happened? Just now? Jus then? In there? IKE I dont know. I, uh -- I frankly dont even want to talk about it. MAGGIE Me, either. Ike GRABS Maggie and BOOM -- they are all over each other, kissing frantically, tongues, hands, hair, elbow, you . Blathering fools. IKE (blathering) I love you. I love you. MAGGIE (blathering) I love you, too. They e up for air. IKE Wait. We have to talk. We have to do some talking now. Pull up a railing. Maggie sits on the railing, then Ike backs up and sits on the opposite railing. IKE (td) You have to go down an aisle and say "I do". You have to get married. MAGGIE To who? Are you asking me? IKE Me? Ike backs up to opposite railing and sits fag Maggie. MAGGIE Yes, you! IKE (thinks) Well, you do have the dress. MAGGIE And the church. IKE And the wedding date. Theres the two of us. (beat) So, you think... maybe... You have to go down the aisle with somebody you love and who love you back. MAGGIE Im okay with that. IKE So am I. MAGGIE So, well... They both nod and sit there smiling, sort of. The anist, Ted, closes the church door. TED Good night. Ike pulls his tape recorder out of his pocket and quietly speaks into it. IKE Im getting married. WIDE SHOT: They smile at each other and remain sitting. Then, silence. CUT TO: EXT. STREET/HALE/ATLANTIC HOTEL - THAT NIGHT Ike drives up and parks in front of the hotel as he talks on his cell phone. I WITH: INT. FISHER AND ELLIES BEDROOM (NYC) - NIGHT Ellies on the phone. Fisher sits nearby. ELLIE Ikes going to get married. Fisher throws himself onto the carpet and rolls himself helpless with laughter. ELLIE (td) (without turning to him) Fisher, if you pee on that Persian, Ill kill you. CUT TO: INT. BEAUTY SALON - NIGHT DAY Maggie talks to Peggy, dy and Grandma Julia. Grandma Julia sits under a hair dryer. Sprout, the dog, sits in his basket. DY I love his eyes. I just believe theyre listening to you. PEGGY His hair... any color. GRANDMA JULIA I like his tight butt. Peggy laughs. MAGGIE Grandma! PEGGY (to dy) See, this is a mature relationship. Shes really found it. CUT TO: LOVE MONTAGE SHOTS: EXT. O - DAY Ike and Maggie fishing. INT. MAGGIES WORKSHOP/HOME - DAY They play ping-pong. They laugh, enjoying the moment. INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - DAY Ike and Maggie have fun playing cards. The game is slapjack. EXT. FIELD - DAY Maggie and Ike horseback riding. They sit on their horses amongst trees, "nuzzling". Ike reads as he pushes Maggie in a tire swing. INT. MAGGIES ROOM - DAY Ike and Maggie open and close a Hoberman ball by holding its opposite ends ieeth. Grandma looks in. INT. MAGGIES LIVING ROOM - NIGHT There is a fire in the fireplace. Maggie and Ike sit as Ike shows Maggie some passages from his favorite books. Hes reading something from Yeats at the moment. They seem happy. EXT. CHURCH - THE DAY OF THE WEDDING It is a media circus including FOUR REPORTERS, Midday with Meredith and the T-shirt Vendor. Plus three other people the reporters are interviewing, a GERMAN LADY, BUTCH KENAN, a farmer and Grandma Julia. Reporter DINA NAPOLI walks down the church steps. DINA NAPOLI (OF WBAL) Wedding bells are ringing for the fourth time today in Hale, Maryland. Maggie Carpenter, "Always a Bride -- Never a Bridesmaid", will be attempting to plete her fourth wedding ceremony. Well e ba the air when the results are in. Back to you, Jessica. Meredith, the low-end public access TV reporter, films himself pointing a cheap video camera himself. MEREDITH The turnout for this ms wedding is usually reserved for royalty or Hollywood stars, but Maggie Carpenter is Hale, Marylands special star and the citizens of Hale are out in full force today. The NY T-shirt Vendor pitches his wares. T-SHIRT VENDOR I got "Bye-bye Birdie". "art of I do dont you uand?"... Get your "Runaway Bride" T-shirts here... Reporter JULIE MURPHY stands near Grandma Julia and Mrs. Pressman. JULIE MURPHY (el 6) The brides been here for almost an hour, but being around in the beginning was never her problem. Well be here, showing you the full wedding ceremony, we hope. Reporter JACKI and TIFFANY stand at the edge of the CROWD rep. JACKI/REPORTER #3 (WBOC TV16) Will she or wont she? That is on the minds of these several hundreds folks, who are standihis m. Not to mention on the mind of Groom Number #4, ex-USA Today nist, Ike Graham, who is missing in a. EXT. WINDOW OF CHURT. SUNDAY SCHOOL ROOM - DAY I window of church. Peggy peers out the window at the ival se. dy sits with Maggie as she leans forward, doubled over on a childs chair. Peggy moves from the window to sit with them. MAGGIE (moves to window) Hes not ing. Watch. Hes not ing. PEGGY No, no. I saw eight geese flying in a "V". MAGGIE You and your lucky geese. You always see geese. PEGGY ... DY And in a "V". MAGGIE Eight is good... "V" could be Victory. They ad lib various words starting with the letter "V". Maggie is nervous. DY Rub your ears. PEGGY Yes, rubbing your ears is very soothing. Cory does that to me when I hyperventilate. Maggie rubs her ears. DY We do it t. MAGGIE Its hurting. DY Well rub. After they rub Maggies ears a bit: PEGGY Hes here! Hes here! They all squeeze and peer out window. They scream iement. dy rushes to Maggies wedding dress. DY Ill get the dress. MAGGIE Hes here!... Hes here! PEGGY Nows the time for calm... If you dont calm down, you wo your dress on... (reassuringly) Hes the one... Hes the one. Peggy moves to help dy with the dress. Maggie stands alo the window a moment. She picks up a toy horse. MAGGIE This is not a good sign. Maggie goes over to Peggy and dy, and starts to get into her bridal gown. They tio ad lib words standing with the letter "V". DY We have to hurry. The Sunday School kids will be here soon. CUT TO: INT. IKES CAR - DAY Ike pulls up slowly. GUESTS peer through the his car window and wave. Ike rubs his headache. JULIE MURPHY Well, the groom just pulled up. There was talk of a "now show", but he is here. DINA NAPOLI Ike Graham is here! IKESPOV: He moves as he takes it all in: a FAMILY eats a fast food piic on a neighbors lawn, invited GUESTS flock by in their party best, and loEWS TEAMS block the way. The STATE SENATOR is making a speech weling the press to Maryland. A large GROUP of reporters head up the churchs stairs, hauling their equipment. They ehe flood of PEOPLE streaming ihe church. Ike snaps. EXT. IKES CAR - TINUING Ike stops the car where it is and jumps out, slamming the door in ahe REPORTERS swarm around him as he gets out of the car. They tio pound him with questions as he walks to church steps. An OLDER LADY smacks him on the shoulder with a neer. He turns in astonishment and tinues up the steps. He charges up the stairs and grabs Lee. IKE Shoot ours so she has oh an ending. Mrs. Pressman stands, shooting Ike with her video camera. IKE (td) (pleading) Mrs. Pressman, please. MRS. PRESSMAN Its okay. Theres no microphone. Youre no fun. IKE No, Im not. Ike retreats into the church. Lee es up to him again with his video camera: CHUFFA about Scorsese. INT. CHURCH - TINUING As Fisher and Ellie sign the guest book, a LOCAL LADY stares at Ellie. Ellie stares back at her until she leaves. Ike walks away from Lee and turns smato Ellie and Fisher. Ike puts his arms around them and gives them a big hug. IKE Friends. Thank you. Thank you. Over Ellies shoulder, Ike sees Fishers grinning face. IKE (td) We are friends, arent we, Fisher? FISHER (grinning) Of course we are. Of course. IKE Then youll be my best man. FISHER Well, Im good, I dont know if Im best. IKE Go talk to the pastor aell you what to do. And someone will tell me what to do. ELLIE You always looked great in that suit... And Ike? (emotional) Im happy for you, honey. Ellie whispers in his ear. ELLIE (td) Ill have a car around the back to whisk you out of here if she runs. Ellie kisses him on the cheek and walks away. ANGLE ON: Bob es up to Ike. He looks like hes going to punch Ike, then abruptly holds out a rose boutonniere. BOB You look awful. IKE (sarcastically) Thank you. Bob hands the flower to Ike. Ike is shaking. Bob catches this and looks up to Ike. It is a moment of hoy between the men. BOB Ike. Need help? He takes the boutonniere and puts it on Ikes lapel. BOB (td) Im glad its you. IKE Really? BOB I didnt want to find out I wasnt for her in the fourth quarter. IKE Got any last minute advice? BOB (motioning to their eyes) Maintain eye tact. Bob turns and leaves, going down a side staircase. IKE (to himself) Eye tact. Eye tact. Out of the er of his eye, Ike sees a pictures of Christ on the wall. He leans into the picture and whispers. IKE (td) Cover me. He walks into the chapel. INT. CHAPEL - TINUING Ike steps up and stands o Fisher. FISHER (to Ike) I have no idea what Im doing. IKE Your job is... the ring. (to Fisher) Do you have the ring?! FISHER I just found out Im best man! Im lucky I have a suit... Whats wrong? Ike gives the ring to Fisher. The Pastor approaches Ike. Ike turns away and look out over the guests. IKESPOV: There are most of the TOWNSPEOPLE weve e to know, plus some NEW YORKERS for Ike, with little ponytails. Armani wire rims, Donna Karan bodysuits. Theres a lot of smirking, cheg out the hicks, f their stories for cocktail hour. Elaine is in back all dressed in black, m Ike. Mrs. Trout approaches Ike. MRS. TROUT You should thank Lou and I for the wedding car -- a 63 Buick. IKE Thank you. MRS. TROUT Oh, e on. Youre practically family. Mrs. Trout starts pig lint off Fishers jacket. FISHER Hello. Im Fisher. MRS. TROUT This doesnt want to e out. FISHER You just pull a hair from my neck. IKE Mrs. Trout, go back to your seat! INT. CHURCH FOYER - DAY Peggy joins Maggie, who is blowing bubblegum and swaying in front of an oscillating fan. Grandma and Walter e in. Grandma gives her a kiss on the cheek. GRANDMA JULIA Good luck, Maggie. MAGGIE Thank you, Grandma. Grandma leaves. Walter steps up. WALTER (quietly to Maggie) Im really rooting for this one. MAGGIE Thank you, Dad. Peggy turns off the fan. dy takes the bag from Maggie. DY Spit. Maggie spits her bubblegum into the bag. Peggy hands Maggie her bouquet. PEGGY Lets go. MAGGIE No sauntering down the aisle. Just make time. Lets just get there. dy and Peggy nod and leave. The door closes. INT. CHAPEL - TINUING Both extends his hand to Elaine. ELAINE Hi, Im Elaine from New York. BOB Hello. Im Bob, Maggies fourth attempt. ELAINE Im sorry. BOB Thats okay. Theres a lid for every pot. Besides, Im fortable with Ike. I mean, Jack Dempsey lost his heavyweight title to a New Yorker. ELAINE I know. Geunney. The an begins to play. The anist is Ted. Grandma, Walter, Mrs. Pressman and the Trouts watch. Mrs. Trout picks lint off of her husbands jacket. ANGLE ON: dy and Peggy enter with the fident air of people who have dohis before. They make it to the head of the aisle all too quickly. Peggy gives Ike a wink and an encing smile. INT. CHURCH FOYER - TINUING The door opens and Dennis sticks his head in. DENNIS Theyre ready, Maggie. MAGGIE Just a sed. Dennis closes the door behind him as he goes bato the chapel. Maggie has a moment alone. She looks at back door as possible escape route, then ges her mind. She signals the start of the wedding by knog on the door. INT. CHAPEL - TINUOUS Immediately, Cory and Dennis open the doors for her entrance. All the guests stand as Maggie ehe chapel smiling. MAGGIES POV: The aisle stretches before her into infinity. Faces goggle at her from every dire. The tiny figure of Ike stands like a bea a long way off. NEW ANGLE: She plunges forward with a sped-up hesitation step. ANGLE ON: Ike rocks imperceptibly, urging her on. Peggy and dy make little "e on" motions. It seems to be w. Maggie approaches rapidly. The CROWD has turned from skepticism to looks and noises of encement. ANGLE ON: MAGGIE But then her feet gradually begin to slow. ANGLE ON: Fisher gives a little "darn, so close" look. ANGLE ON: But Ike is too busy maintaining eye tact. His eyes urge Maggie closer -- loving her, willing her on. CLOSE ON: Maggie stops her walk, gives Ike a teasing smile, and then resumes with her walk toward him. His face. Her face. His face. Her face. CLOSE ON: Her foot inches forward. The other follows. NEW ANGLE: A sigh now rises from the GUESTS as Maggie closes in on Ike. He smiles at her. She smiles at him. She is almost there... Shes there, smiling at Ike. The Pastestures to the guests to sit down. They do. ANGLE ON: Ike sneezes. She looks down and imagines she sees the carpet splitting apart. And she bolts like a bat out of hell! In a flurry of white, she is halfway down the aisle before Ike knows what hits him. ANGLE ON: Ike stands there dazed. For a sed. Then she springs into a, charging after her. IKE (yelling out) Block the doors! Like a general, he points to Dennis and Cory in the bad sends them into a. The doors shut in Maggies face. But shes a wild animal ered. She moves to the side. The TOWNSPEOPLE stand so Ike hurry through the pew. Ike climbs on the pews towards her as GUEST crowd the aisle, blog his path. Like a gazelle, she leaps to the side aisle and scampers down and away. Fisher gets on his cell phone. Ike charges from one of the full pews, crosses the aisle and leaps across the pews he staircase to cut her off. He grabs her veil and it es off in his hands. Maggie disappears doweps of the church basement. Ike fumble with the veil and jumps over the railing, landing on Dennis toe. He follows dowairs after her. Mrs. Pressman and Walter exge bet money. CUT TO: INT. CHURCH BASEMENT - TINUING Maggie es down steps aers the church childrens Sunday school class. A lot of KIDS And TEACHERS are doing religious arts and crafts. As Maggie runs through: MAGGIE Theres a man ing down those steps with lots of dy in his pockets. If you tickle him, hell give dy. She gives her bouquet to a little GIRL as she goes by. Ike es down stairs. IKE Maggie! The KIDS mob him, grabbing his pockets. Ike fights his way through KIDS. ANGLE ON: Maggie as shes in the church kit and hops on ter and heads out the window. The window is wide enough. ANGLE ON: Ike as he gets to the window, but Maggie is out in driveway. EXT. CHURCH DRIVEWAY - TINUING Maggie flies toward a FedEx truck at house just leaving. ANLE: She gathers her dress and jumps in as Ike yells from window, then, quickly climbs out onto the lawn as the truck starts to pull away. IKE Maggie! Maggie looks bace, tearful aful, and disappears ihe truck. The truck races off. The PHOTOGRAPHERS turn their cameras on Ike, en masse. He is enveloped by a barrage ht lights. Ellie and Fisher, who have also stepped outside on chapel front steps, are looking around as Ike turns around the er and past the church. ELLIE Look, hes running after her. FISHER Look, hes iy good shape. ELLIE Poor Ike. They look after the FedEx trud watch Ike chasing the truck down the road away from the church. IKE (running; yells) Maggie! ELLIE Where do you think shes going? FISHER Wherever it is, shell be there by ten- thirty tomorrow. dy, Cory, Peggy and Meredith also rush out of the churd ent on Maggies runaway. Further down the road, Ike still chases the truck, yelling: IKE Maggie! As the truck rounds the bend in the road and disappears, Ike stops and stares aloer the disappearing truck. A swarm of REPORTERS catch up to him, flashing pictures and asking questions. Another camera flashes a to: A NEER PHOTO Of Ikes stunned fa the cover of the USA Today. The caption reads: "Hit and Run: Runaway Bride Strikes again". And we see headlines in other papers. "MAGGIES MAD DASH" "HARDWARE HONEY GOES NUTS AND BOLTS" "JOURNALIST WRITTEN OFF" "BRIDE TAKES HIKE...NOT IKE" "BRIDE TAKE RIDE" "MAGGIE SAYS I DONT" NEER MONTAGE: INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY Kevin, the bartender, reads Jays n, in the USA Today entitled "Maggies Mad Dash". CUT TO: EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY Various neer WORKERS also read Jays n in the USA Today entitled "Maggie Mad Dash" and "Hardware Honey Goes Nuts and Bolts" in another neer. FADE IN EXT. MAIN STREET/HALE - NIGHT (1-5 MONTHS LATER) Its a night like any other in Hale -- the regular order of things has beeored on its quaint streets. Quartet sings in front of the hotel. LEE AND CORY CHUFFA: About where Peggy is. INT. HARDWARE STORE - NIGHT Maggie is sitting, end of a long day. Peggy sticks her head in entrance door. PEGGY You okay? Im closing. MAGGIE Im just finishing up, too. PEGGY Want to go to Butchs for a drink or something? MAGGIE (interrupting) No, Im just going to head home. PEGGY Okay. Peggy starts to go, then moves close to Maggie. PEGGY (td) (stepping closer and making a "V" with her fingers) You know, I was just thinking about that geese thing. I think the "V" was half of a "W". A "W" for... MAGGIE What are you talking about? PEGGY Wedding. Wedding. (holding Maggies face) You just have to get the rest of your ducks in a row. MAGGIE Thank you. You still think that he was.... PEGGY Quick. Very quick. Peggy exits. Maggie stares, losing herself in thought. Then a VOICE startles her. VOICE (whispers) Marry me, Maggie. Maggie jumps and turns to see: DENNIS -- the kid from the high school football team, popping up from a low positiohe ter. MAGGIE (softly) Hi, Dennis. DENNIS I am going to propose, you know. I mean, the right way. Soon as I turn eighteen. MAGGIE Youre sweet, Dennis. But youve got to go. Im closing up. Heres a dy bar and one for your brother. Dennis takes the dy and starts to go. DENNIS Im not giving up. A person shouldnt give up. Dens. Maggie is alone. She turns out the lamp she desighen on again. She turns off the other lamp on the ter as. We hold on Maggies designed lamp. CUT TO: INT. IKES HALLWAY AND APARTMENT - NIGHT Ike walks up to his door, carrying his mail and a bag of carryout. He opens the door and walks into his apartment. He pets Italics, who sits on his sofa bed. Without taking off his coat, he goes to his keyboard and plays music as he CHUFFAS to his cat about marriage and divorce. CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - DAY Dad and Grandma Julia are there. Grandma is making lunch. Walter is juggling es. Theres glass of beer on the kit ter. WALTER Thats Maggie. Home for lunch. GRANDMA JULIA Shes been doing this sihe last wedding. I dont think its good. Maggie walks in and kisses Grandma on the cheek. MAGGIE Hey. Grandma, whats for lunch? GRANDMA JULIA Turkey and cheese. WALTER Honey, yrandmother and I were thinking about opening a wedding gift museum. Walter laughs. MAGGIE STOP! Walter looks at his daughter in surprise. Hes never heard a tone like this in her voice before. WALTER What? MAGGIE (quiet fury) Just stop it. Dont say another word like that. WALTER (putting down the es) Maggie, its just a joke... MAGGIE No. Its my life. WALTER A harmless joke. MAGGIE No, its humiliating and youve been doing it since I was a kid. I dont like it. Stop. You may not like having a daughter with problems. But guess what? I dont like having a father whos drunk all the time. Ill eat in my room. Maggie takes a plate as. GRANDMA JULIA That o be said. You know -- youre always making jokes about her, so they wont make jokes about your drinking. Walter reacts. CUT TO: INT. IKES APARTMENT - DAY Ike goes out on his terrace. He bounces a basketball. It doesnt bounce. He sits oeps of the patio an stares. CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES WORKROOM/GYM - DAY Maggie is kickboxing. CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES WORKROOM/GYM - ANOTHER DAY Maggie is a bit melancholy as she works on her lamps. CUT TO: INT. IKES APARTMENT - ANOTHER DAY Ike quietly sits in bed writing and staring into space thinking. His cat sits on the windowsill. CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES WORKROOM/GYM - NIGHT Maggie jumps rope barefooted late at night. MAGGIE I need a plan... A plan to life... What would Bruce Lee do? Hed kie ass... CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES KIT - DAY Maggie in front of plates full of all sorts of types of eggs -- scrambled, poached, sunny-side up, Be, soft boiled, etc -- sits o ter. She ties them all. EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY Establishing shot. Two MEN try to fix the engine of a taxi outside the restaurant. CUT TO: EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DUSK Eke walks by the T-shirt Vendoes into a subway station. EXT. AREET - DUSK Ike crosses a busy street where a MAN is being arrested. Ike is passing the upscale "Millennium Hardware Store". He gla the window, looks away, stops and looks again. The window display is made up of an assortment of Maggies lamps. Logo "MAG" is on them. He smiles and walks on. EXT. TRAL PARK RESERVOIR - DUSK Ike stares out at water as he walks. EXT. IKES APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT Ike walks along sidewalk, crosses street, enters his building. INT. IKES APARTMENT - NIGHT Ike opens the door to his apartment and flicks on the lights. He crosses to hang his coat in the closet. In the closet mirror, he sees and is stuo find: MAGGIE, sitting on the couch holding Italics, the cat. MAGGIE Hello, Ike. He closes the closet and crosses to his desk. IKE Dont tell me. My doorman is one of your many admires... I knew I should have given him a better Christmas gift. Maggie smiles tenuously. Shes more than a little terrified. MAGGIE Ive been making friends with your cat. (then) Is it okay that Im here? IKE I dont have much choi the matter now, do I? But I t speak for Italics. (to Cat) Traitor! He moves to the kit. MAGGIE I dont blame you for being mad... Ike looks at her. Apparently the word "mad" is an uatement. MAGGIE (td) ... Or... furious. Ike looks at her again. MAGGIE (td) ... Irate? Livid? Hows that? He starts putting cat food in a bowl. The cat leaves Maggies side and starts to east. IKE Livid is good. So what is it, Maggie? You here on business? I saw your lamps. Theyre terrific. MAGGIE Its something Ive always wao do. Ike leaves the kit, turns on the baly lights aers the living room from the baly. IKE You actually could make breaking and entering into a new career. (after opening the glass doors) So, what are you doing here? MAGGIE I wao talk to you about why I run or ride away from things. Ike moves away from her and sits oeps he baly window, listening. IKE (after sitting) Does it matter? MAGGIE I think so... When I was walking down the aisle? I was walking toward somebody who didnt have any idea who I really was. And it was only half the other persons fault, because I had done everything to vince him that I was exactly what he wanted. So it was good that I didnt gh with it because it would have been a lie, but you -- you khe real me. IKE Yes, I did. MAGGIE I didnt. And you being the o the end of the aisle didnt just fix that. Ike takes this in. Shes reag him -- but then the defenses go back up. He turns to her. IKE No, I couldnt fix anything... (as he gets up) But I still ended up chasing a truck. Ike moves out to the baly. After a moment, Maggie follows him. EXT. BALY/IKESAPARTMENT - NIGHT The baly overlooks tral Park. The twinkling lights of the city stretch out across the beautiful night. Ike looks out at the view with his baaggie as she speaks. MAGGIE I uand why y up the truck. Let me explain something. The fact is, youve see my worst, most embarrassing, deviously plotting, potentially but not certifiably, psychotic state. And if you liked me then, I mean, now... I t imagine... (crosses to him) Be. Ike has no response. MAGGIE (td) I love eggs Be. I hate all the other kinds. She hesitates. MAGGIE (td) ... I hate big weddings with everybody staring. I would like to get married on a weekday while everybody is at work. If I ride off into the su, I want my own horse. IKE Should I be writing this down? She returns to the baly and hands him the box. IKE (td) Whats this? MAGGIE These are for you. He opens it. Its her running shoes. IKE Used? MAGGIE Theyre mine. Im turning in my running shoes to you. IKE This is getting serious. Now she is glowing at him, shining with the full force of her. MAGGIE And one more thing. I know its hard to believe there could be more. Um... Maggie glances around and spots a DECK CHAIR, which she turns so it is fag the city lights. Then she softly says: MAGGIE (td) If you could have a seat, please. Ike sits. Maggie takes the box from him and puts it aide. And thes down on one knee. IKE (laughing) Oh my God. No. Maggie smiles up at him. Ike tips his head bad covers his eyes with his hand. MAGGIE No, no -- dont hide your face, this only happens on a lifetime. Its definitely a first to me, and youre not going to want to miss it. He smiles as he looks at Maggie. MAGGIE (td) I love you, Homer Eisenhraham. Will you marry me? Ike swallows, overwhelmed, overjoyed, and scared shitless. IKE Maggie, I gotta think about this a little bit. Maggie hops cheerfully back to her feet. MAGGIE (cheerful) Good. She gets off her knees and stands. MAGGIE (td) I was hoping youd say that. IKE (laughing) You were not. MAGGIE I was, because if you said "yes&quht away, I wouldo say this part. And Ive been practig it. (pulling up a chair and sitting) Ready? IKE Im listening. MAGGIE (tenderly) "I guarahat well have tough times. I guarahat at some point one or both oof us will want to get out. But I also guarahat if I dont ask you to be mine, Ill regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart -- youre the only one for me". Ike takes her hands affeately. IKE Pretty good speech, Maggie. MAGGIE I borrowed it from this guy I know. So? Ike looks into Maggies shining fad pauses. He gets up and motions with his hand for her to stay seated. He goes inside and turns on some music. The cat is sitting by the radio. He returns to the baly and takes Maggies hand. IKE Dah me. They start to dance a slow dance. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. LARGE GREEN FIELD - DAY We see a hill and on top of it is a Pastor marrying Maggie and Ike, iiful wedding attire. We see Maggie walk down a leaf-lined aisle to a waiting Ike. They kiss as we hear the vows ahem each say "I do". They kiss a twirling, whirling kiss, a circular kiss. We hear the applause of about twenty people. Slowly, we see the twenty people e over the crest of the hill. They are all Maggies family and friends, plus the old grooms. They are all paired in twos, like a love Noahs ark. We see et the news. INT. CHURCH - DAY Priest Brian hears about Maggies wedding. INT. BAKERY - DAY Mrs. Trout hears about Maggies wedding. INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY Gee, Groom #3, hears about Maggies wedding. INT. ELLIES OFFICE OR APARTMENT - DAY Ellie and Fisher hear about Maggies wedding. EXT. FIELD - DAY ANLE: Maggie and Ike finally break the kiss. Ike takes her hand and walks her to two horses. Ike and Maggie, owo horses, ride off happily in their wedding clothes. As the group cheers, Maggie throws bouquet. We see it float in the air. FADE TO BLACK. THE END PART 2 INT. HARDWARE STORE - TINUOUS Peggy and Mrs. Pressmaer, worried. MRS. PRESSMAN You tell Maggie. PEGGY No, you tell her. MRS. PRESSMAN No, no. Youre her best friend. PEGGY No. MRS. PRESSMAN (holding her neer) You know, its just possible that she hashis yet. PEGGY Yeah. MRS. PRESSMAN Maybe she hashe paper... On the ter, they see a copy of USA Today opeo the article about Maggie. MRS. PRESSMAN (td) ... Or not! We follow MAGGIE down the back stairs ihe Hale Hardware Store, the prettiest, most weling shop of its kind anywhere in small town USA. Somehow the place ha taken on the spirit of the owners daughter; both stop and shop-girl radiate brightness, charm, and possibility. Maggie es down steps with a faucet handle and goes to an elderly er, MR. PAXTON. MAGGIE (bright) Here we go! Oique hot water hah the "HOT" still on it, guarao fit any Ameri Standard cast iron tub with a four-inch ter made between 1924 and 1938. In other words, I think youre out of the doghouse with Mrs. Paxton. MR. PAXTON (amazed) Hallelujah. MAGGIE Alright, Mr. Paxton, Ill put it on your at. Maggie rounds the bend, another er, EARL, stands by the paint mae. EARL Maggie. MAGGIE (walking past er) You dont need an air ditioner, Earl, you just need an atti -- Theres more in the back. Maggie steps behind the front ter of the store and takes the at book out. Her voice trails off as she sees the dour expression on the faces of her friends. MAGGIE (td) What? Peggy nervously mentions the neer. PEGGY (delicate) So -- Mag -- youve seen this, huh? MAGGIE (serious) Yes, Ive seen it. And I have to say its the rudest and most offensive... joke anybodys ever played on me! To their amazement, Maggie starts smiling. MAGGIE (td) You guys! How long did this take you? Maggie stays amused. MAGGIE (td) Whered you get this done? (laughing) You creeps! I should disinvite you! And why did you say seven times? This is four. PEGGY Uh, Maggie, you told us to bachelorette jokes, so we didnt... Maggie looks at the stri face of her friends. MRS. PRESSMAN Holy moly. Peggy looks like she is going to cry with sympathy fgie. Maggie is starting to feel unfortable. She looks down, dubiously, at the paper. MAGGIE Um, you know, now would be a good moment to tell me this is fake. (no response) It wont be funny if y it out. Okay? (no response) Okay, well... I mean, I find out... Real neers smear. Phoney papers dont. She picks up the paper and brushes it against her apron, leaving an INK SMEAR!! She nearly kneels over. MAGGIE (td) (sitting) Bag. Peggy and Mrs. Pressman immediately spring to her side. They give her a bag to breathe in. MRS. PRESSMAN Bag. CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES WORKOUT ROOM/GYM - NIGHT We see Maggie kickboxing in ahe radio is on. She suddenly stops, yanks Ikes article off the wall, leaves her workout area and goes to her desk. ANGLE ON DESK AREA: She turns off the radio and begins to type her letter. MAGGIE (V.O.) "Dear Editor..." EXT. MANHATTAN - DAY - ESTABLISHING SHOT As Maggies VOICE-OVER tio read her letter, we take in a Manhattan busy day. It is big, loud, and anonymous. MAGGIE (V.O.; td) "Greeting from the sticks! Perhaps you believe that a rural education is focused mainly on hog calling and traainteher than reading. Why else would you print a piece of fictbbr>99lｉb?ion about me and call it fact?" Te CAMERA FINDS Ike, striding across a busy street, dodging taxies. A WOMAN smacks him with a neer. He passes a WOMAN TRAFFIC OFFICER, then a hot dog stand. He greets and passes a FALAFEL VENDOR. THE CAMERA PANS to a USA Today Truck. MAGGIE (V.O.; td) "I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy thinking us slanderous statements about how I dump men for kicks to bother with something silly like accura rep. Which is uandable, because with a "maer" like me on the loose, who has time to check facts?" EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCKS - TINUOUS He passes regular GUYS who cheer him. MAGGIE (V.O.; td) "Still, we ibalistic queens get pretty ky when we see things in print that hurt our feelings, like that we deliberately abandon fiances with malice aforethought." INT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCKS - TINUOUS He ee>?rs the neer building, going to Ellies office. INT. USA TODAY OFFICE - TINUOUS He walks through the crowded city room. His arrival attracts a lot of attention from his CO-WORKERS. Ike seems a little surprised, but hes pleased. MAGGIE (V.O.; td) "Thats why I was surprised to find Mr. Grahams editor was a woman. Call me a seal fool, but I sort of hoped we maer could stick together." Ike works his way down the hall to the editors office. CHUFFA Ike greets various workers. He steps up to the editors secretary, ELAINE. She doesnt smile. IKE (to Elaine) Ill put in a good word for you. ELAINE No, no, doion my name in there. IKE Why? A buzz. ELAINE You go in now. Ike goes into Ellies office. Elaine picks up her phone. CUT TO: INT. ELLIES OFFICE - TINUOUS ELLIE is that editor. Stylish and successful looking, shes about Ikes age. Ellie sits behind a big desk with a scowl on her pretty face. Her casual-looking husband, Fisher, sits nonchalantly on the arm of the couch. Ike enters as Ellie reads Maggies letter. ELLIE (readier) "Anyway, Im just dropping you big city folk this little o say that I have thought of a ritual sacrifice that would satisfy my current appetite: Ike Grahams n on a platter. Yours truly, Maggie Carpenter. P.S. -- I have inclosed a list of the gross factual misrepresentations in your article. There are fifteen." Ike sits as Ellie puts the letter down and takes off her glasses. IKE (chuckles as he sits) Fully. I like her. She has wit. ELLIE I left four messages. You dourn my calls. IKE So? I never returned your calls, even when we were married. And whats Fisher doing here anyway? Fisher gets and places a photo of the cat on a bookshelf on his way to the other side of the room. FISHER Ellie asked me to e down to offer moral support. IKE Since when does Ellie need moral supp-- ELLIE -- Its for you, Ike. IKE What? ELLIE Journalism lesson >number one. If you fabricate your facts, you get fired. Ellie pushes USA Today lawyers letter across the desk for him to read. Ike picks it up and skims the letter. His face is as impassive as stone. IKE Lesson wo. Never work for your former spouse. ELLIE Thats not nothing to do with it. You cooked this story up and you know it. IKE I didnt cook up a story. I had a source. ELLIE Someone reliable, Im sure. A booze- hound in a bar? FISHER In vias. IKE Dont knock drunk guys in bars. Drunk guys in bars are good. It means theyre not driving. Ike gets up and stands near Ellie, making his point. IKE (td) Besides, Im a nist. This is what nists are supposed to do. This is what you like. We push, we stretch, we go out on a limo. Thats what makes me good! ELLIE No, thats what makes you unemployed. IKE I merely write the stuff. Youre the ohat serves it up. Ike puts dowter and puts his glasses bato his pocket. ELLIE Not anymore. I have to draw the line. (pushing a piece of paper) She sent us this list. Our lawyers say its aable. Ellie hands Ike Maggies list. IKE (scoffs) Lawyers. (gla list) I dont know, Ellie -- Firing me is going to be very tough on you. Its going to be hard to get over. There will be therapy bills for you. ELLIE (shrugs) I already made an appoi for later today. IKE (putting the list down, standing) See? You want custody of my job? ... Why not just sider my wrist slapped and call me when you feel Ive served my time? ELLIE Im sorry, Ike. This is perma. Fisher winces and looks away. Ike and Ellie look at each other for a sober moment. ELLIE (V.O.; td) If you go quietly, Ill get you severance pay. Ellie fidgets with her toy rake, then Ike heads for the door. He laughs a little at the painful truth of her words and walks out. Ellie collapses ba her chair. Fisher goes to her and rubs her shoulders. PART 3 EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY Ike rides sadly on the back of a forklift, gets off and walks out. EXT. HALE RESIDENTIAL STREET - ANOTHER M ANGLE ON MAGGIES HOUSE: A train goes by. A modest clapboard house with a porch. Two entrances. A PAPERBOY tosses a paper onto the lawn in front of the house. The front door opens and Maggie appears fresh out of bed, wearing only a jacket and panties. Heedless of being seen this way, she scampers out to the sidewalk to pick up her delivered paper: USA Today. She tears off the plastic bag and rips into it, looking for her letter. She finds it. A smile on her face, then she scampers bato the house. INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - THAT MOMENT Maggie skips bato her house which she shares with Father and Grandma. A cozy and eclectic place creatively furnished on a shoe-string. She rushes into: KIT WHERE BOB KELLY, fiance #4, is pag s into a backpack. Bob, 38, has a pleasant fad a body that is almost shogly buff. Hes wearing a T-shirt that reads: "Mountaineers Do It Against the Wall.", Maggie dances over, waving the paper and singing. MAGGIE She ed him, she ed him... Bob test the weight of the backpack adding dehydrate food. BOB e here, Mag, and try this on. Maggie puts the paper o ter and starts to read aloud, paying no mind to Bob, who is stig her arms through the straps of the backpack. MAGGIE Listen: "Dear Ms. Carpenter, I apologize to you for this unfortunate matter. Ike Grahams n will no longer be appearing in this paper. Best of lu you uping marriage!" Bob tio hold up the weight of the backpack as he straps it onto Maggies shoulders. BOB That-a-girl! You sacked him. (cheg pack) This is the weight of the pack youre going to have to carry in the Himalayas. Tell me if its too heavy. Bob lets go and Maggie FALLS BACKWARD, disappearing behind the ter, and hitting the floor, with a THUD. Bob looks down at her. Maggies voice rises from the floor behind the ter. MAGGIE (o.s.) Its a little... Its a little heavy... Help me, baby. Bob has no answer. He reaches a hand down. He yelps as Maggie pulls him down on top of her, out of frame. We HEAR them giggle and kiss. INT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - ANOTHER DAY Fisher uses the dock for a photo shoot featuring men and women in evening and formal wear from Escada f.Q. Fisher is not actually shooting the camera, but rather supervising it. Fisher claps his hands and calls the models to attention. Then he goes onto the stage ahe models in their positions. FISHER (td) Remember, utting the "fun" back into formal. (to Ike) I just say that for the agency guys. I dont even know what that means. Now follow me. INT. USA TODAY OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY Elevator doors open. Ike and Fisher exit and walk towards the coffee table. FISHER Ike, I really liked the Runaway Bride piece, and since I do freelauff f.Q., Im in a different position now... IKE What are y to say to me, Fish? They stop walking. FISHER Vindication. How would you like to get some? A ce to prove that, th..ough your facts wereirely straight, your theory was correct. IKE (hiding his hope) The real story on Miss Carpenter. FISHER All the gory details. They start walking again. IKE (excited) The anatomy of the black widow spider of Maryland. FISHER It wouldnt be a bad way to get you bato writiure pieces again. IKE (enthusiastically) This is good. It is a good story, Fish. They stop at the coffee table and grab something to eat. FISHER (nods) If she runs, then its a cover story. All true. All accurate. IKE (fesses) Okay, you were right. I hated my n, but I do this assig. FISHER Then youve got it. If you leave tomorrow for the hinterlands, youll have plenty of time before her wedding trot. IKE "Paid vindication" Thats what I call justice. FISHER Justice, yes. Paid, I dont know. They like the idea, but my hands are tied with budget restraints. IKE But Ill get my normal fee, right? He walks away. IKE You wao do it on spec?! He follows him. CUT TO: EXT. MARYLAND HIGHWAY - DAY We see Ike driving down the highway. The car sputters a little as he and Fisher tiheir versation in voice-over. (If needed by the editor.) FISHER (V.O.) Dont say "spec" like its a dirty word. Nobody ever paid Shakespeare to write a play! Plato never got a book advance... IKE (V.O.) Oh yeah! I happen to know from reliable sources that zche got expenses and a rental car. We hear Fisher laugh. IKE (V.O.; td) Im going to make this work, Fish. Im going to do it! Ikes car drives into Hale, passing a billboard reading, "Wele to Hale." CUT TO: EXT. HALE STREET - DAY Ike drives down picturesque Main Street. He passes Hale Hardware. Sign says: "At Curl. Be back soon." EXT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - DAY A BARBERSHOP QUARTET is singing in front of the only hotel in town. Ike pulls up and goes inside. INT. LOBBY/ATLANTIC HOTEL - DAY Ike has checked into the Atlantic Hotel. The clerk, LEE, hands him his key. Ike asks about room servid the restaurant. An OLDER WOMAN asks him if he plays bridge as he goes up the stairs to his room. EXT. HALE MAIN STREET - DAY Ike exits his hotel as the Barber Shop Quartet finishes singing "Camptown Races." He now walks down the charming main artery of the town, looking exactly like what he is: a iew York out of his element on sunny Main Street, USA. KIDS ride by on bikes, streaming balloons behind them. A balloon hits Ike on the face. As he crosses the street, he mutters into his tape recorder: IKE I think Im in Maryberry. Flags hang on all the storefronts and the place sparkles with wholesome attitudes as PEOPLE greet each other familiarly. Ike es to beauty parlor called "Curl Up and Dye". The place is doing business and crowded with WOMEN. INT. BEAUTY PARLOR - DAY dy, the manicurist, does Mrs. Pressmans nails. Maggie sits on the floor o Peggys salon chair, fixing the base of a barber chair. She tightens a screw and looks up, satisfied. dys dog is on the floor near Maggie. MAGGIE dy, you better 86 Sprout. He seems to be enjoying the petroleum distillates. dy rolls over in her chair, picks up her dog and rolls back to her station. DY Thats it. Back to obedience school. MAGGIE (to Peggy) Okay -- have a seat... gently, carefully. Peggy sits in the chair. Maggie spins her around and around. PEGGY (delighted as she spins) Youre a goddess! MAGGIE I didnt eveo ge this gasket, just put in a little hydraulic fluid. PEGGY Stop it. When you talk like that, I get turned on and it frightens me. JUST THEN. Ike ehe salon, taking off his sunglasses. Peggy hops off the chair. IKE Hello. Im looking fgie Carpehere was a sign at the hardware store across the street... PEGGY Are you a reporter? Its a little early in the game for Ike to be thrown off guard. IKE (shocked) What? PEGGY (eyeing his loafers) Its been our experiehat anyone with some sort of gewgaw on his loafers ends up being an city reporter wanting to interview Maggie. IKE About her uping wedding and all. PEGGY No, about her getting that asshole from New York fired. Ike smiles down at his loafers and shr?.ugs. IKE I am just such a reporter. And you are? PEGGY Peggy Phleming. Not the ice skater. Peggy steps aside. Ike moves toward dy and Mrs. Pressman. IKE And who are these lovely ladies? Te ladies shake his hand and introduce themselves. DY dy. Maggies unmarried cousin. MRS. PRESSMAN Mrs. Pressman. ion. PEGGY And you are? IKE (turning toward her) Looking fgie. PEGGY Yep. Maggie -- Someoo see you. Maggie looks over from her sitting position on the floor. She gives Ike the once-over, fog on the shoes. MAGGIE (yelling to Peggy) Reporter? PEGGY Yup! Ike crouches to see Maggie on the floor just as she rises to her feet. Ike straightens up. For a moment, he is thrown by her beauty and intelligent eyes. MAGGIE I hope you have a different angle. Its pretty much all been covered. IKE inality is my speciality. MAGGIE Excellent. PEGGY Hold on -- Nobody interviews Maggie in here uheyre getting haircut. MAGGIE Shes the boss. IKE Sorry, no. I just got one. MRS. PRESSMAN (to Ike) Excuse me, sir. I have an actual fact for you. IKE (steps to Mrs. Pressman) Yes, Mrs. Pressman. MRS. PRESSMAN Its her fourth time to the altar, you know. Not seven like they said. IKE I know. Tell me something. Do you think shes going to make it all the way this time? During the Ike/Mrs. Pressman exge, Maggie looks at Ike. Theres something familiar about him. She looks over at Peggy and bes her to a copy of Ikes n affixed to a mirror. A goatee and horns, have been scrawled on Ikes byline picture. Hes been "devilized". Peggy coughs as she reizes Ike in the neer clipping. MAGGIE She swallowed her gun. PART 4 EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY Mrs. Pressman tinues her story to Ike. MRS. PRESSMAN Im not sure. Mr. Schullian runs the and, hes our local bookie, you know, hes givi to one odds she wont. He says shes so famous now, maybe Vegas will give odds on her. Im going to wait to hear what the pros say. IKE Good fact. Well, you let me know. MRS. PRESSMAN Oh, I will. ANGLE ON: Maggie indicates n to Peggy. She looks over at the part of the shop used to wash and dye hair. Theres a sink, stool and a et affixed to the wall above sink, which holds various shampoos and hair dyes. Maggie gets an idea. Maggie and Peggy step forward toward Ike. MAGGIE Well, instead of a haircut, how about a wash? You know, get all that city grit out of it. IKE Youll answer my questions? Maggie nods affirmatively. IKE (td) (removing his jacket) Fine. You wash, Ill ask the questions. PEGGY Great. Ike hands Peggy his jacket. A mystified Peggy leads Ike to the sink. While she does this... MAGGIE Have a seat. Peggy, why dont you give him the special treatment that strehe follicles. Ike sits in the chair he sink. Maggie shakes out a smock and puts it around Ike. MAGGIE (td) So, what do you want to know? Ike leans as his head on the sink. Peggy bends over him as his hair. She grabs various hair c products. IKE Getting nervous? MAGGIE Nervous? Not at all! No. Ive never been more certain in my life. Except -- I am having all kinds of weird dreams. Ike pulls the cloth down from over his face. IKE Weird dreams? Yoing to tell me about them? MAGGIE Yes. PEGGY (calming) Lets just put this back here for the aromatherapy. Peggy recovers his face, then tio fuss with the hair c products. Maggie helps. INT. BEAUTY PARLOR - LATER Ike sits with a towel over his head as Peggy blow-dries the back of his head. His back is to the mirror, his body faces Maggie. dy does her own nails as Mrs. Pressman scratches off lottery tickets. The dog, Sprout, sits in is basket. MAGGIE In another one... PETE, wearing a hat, es in the front door of the salon. PEGGY Hey, Pete, Ill be right with you. Ike peeks out from under his towel as Maggie tinues. MAGGIE Im ihe church. Everyone I know is there, only theyre not really them. Theyre like Fraein monsters, but without the bolts ing out of their necks. Its all very "Night of the Living Dead". And heres the creepiest part -- I look down at my dress and its red. I mean, I have no idea what it means. Reds not my color! Ike listens ily and stares steadily into her eyes. Peggy removes the towel. His hair is divided into equal parts and dyed e and red. MAGGIE (td) So what do you think? Ike stares back at her, the tickle of suspi creeping up his spine. IKE I think youd look good in red. PEGGY No, shes talking about your hair. Maggie swivels his chair so that Ike faces the mirror. Ike looks at his brightly colored hair. MAGGIE Youre all ready for football season, Mr. Graham. Ike stares at his hair in total fusion. With icy calm, Ike rises from his chair and primps the end of his hair as if giving it the finishing touches. Then he sees his defaeer clipping and all bees clear. He picks up the article and shows it to everyone. Ike does a slow burn. IKE Yes, I think I he personality profile of the women of Hale. Ike turns and puts the clipping up on the mirror. IKE (td) (to Peggy) My jacket, please. Peggy hands him his jacket. IKE (td) (sarcastically) Thank you. Ike moves toward the door. He spots Pete. IKE (td) (putting on jacket; to Pete) Excuse me, Pete, do you knolace that sells shampoo... Strong shampoo? PETE Docs Pharmacy. Third and Elm. Tell him Pete sent you. Want my hat? IKE No thanks. Ike smiles at Maggie as. MAGGIE (to Peggy) He seems crabby. CUT TO: EXT. MAIN STREET - DAY In front of beauty salon, Maggie follows Ike out. MAGGIE If youre looking for Elm Street, its that way. She puts on her sunglasses. IKE Thank you. He walks the other way. MAGGIE If you came down here in the pursuit of happiness, you might as well go back. Because you t make me feel bad. She stops walking and turns to Ike. IKE Im not here to make you feel bad. Im here for vindication. In my heart... MAGGIE You have one? Ike walks baaggie. IKE I feel Im right about you. You got me fired, lady. You destroyed my reputation and you screwed up my hair. You chew men up, spit them out and loved it. And Im dowo satisfy myself on that point. PASSERSBY stare at Ikes hair and giggle. MAGGIE Did something happen to make you care about reality? IKE Yes. vi. vi that Im onto the truth. Yoing to do the same thing to "poor bastard number four" that you did to the last three. Youre going to run again. And Im not leaving until you do. MAGGIE Yoing to be very disappointed. IKE Well see. MAGGIE Id love to stay and chat, but Ive got to get back 藏书网to work. I still have my job. He stares at her for a beat, stung by her words. MAGGIE I have nothing to hide, Mr. Graham. Talk to whoever you want. You might actually stumble upon a fact or two. Maggie walks away. Ike walks a few steps and stops at a KID on a bike. IKE Hey, kid, Ill give you ten bucks for your hat. Kid agrees. Ike puts the hat on and starts to cross the street. An OLD WOMAN walks by and hits him with a neer. Ike is stunned. EXT. MAGGIES HOUSE - DUSK Maggie pulls into the driveway iruck. Shes in a fine mood as she walks right in the house. INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - DUSK Bob, Walter, and Maggies GRANDMOTHER JULIA sit in the living room. Grandma is sewing one of Maggies wedding veils. Walter drinks wine, Ike wears a hat. WALTER You know, when I only see one dog, I know Ive had too much to drink. Te family dog, Skipper, sits near a ceramic dog table. Maggie smiles as she walks in the front door and puts dowool box and bag. MAGGIE Youll never guess who came crawling into town with his tail between his legs. IKE (o.s.) Who? Maggie ehe parlor to see Ike smiling evilly from his seat on the couch. IKE (td) (ily) Hello, Maggie. I just came by to apologize to your family. (looks to Walter) When Im wrong, Im wrong. I pushed a story. I made a mistake. WALTER In other words -- hes only human. An he brought us a bottle of wine. Raises the bottle to Maggie. IKE They made me put my hat ba. WALTER Oh, yeah. Scared the hell out of Skipper. MAGGIE Youve got to be kidding me. Maggie stares at them both. BOB (enjoying the moment) No, no, you should have seen Skipper. (then, imitates growling) It wasnt that funny. Maggie gives him a look that says, "You are not absolved." She smiles stiffly, looking back at Ike. She then sits on the arm of Bobs chair abbr>nd puts her arm on his shoulder. MAGGIE So, the forces of good and evil have already met. Maggie takes the witle from the table o Walter. She snaps a look to Bob, who follows her. BOB Ill help you take into the kit. GRANDMA JULIA Che the crabs, Bob. We overhear them murmuring in aones about the wedding plans as they exit... Walter puts down his drink. IKE Gee, I hope they dont have a fight out there. You dont think theyll call it off...? WALTER Well, wedding cake freezes. This we know. IKE You know, your daughter seems... Ike notices that hes beeo the veil. GRANDMA JULIA Sorry. IKE Thats okay, Grandma. Grandma cuts the thread and separates the veil from Ikes sleeve. IKE (td) (tinuing his thought) ... Like such a lovely girl. Walter points to a portrait painting on the wall. WALTER Like her mother. IKE (seeing the portrait) Ah, beautiful. (gets up to admire the portrait) I just t see her leaving multiple grooms in the dust like that. GRANDMA JULIA Oh, yes, you . Shes has em all on tape. IKE She has a tape? WALTER (good-natured) Yeah. Lee at the hotel videos wedding. I mean Maggie didnt know she was going to make the hundred-yard dash. Walter gestures to a pile of video cassettes on the bookcase. Ike checks oapes. . They get up and go to the dining room. DISSOLVE TO: PART 5 INT. DINNING ROOM/MAGGIES HOUSE - NIGHT The family dog, Skipper, steals food from the table. Walter scolds him. Walter whacks his crab with his hammer and Ike copies him. WALTER (td) Emma and I were only blessed with one child, not for lag . MAGGIE This is good, Dad, dont leave anything out. Ikes hammer flies out of his hand. He goes to pick it up. WALTER So Ive e to see it as a bonus, really, that weve been able to plan, and pay for, so many weddings. MAGGIE Not this ohis ones on me. Walter reacts. IKE Thats fair. MAGGIE Despite what you think, I dont do it on purpose. And I have no iion of doing it again. BOB Thats right, Maggie. Just keep your eye on the ball. Ike raises his eyebrows iion. Bob explains. BOB (td) Sports psychology. It was my major in college. IKE Ahh. BOB (false modesty) Im the towns unofficial fitness trainer. Big advocate of the mind and body bining for success. You could say or you quote me, Im a glass half full king of guy. MAGGIE (boasting) Bobs the head of the P.E. department at the high school. And he coaches the football team. And hes climbed Everest. To Maggies satisfa, Ike shoots Bob a look of begrudging respeobody whos been up Everest is a total . IKE (impressed) Everest. Is that right? MAGGIE Twice... IKE Really? MAGGIE (stig it to Ike) Without oxygen... BOB My girl likes t about me. Bob and Maggie kiss Ike two little love-birds. BOB (td) Im takirekking on Annapurna on our honeymoon. Ike is highly amused. IKE How romantic. MAGGIE (sharply) We think so. IKE Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed with two Sherpas and a yak. Walter cracks up, Maggie shoots Ike a look. He smiles back. CUT TO: INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM/INT. FISHER AND ELLIES BEDROOM (NYC) I TELEPHONE VERSATION Fisher and Ellie are exerg. Fisher is on a cycle mae. Ellie does yoga stretches. Ike sits ba the couch, puts on his glasses and watches a video taped wedding playing oV s. Superimposed titles read "Brian Norris wedding." IKE (to Fisher; into phone) You wont believe what Im looking at, Fisher. A videotape of all three train wrecks. THE TV - CLOSE Two flirls and Peggy enter a crowded church where the groom, Brian, and his best man wait at the altar. Now we see Maggie e down the aisle, then ast the altar. We see Maggie move away another aisle and out of the church. SHOCKED WEDDING GUESTS rise in horror, as she runs from this first wedding. She drags the train boy up the sed aisle as she leaves. Ike hangs up. He gets up to pick up the remote and then sits back down to watch. The tape fast-forwards to the wedding. Now Ike is looking at a much more relaxed, hipper, backyard wedding. It says, "Gill Chavez Wedding". He hits the fast-forward button (sometimes slowing down). ON TV: We see the Carpenters backyard. It is Gill and Maggies wedding day. The yard is crowded with a MIXTURE of Hells Aypes, Deadheads and townspeople. The "altar" is a band platfainst the back fence. G..ill is waiting on the platform with a robo playing Grateful Dead-type music. He makes an introductory speech. Maggie steps out onto the back porch. Shes beautiful in a hippie-type wedding ensemble. She walks with her father to a trampoline. We see her tattoo. She jumps orampoline, then dives into the crowd. They watch her and body surf her over their heads to the back fence. As she hits the stage, she looks at Peggy and Gill, then decides to go. She jumps off the stage and runs up to a passing GUY on a dirt bike. She jumps on and turns and waves as she rides away. During the video, Ike scribbles: "Gill Chavez". Maggie goes off on dirt bike. The tape fast-forwards to the last of Maggies fiascoes. OV He now sees the third wedding. Its outdoors, in a tree lined area, MUSIS plays. Ike laughs as he discovers that Maggie approaches the altar on horseback, in a simple white dress, wearing a of flowers. The Maid Marian look. Ike slows the tape. ON TV: IT SAYS, "GEE SWILLING WEDDING". As Maggie rides down the aisle, suddenly the horse whinnies! Maggie has kicked it in the shins. It rears and bolts, galloping off with the bride. Ike FREEZE FRAMES the tape on an image of Maggie, hair blowing. Although she is panic-stri, her soul seems to shihrough in tat single frame. As Ike stares at her, the smirk fades from his face. He just looks at her, allowing himself to see her expression, her eyes. He t help it. She gets to him. Ike gets a restless look on his face. He stares closely. The groom is Gee from the bar. IKE Kamikaze! CUT TO: EXT. TE TROUT BAKERY - THE DAY Establishing. High angle wide shot of a bakery in Hale. Ike exits a neighb shop and walks down the block. He pauses in front of the bakery to take a look at Maggies truck. As he does, a middle-aged BlaAN walks by and whacks him with a neer. Ike is stunned as she walks off. He turns to a MAN sitting on a bench. IKE Did you see that? CUT TO: INT. THE TROUT BAKERY - TINUOUS CLOSE ON a group of plastis and brides on a ter top. MRS. TROUT is behind the ter helping Maggie with a sele of grooms for her wedding cake. The groom figures are spread out on the ter. All sizes and colors, some attached to brides, some solo, some tuxes, some in dinner jackets. MRS. TROUT This ones very popular, but oh, youve used this one before... Brian. But I like the white dinner jacket. MAGGIE No, hes no good. Too blond. MRS. TROUT (picks up another) Well go with total traditional. MAGGIE Too dark. Then, Ike es up behind her as she discards anroom. IKE But hes got the Bobsters eyes. Maggie ges at the sound of Ikes voice. IKE (td) No -- the Bobsters eyes are closer set. She ignores him and tinues her search. IKE (contd) (to Mrs. Trout) Could I have two coffees, please? And what is that wonderful smell? (seeing the amon rolls) Ill have two of those delicious looking amon rolls. MRS. TROUT Sure. (pig up a miniature bride) Here, Maggie. I think this makes the best you. Mrs. Trout steps away to get his order. Ike moves to the other side of Maggie and picks up the bride and groom figure. IKE Lets see... Excuse me, isnt that cute? Ahh... He makes the bride figure repeatedly knock the groom figure in the head and run away screaming. IKE (td) Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam! Oh, help me! Help me! Yup! Thats her all right. Mrs. Trout just about bursts a gut laughing. Maggie takes the bride from Ike coldly. MRS. TROUT You must be that Mr. Graham fellow. Ike turns and goes to her. IKE Yes, I am. And who are you? MRS. TROUT Betty Trout. Five dollars. IKE (as he pays) Oh, Betty. I take it yoing to be making the wedding cake and they say youre throwing -- MRS. TROUT (interrupting) -- The luau fgie. She starts pig lint off his sleeve and buttons his cuff. MAGGIE (all smiles for Mrs. Trout) Grandma made me the cutest outfit. I t wait to show it to you. IKE (ical delight) A pre-wedding luau? MRS. TROUT Yes. My husband and I love luaus. Itll be fun. Mrs. Trout turns and grabs Ikes bag taining two coffees. IKE Fun? Fun isnt the word. Mrs. Trout beams. Maggie uands his answer a little better. Mrs. Trout hands Ike his items and he pays. MRS. TROUT If youre still in town, you should stop by. MAGGIE No, Im sure he doesnt. IKE (to Mrs. Trout) Actually, I would love to e. (taps her service bell) Thank you. Thank you so much. Maggie steps over, carrying her bride and groom figure choices. MAGGIE (exasperated) Is that what yoing to do now? Follow me around everywhere I go? Ike smiles at Maggie enigmatically as he picks up his order and heads for the door. IKE No. He starts to leave with his bag. Mrs. Trout stops him. MRS. TROUT (handing him the ) Your two amon rolls. IKE Bye, Betty. Thanks. He leaves. MAGGIE Hes not a nice person. Maggie hands Mrs. Trout her bride and broom figures. Maggie looks at Mrs. Trout, suddenly nervous. She dashes out. Mrs. Trout imitates Ike bamming the bride and groom, laughing. CUT TO: PART 6 EXT. HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY Various High School SPORTS TEAMS practice. Maggie strides across the football field, a scowl on her face. A few HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL PLAYERS job past Maggie, doing laps. A boy, KENDALL, calls out to her affeately as she passes. One of them, DENNIS, slows his pace to run alongside Maggie. DENNIS (playful) Maggie, dont marry Coach! Marry me. I love you. MAGGIE Youre jail bait, Dennis. Go away. Run your laps. Go. Go. Dennis runs on as Maggie tioward her goal: Bob and Ike, standing together oher side of the field. ANGLE ON BOB AND IKE Theyre both standing on the blog sled. Wave after wave of VARSITY FOOTBALL PLAYERS ram into the sled and drive it across the field with both Ike and Bob on top of it. Ike is mung on one of the amon rolls as Bob pushes the KIDS. BOB Drive! Drive! From your hips, get low, get low, get low. ! Ike smiles broadly atop of the sled as he sees Maggie approag, looking mighty peeved. He nudges Bob and points to Maggie. Bob lights up at the sight of her. BOB (td) Good job, gentlemen... Special teams. The football players move away from the sled. Bob moves to Maggie, leaves Ike alone. BOB (td) (to Maggie) Hey, honey! Bob kisses and embraces Maggie. She doesnt see Ike immediately, then: MAGGIE (indig Ike) What is he up to now? BOB Ike just came by to check out the team. IKE And talk about you. Ike grins and shows Maggie the notes in his pocket. MAGGIE Bob -- are you making friends with this man? BOB Im just bragging about how great you are. Im the luckiest man alive. Bob grabs Maggie around the waist and smooches her adly. Maggie scowls at Ike. He nods, all charm. IKE Well -- Ive got to get moving -- lot of work to do today! Ill see you two love-birds later. Ike leaves. Bob calls after him. BOB See you at the wedding. IKE You bet ya, Coach. Maggie is aghast. She stares at Bob. Ike joins in behind a line of peppy cheerleaders. MAGGIE At the wedding? You invite him? Bob, dont you realize hes writing another article about me? BOB Sure I do. But the bet defense is a good offense, right? Youre not going to let your oppohrow you off yame. MAGGIE You dont uand this guy. BOB Let him e to the wedding. Youre not running, right? Say it. "Im not..." MAGGIE (irritably) Im not running. BOB So if youre not running and Ike Graham is there to see it, then any article he writes has got to have a happy ending, right? All were doing is turning lemon into lemonade. MAGGIE Ive got news for you. No amount of sugar and water is going to turn like Graham into something you want to take on a piic. Bob gives Maggie a big hug. BOB Wheres that homemade sunshine? Bob blows his whistle, then puts Maggie on the football sled. BOB (td) I want you boys to take my princess on the ride of her life... Hoell em where you parked your car. Maggie screams as the boys push her down the football field. INT. FESSIONAL BOOTH/CHURCH - DAY Maggie kneels, hands folded reverently. The booths grate opens before her. MAGGIE Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was... ahh... She tries to recall. MAGGIE (td) ... Anyway, I have sort of a teical question here. Ive been having -- bad thoughts. I mean, really bad thoughts ... PRIEST Of an impure nature? MAGGIE No -- like -- Im having a problem with that whole turher-cheek cept. I want revenge. I want to destroy this guys life, career, everything. On the sin scale, how big is that? I mean, I "Hail Mary" my way out of it? PRIEST Child, any sin in ones heart is... MAGGIE (impatient) The names Maggie. It wasnt this side of ten years ago that you had your tongue down my throat. So dont call me "child", Brian. It annoys me. PRIEST/ BRIAN Now do upset. Brian closes the fessional window as MAGGIE (still inside the booth) Brian, open up. Dont ignore me. Brian leans into her fessional. She steps out to join him. BRIAN Youre not even Catholic, Maggie -- you really shouldnt e to fession. Hes a nice looking ale man. They regard each other for a beat. MAGGIE Im sorry. Im just so stressed out about that slime-ball reporter being in town. I jus had to e warn you he might show up here and start asking you all kinds of ridiculous questions. Brian moves away. Maggie follows and sits in a nearby pew. BRIAN Actually, he only asked me one ridiculous question. The rest werent so bad. MAGGIE (sliding along the pew) What? You talked to him! Did you tell him we dated before you were a priest? BRIAN Yes, yes, Im sure I only did you good, Maggie. MAGGIE What did he ask? A woman, MRS. MURPHY, rushes in. MRS. MURPHY Father, am I too late? BRIAN No, no. MRS. MURPHY It wont take long. Jus two venials. The woman goes into the fessional booth to wait. BRIAN Only respectful things. What did we have in ?on back then... What kind of music did you like... Did you ruin my life when you left me standing at the altar... MAGGIE And what did you say? BRIAN How could I be angry at you when clearly what has happeo me is as God intended? MAGGIE (relieved) Good ohanks. BRIAN It happens to be how I feel. Brian sits o Maggie. MAGGIE God... Of course. Im sorry -- I mean, Im... (sighs) Brian -- Ive got to go. The mans a lunatic, but I kly where hes goi. BRIAN God bless you, Maggie. She turns to rush out, then stops herself. MAGGIE Oh, wait, my purse. She moves to the fessional, knocks, then speaks to Mrs. Murphy. MAGGIE (td) Excuse me, sorry, fot my purse. Good luck. Maggie closes the booth curtain and turns to Brian. MAGGIE (td) Wait -- what was the ridiculous question he asked? Brian smiles mischievously. BRIAN He wao know how you used to like ys. MAGGIE Weird. Like after all those years you would remem-- She starts to go, then stops iracks as she hears: BRIAN (interrupting) -- Scrambled, with salt, pepper and dill. Same as me. Maggie looks at Brian. Suddenly, she remembers too. MAGGIE (tenderly) Im really sorry that I hurt you, Brian. BRIAN Im happy here, where Im supposed to be. But if you ever bee a Catholic, may I ask you a favor, Maggie? MAGGIE Of course. BRIAN Could your fess to Father Patrick from now on? MAGGIE Of course. And she scampers out. Brian goes bato the fessional. EXT. GILLS GARAGE - DAY Maggie drives up to an old brick firehouse that is now an auto garage. The faded sign reads: "Gills Garage". INT. GILLS GARAGE - DAY Maggie rushes inside and looks around. No one is in sight. Several cars, including a yellow jeep-like car up on a hydraulic lift, are in the funky garage. MAGGIE Gill? Lydia? Gill? A CRASH, ing from the nearby ba, we hear loud muttering in Spanish, then out stumbles GILL CHAVEZ, 34, wearing a grease- stained Grateful Dead tie-dyed T-shirt. He grins triumphantly, worshipfully cradling a CASSETTE> TAPE in his hands. GILL Hey -- I found it! Maggie regards her former fiah patient warmth. MAGGIE Found what? Gill looks up and gives Maggie a fond, hazy smile. GILL Mags! Hey, look -- The tape from the Radio City Music Hall cert -- Remember that night I as trying to get Jerry to let me sit in on "Ripple"? He pulls out the cassette from its case. Its broken. The tape is dangling from the cassette. GILL (td) (disappointed) Oh, Ill play it for you. Gill picks up aric GUITAR and starts to play PART 7 MAGGIE (shouts over the music) Listen, Gill -- Theres this reporter whos ben making my life a living hell ... If he es by here, dont talk to him. And whatever yo do.... (crosses to Gill) ... Dont show him that picture of me at the cert in San Francisco -- Suddenly, a loud CHUG emanates from the car overhead. MAGGIE (td) What was that? Maggie stops Gill from playing. She shoots her ex an angry glare and moves a lever on the shop wall. With a HUM, the car desds. GILL We went to San Francisco twice. Remember oime we had a flat tire... Which picture? As the hydraulic lift slows, the car is lowered, revealing Ike sitting in the drivers seat. He has been enjoying the photograph hes holding. IKE (feigning shock) Imagine! Maggie Carpeopless in a public arena. (checks photo again) And I see there was a chill in the air. Maggie swipes for the photo, but Ike is faster at pulling it away. MAGGIE Give me that! IKE But the most iing thing here is that I dohe rose tattoo that Ive heard about on your back. Gill takes off his guitar as it down. GILL Ike bet me fifty bucks you dont still have it, Mags. I said "Youre on, man! Maggie loved that thing!" And I could really use fifty bucks. Maggie is spicuously silent. GILL (td) (looking worried) Mags? MAGGIE Im not gonna show you.９9liｂ. guys anything. I am a soon-to-be-married woman. Now give me that photograph. Maggie seethes. IKE Sure, I would love to give this to you. Just give us one quick ga that rose, and, Ill gladly hand it over. She tries to grab the photo again. Ike pulls it away. MAGGIE Fine. Here. Maggie quickly turns around and pulls down the back of her shirt, revealing the top of her bad a pristine expanse of skin. No tattoo. MAGGIE (td) (turning back around) Satisfied? IKE pletely. Gill is still tr藏书网ying to grasp the meaning of this. GILL Maggie? You got it removed? IKE Gill, Ill go ya double or nothing if was a sti. GILL (dismayed) Maggie? MAGGIE (admitting) Im really, really afraid of needles... It doesnt make me a bad person. Ike laughs. Maggie looks at him with rage. Gill dramatically pulls down the front of his t-shirt. GILL Look. There it is on Gills chest: the rose tattoo. Maggie sighs, pained. Gill shows it to Ike. Ike looks at the tattoo. He shakes his head at Maggie. IKE (sincerely) Look, look, man. I think the man is heartbroken. MAGGIE He is not! Maggie moves the lever on the wall again, sending Ike back up to the ceiling in th>藏书网e car. She grabs the photo from Ike as. GILL I think I am. Gill grabs his guitar and sits. GILL (td) Hey, Ike, what would Jerry do? The hydraulic lift stops moving. Ike leans out. IKE Jerry. Hed play. Hed play... Jerry would play his heart out. Ike sings and taps along in tempo on the side of the car as Gill sings and plays "Ripple". CUT TO: EXT. HOTEL PORCH - DAY, SATURDAY M As Maggie drives into town with Peggy, they see Ike on porch with SHERIFF, POLICE CHIEF and MAIL MAN, all playing instruments as a blues band. Ike is not bad on slide guitar. They all like Ike. Maggie "CHUFFAS" with Peggy and moves on. EXT. SOFTBALL FIELD - LATER THAT DAY CLOSE ON: The slow, loopy pitch of a softball. A bat ects. NEW ANGLE: A big wholesome man, CORY, runs for first base. He just beats out the throw. Bob, ag as umpire, yells, "Safe!" Happy, Cory turns to the stands and waves. ANGLE ON: Maggie and Peggy, cheering loudly. Peggy tries to whoop harder than Maggie, but that would be tough. From firs base, Cory waves back to them. The two women sit back down and Maggie takes back up with their versation. Maggie is still al steamed up. MAGGIE Okay, hes on base. we talk about my life now? -- Ikes going to turn that tattoo stuff into a big deal -- that I was never serious about Gill, blah blah. Hes totally out to get me. PEGGY For what reason? Some personal satisfa? MAGGIE Thats what he says, but if he thinks that I dont realize hes writing another article, then hes an idiot. PEGGY Its probably because you got him fired. MAGGIE (sarcastic) Ya think? PEGGY Not that he doesnt deserve to get fired... Look! Coing for sed!... Sneaky! ANGLE ON: Cory as he runs for sed base and with a slide beats the throw for the force out. The women jump and cheer -- Maggie, again, the most boisterous. ANGLE ON: Dennis reizes Ike as he walks up. Dennis tells Ike that he is going to marry Maggie some day and shows Ike where Maggie is sitting. ANGLE ON: Maggie spots Ike as they sit back down. She groans. MAGGIE There he is. Snoop Doggy-Dogg. PEGGY Where? MAGGIE Over there. Ten oclock. Hes talking to our little Dennis. Dennis will turn into one of those "sources say" things. PEGGY He looks better with that stuff out of his hair. Hes an attractive man. Ike finds Maggie in the crowd and leaves Dennis. MAGGIE Id say youve been in the sun too long. You handle him, okay? I could use five minutes off from that creep. Before Peggy protest, Maggie climbs down off the bleachers and goes and stands he dugout he rest of Corys team. PEGGY Okay, thats fine. I do that. Ike es up to Peggy. IKE Hello, Peggy Phleming, "not the ice-skater". Ike indicates the seat o Peggy. PEGGY (protesting weakly) Thats Maggies seat... Ike sits down fortably. IKE ... And this is Maggies beer. He starts drinking it. ON THE FIELD, Cory is getting ready to steal third. IKE (td) That your husband out there? Cory Phleming, a local radio announcer. PEGGY Have you listeo his m show, "Wake up with ballplayer"? IKE Not yet. I had a phlemless m. I hear hes a pretty good ballplayer. PEGGY This game is pretty important to him. He made all-stars in high school, you know. IKE That must have made you proud. Peggy takes a small sip off her soda. PEGGY He was going with Maggie back then. (quickly) He was never one of her... I mean, they were never going to get... They just dated for a while. Cory dives in for third and makes it. The crowd goes wild. Peggy yells and jumps in. PEGGY (td) Good job, honey! But Maggies whoop sails out above it all. Cory waves. But not at Peggy. He directs his delight at Maggie, who jumps up and down by the dugout. Ike looks between Cory, Maggie and finally, Peggy. Peggy jerks her waving hand back down to her side and sits down. Ike pretends not to have noticed. The two watch as Maggie and Cory smile at each other. IKE Its hat theyre still friends. PEGGY (looking at Maggie and Cory) Oh, sure. That was a long time ago. See, shes not a man-hater at all. Shes very supportive of men... BATTER hits oo deep left field and it lands in the grave yard. Cory scores, greeted by Maggie. Ike and Peggy watch as Cory and Maggie belly-bump and high-five each other in celebration of Corys play. No looks at Peggy. Ike keeps an empathetic silence, seeing that Peggy is truly hurt. PEGGY (td) Ill be ba a sed. Suddenly, Peggy stands, pushes past him and runs doweps. Maggie looks up just in time to catch Peggys exit. Ike pulls his tape recorder out of his pocket and starts speaking into it. Maggie shoots Ike an acg look, walks up to him in the bleachers and sits o him. MAGGIE Youve been here for three minutes. What did you do to her? IKE You turn that finger around. Ike does an oton imitation of Maggie jumpiedly at Cory. Now Maggie sees what hes getting at. MAGGIE (defensive) You misinterpret everything. Weve all been friends our whole lives. But thats the types of relationship you wouldnt uand. IKE Obviously, Im not the only one who doesnt uand it. The USS Maggie leaves quite a wake... Excuse me. Ike walks away. Alone, Maggie tries to seem enthused. MAGGIE See, I cheer good. What is he, a cheer critic? EXT./INT. STREET/BAR - LATER - DUSK Sitting in front of Inn Hale Bar, we see the BARTENDER pantomiming holding the reins of a wildly galloping horse. Weve seen something like this before. Maggies wild ride away from her last wedding. Ike laughs with Bartender just as Maggie drives by the bar ahis. MAGGIE (to herself) This guy ops. INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - NIGHT Maggie walks up to the front desk of the hotel, where Lee is sleeping with his feet up. She knocks his feet off the ter. MAGGIE Lee, hey, wake up. Give me the key to the reporters room. I want to snoop around. LEE (handihe key) Okay. Sed floor. MAGGIE Thanks. LEE Dont take anything big. Maggie moves up the stairs towards Ikes room PART 8 INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER Maggie walks towards Ikes room, checks that no one sees her and enters. INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM - TINUOUS Maggie lets herself in the modest room and turns on the lights on. She spots on audio cassette on the desk he door. She holds the cassette up to the light to read the hand-written label. It says "Miles Davis" on it. She pockets the tape. She walks to the living room. MAGGIES POV: Ike has placed post-its on a framed picture, using the frame as a bulletin board. Post-it notes lay out the information he has gathered under headings and subheadings. Parents "Mother" deceased, subheaded by "Walter" and there is one for "Brian", "Gill", and "Bob". Maggie smiles and shakes her head. She rips one post-it down and reads it to herself. MAGGIE (reads) "How does she get all these guys to propose? Shes not that beautiful." (snorts) Bite me, paper boy. She begins ripping many of other post-it off the picture frame. MAGGIE (td) (as she takes post-its) Rude... Shes ripping them down, fast and furious, then shoves them in her shoulder bag. INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL HALLWAY - TINUING Ike es down hallway as Harvey puts his shoes out to be shined. BASIDE THE ROOM Maggie, looking around, discovers the wedding video on the coffee table and grabs that, too. MAGGIE (td) Thief! THE SOUND OF A KEY IN THE DOOR makes Maggie jump. She flees to the bathroom, and shuts and locks the door. Just as Ike enters, he sniffs and looks around the room, instantly knowing something is up. He sees all his notes gone and a glimpse of Maggie as she closes the bathroom door. Ike is steaming. A BUMP sounds from the bathroom. He goes over to the door and tries the handle. Its locked. He starts to pound on the door. IKE All right, I know youre in there... You steal my research... Youre messing with the first ame now. Open up. Open up. You got no place to go. INT. IKES HOTEL BATHROOM - TINUING Ikes wrong. Maggie is already trying to open the first bathroom window. Its stuck. She climbs over the bathtub, opens that window and starts to climb out. IKE I want to have a very serious discussion with you as to why youre such a pain in the ass. We HEAR Ike slamming his body against the bathroom door. As Ike breaks in, he runs to the window and yells after her. EXT. IKES HOTEL WINDOW - TINUOUS IKE (td) Thats breaking aering. Ill call the sheriff. MAGGIE You do that. And remind him hes bringing the wio the luau. Thanks. She disappears around the ledge of the building and runs off. Ikes neighbor, Harvey, sits reading near his window. CUT TO: EXT. MAGGIES HOUSE - NIGHT Establishing. INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - NIGHT CLOSE ON: A CASSETTE PLAYER. We see the familiar handwritten label: "Miles Davis." "Kind of Blue" plays as Maggie listens in a chair, looking shell-shocked, surrounded by the post-its she stole from Ikes room. We see as she reads them: "Father, two- fisted drinker," "Peggy, best friend, but Peggy doesnt totally trust Maggie," "Bob" -- doesnt love him. Overwhelmed, she finishes reading the last note, leans back, puts her feet up on the table, deep in the mood of the melanusic. The CAMERA MOVES on the last note on the floor o her chair. It reads: "SHOWS NO REMORSE". FADE TO BLACK. FADE IN: EXT. MAIN STREET/BEAUTY PARLOR - DAY Its early m. Mrs. Pressman hands Peggy a cup of coffee to go. Peggy walks to the beauty parlor, unlocks the front door and goes in. INT. BEAUTY PARLOR - DAY Peggy enters and starts about her opening duties. She turns on the lights and turns and sees her friend, Maggie. MAGGIE Do you think I flirt with Cory? Peggy stops irack. Maggie is sitting curled up in a salon chair. She looks like she hasnt slept. PEGGY Good m to you, too. You look good. MAGGIE Thank you. Do you think I flirt with Cory? PEGGY Yes. Maggie looks miserable. MAGGIE I dont mean it. Peggy moves to the salon mirror near Maggie with her cup of coffee. PEGGY I know. I think sometimes you just sort of spaz-out with random excess flirtation energy and it just lands on anything male that moves. MAGGIE On anything male that moves? As opposed to anything male that doesnt move? Peggy pours her coffee out of its Styrofoam cup into a ceramic mug. PEGGY Like certain kinds of coral. Peggy sits in the salon chair o Maggie. MAGGIE Im going to kill myself. PEGGY Why? MAGGIE Because you think Im all like... "Hey man, check me out". PEGGY (friendly) No, I dont think youre like, "Im charming and mysterious in a way that even I dont uand and something about me is g out for prote from a big man like you". Very hard to pete with.bbr>９９ｌｉｂ? Especially to us married women who have lost our mystery. MAGGIE But you havent lost your mystery! Youre very mysterious! PEGGY No. Im weird. Weird and mysterious are two different things. MAGGIE But Im weird. PEGGY No. Youre quirky. Quirky and weird are two different things. MAGGIE Peggy, theres distinct possibility that I might be profoundly and irreversibly screwed up. Despite that, I love you and I promise that I will no longer flirt with Cory, and I beg your fiveness. Maggie looks ready to cry. PEGGY Im not worried about you and Cory or Cory and me or even that youre irreversibly screwed up. But, Maggie, youve been like this since we were kids. And I think now that you are aware of it and that it hurts peoples feelings, maybe its time to move on with your life and it to someone of your own, like Bob, if hes the one. MAGGIE I think youre right. (then) Is there anything I do to make it up to you? PEGGY Something that brings warmth to my heart. (pause) Duckbill platypus. MAGGIE Its only funny at Camp Birchwood at three in the m at a tick hunt. Its not anymore. Maggie makes her funny face. Peggy doesnt laugh. PEGGY Youre right. Its not funny now. Maybe we both grew up. MAGGIE Thanks. Will you fix my hair? CUT TO: EXT. MAGGIES HOUSE - LATER THAT M Maggie exits her house, gets on her bike and rides off towards town. INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM - LATER THAT M Ike is still in bed. He slowly blinks awake, stretches, and is about to throw off the covers when Maggies voice breaks the silence. MAGGIE Freeze. Hold on to those covers -- I didnt e here to see Ike Junior. Maggie smiles cheerfully at Ike from the foot of the bed. He narrows his eyes at her. IKE I take it the desk clerk is one of your many admirers. MAGGIE (deadpan) How do I do it? Im not that beautiful. Ike notices Maggie is holding two coffees. IKE Coffee. Now. Maggie hands it to him. MAGGIE Youre wele. Your notes made iiime reading -- if you like trashy fi. Your observations are distorted, ungrounded an inplete. You.. must be very proud. IKE Im not a boastful man. Whats your point? Ike puts a shirt on as Maggie speaks. MAGGIE My point is that one again, youre getting it all wrong. That wont improve your reputation any, and its not very flattering to me either. So, Im going to give you a ce to write the truth. IKE Really. Maggie turns away from him as he dresses. MAGGIE Ive decided to cooperate a you interview me. (beat) For a thousand bucks. Ike clears his throat as he stands putting his pants on. MAGGIE (td) I want a big wedding and a killer dress and frand I will answer all your questions a you follow me around. Ike takes his coffee with him as he picks up his glasses, puts them on and crosses to the window. IKE My magazine doesnt pay because for stories. Its not what you call ethical. MAGGIE Oh, but making up the facts as you go along is ethical? Actually, I meant you. You probably got severance or expenses or both. Ill take your check. No credit cards. IKE (to Maggie) Youve seen the post-its. Ive already got more juicy material than I need. Why should I pay you dollar one? MAGGIE Because I think youre writing on spec and with a first person interview, you might actually sell that thing. Ike knows shes right. IKE Too much. MAGGIE Seven-fifty. IKE Five hundred. MAGGIE Six-fifty. IKE Done. Scowling, he writes out the ched hands it to her. Maggie looks at it a.nd smile sweetly. CUT TO PART 9 EXT. MAGGIES HOUSE - DAY Ike jogs alongside of Maggie on her bike. Maggie parks her bike and they go inside her door to the house. INT. MAGGIES FOYER AND STAIRS - DAY Maggie leads Ike upstairs to her workroom. MAGGIE Pardon the mess. I havent ed sihe fifth grade. INT. MAGGIES WORKROOM - LATER I on a cappuae. We PULL BAd see Maggie and Ike standing at her work table. An automatic cappuaker stands oable. Its base is made from a used paint mixing mae. It looks very shiny and futuristic. Maggies logo "MAG" is on the side. The mae shakes as it steams the cappuo. Ike notices another homemade mae oable. IKE (td) Whats this over here? MAGGIE Its a birthday present for my cousin. Put your finger in. IKE dy the manicurist. He puts his finger in the wrong hole of the mae. MAGGIE No, the other one. He puts his finger in the correct hole. She turns it on. The brushes rotate. IKE (laughing) This is wonderful. You refigure all these industrial parts and you do something amazing with it. He looks around and spots some gadgets and lamps on aable. He walks to them. IKE (td) Amazing. Found industrial stuff. Willo... Rasta lamp... He picks up one of the many logos on the ter. Each boasts a "MAG" logo. IKE (td) Is this your preferred logo? MAGGIE I think so. IKE I like it. This whole thing is pretty incredible. (studying a lamp) I think you could probably sell this lamp idea in New York. MAGGIE Maybe someday. IKE You afraid to try? MAGGIE (stares at him) No, Im not afraid. Just... Maybe someday. IKE Well, Im impressed. Absolutely incredible. (sitting) I didnt expect pink and lacy, but this isly a womans room. MAGGIE What an incredible chauvinistic observation. INT. MAGGIES LIVING ROOM - A BIT LATER THAT DAY Maggies showing Ike e rings. MAGGIE Thats Brians. He took me ut oeing on the lake and gave me the ring in a velvet box. Ike snores. Maggie hits him. MAGGIE (td) (defensive) It was classic. Maggie hands Ike another ring. This one is in the shape of a Grateful Dead rose. MAGGIE (td) Gill. Of course. He proposed at the tie-dye t-shirt stand at a Dead cert. It was very sweet until he halluated that the drum set was a blood-sug space alien. IKE Always a mood killer. MAGGIE Still sweet. Maggie hands Ike a third ring. Its in the shape of a butterfly and studded with multi-cems. MAGGIE (td) Gee. He proposed at a butterfly farm in St. Thomas. The ring was inside a co. IKE (grimag) Its a little "Silence of the Lambs" for me. I t believe you waited for the wedding to run. MAGGIE Hes aomologist! I thought it was very unique. Now Maggie shows Ike the ring on her hand. Its a gold "#1" with a diamo into the number. MAGGIE (td) And here we are at Bob. He proposed during the seventh inning stretch... Ike touches her hand to examihe ring more closely. Her surprise at his touch shows on her face as she finishes her sentence. MAGGIE (td) ... At an Orioles game. She takes her hand down. Ike steps away. IKE Wait. Dont tell me. The scoreboard lit up with "Mary me, Maggie." Ike picks up his cup of cappuo and moves behind the couch. MAGGIE It was one of the most wonderful moments of my life. Cal Ripken even applauded. IKE (stopping) Highly suspect. MAGGIE What do you mean? It was incredibly romantic! IKE Maybe its just me, but -- if you got to dress it up, it doesnt ring true. Ike moves back to the couch. IKE (td) I think the most anybody holy say is, "Look..." (sits on the arm of the couch) "I guarahat well have tough times. I guarahat at some point one or both of us will want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I dont ask you to be mine, Ill regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart -- youre the only one for me" Maggie stares at Ike for a beat. His words have taken a little bit of her breath away. She covers. MAGGIE I like it. She moves from the fireplace to a chair and sits. MAGGIE (td) Id like it better on a scoreboard. (lightly) Is that how you proposed when you asked your wife to marry you? Ike is taken aback. MAGGIE (td) Dont look so surprised, youve got divorce written all over you. IKE Im a work in progress. MAGGIE So? Is that what you said to her? IKE No. I think I said something eloquent like, "So, uh -- maybe we should, ya know. What do you think?" MAGGIE Now thats romantic. A proposal like that and you didnt fiernal bliss? What went wrong? Ike takes a swallow of cappuo. IKE I dont know. MAGGIE You dont know. IKE No. MAGGIE Maybe you should ask her some time. Ever thought of that? Ike is restless. He stands up. IKE Call me crazy, but I believe that check I gave you entitles me to ask the questions for a while. Ike puts down his cup of coffee, gets his tape recorder and sits close to Maggie. MAGGIE Fair enough. (thinks a beat) Actually... Maggie move to TV. She picks up Ikes stolen post-it notes and her wedding video on top of the TV, and goes to the front door. MAGGIE (td) Ill just need one more day to make sure your check clears. IKE Ow! DISSOLVE TO: EXT. HALE STREET - THE DAY Ike and Maggie drive in Maggies truck. They pull up in front of a Bridal Shop. A spectacular dress fills the small window. Its beautiful, romantic, sexy. Maggie and Ike be seen in the refle. MAGGIE Even with everything thats happened Ive still never been married and I still deserve a beautiful dress. IKE Agreed. Maggie gives Ike a smile that lights up the sky. They go inside. INT. BRIDAL SHOP - DAY The place is fairly large and prosperous, probably the place to go iri-ty area. A little FLIRL, 10, is being fitted on the pedestal in the middle of the room. A saleswoman, POLLY, has taken the flirl under her wing. They are both uhe expert eyes of a stern looking woman, MRS. WHITTENMEYER, the shop owner. Also, the girls MOTHER is there watg. POLLY (to the mother) Shell be the prettiest little flower girl in your daughters wedding. MAGGIE Mr. Whittenmeyer. Hi, Polly! The flirl sees Maggie and runs and hides behind Polly. POLLY Hi, Maggie. Youll have to excuse her, Maggie. Some of the children are afraid of you since yed that little boy up the aisle. MAGGIE I didnt drag. (then to the girl) He tripped on his shoelaces. Mrs. Whittenmeyer es forward to greet Maggie. MRS. WHITTENMEYER Youve e for your dress. Good! Ill get it from the back. Maggie leads her to the front window. MAGGIE (happily) Actually, I would like to get this dress. She points to the dress. She smiles bars. Whittenmeyer, expeg her to share her joy. Mrs. Whittenmeyer darkens. MRS. WHITTENMEYER (to Polly) Polly, take Leslie into ge. (then, to Maggie) But the one you have on hold is lovely. MAGGIE (pleasantly) Yes. But Ive ged my mind. MRS. WHITTENMEYER Its ohousand dollars. Maggie is keenly aware of Ike listening in. MAGGIE I have ohousand dollars. MRS. WHITTENMEYER (firmly) The other one is only three hundred dollars. Maggie lowers her voice, hoping to lessen the humiliation of the moment. MAGGIE Is this dress for sale? MRS. WHITTENMEYER It just seems like an awful lot of moo spend on one of your dresses, Maggie... You only wear them? for about ten minutes. Ike watches with regret as Maggies child-like enthusiasm drains away, her happy mood crushed by the tactless assault of the shop owner. Hes starting to see that its no always easy being Maggie. Theres a tremor in her voice. MAGGIE Yeah, thats a good point. (then, sitting) The other dress is nice. Ike calls out to Mrs. Whittenmeyer. IKE Mrs. Whittenmeyer. May I talk to you for a sed? She walks over to him. IKE (td) I dont know much about this kind of thing. Im from out of town. Youre a salespersht? Youre here to sell wedding dresses. MRS. WHITTENMEYER (huffy) Yes. Ive been here for thirty years. IKE Perfect. Because Miss Carpenter is here to buy one. But not just any one. She wants that one. MRS. WHITTENMEYER Its a thousand dollars! Ike goes over and takes the mannequin out of the window. Mrs. Whittenmeyer catches the wig as he puts the mannequin under his arm. IKE (td) Look, Aunt Bea, were buying this beautiful dress and anything else she wants or Im ing back here with a squirt gun filled with India ink. Mrs. Whittenmeyer wilts under Ikes fierce gaze. She turns to Maggie. MRS. WHITTENMEYER Will he really do that? Maggie gives her a look. MR. WHITTENMEYER (td) (to９９ｌｉｂ? Maggie) Well, why dont you pick out some accessories while I get this ready, dear. Polly, will you e help me, please? Polly es to help carry the mannequin away. ANGLE ON POLLY AND MRS. WHITTENMEYER: POLLY (whispering to Mrs. Whittenmeyer) Its a thousand dollars. MRS. WHITTENMEYER Shhhh! The man bbr>has ink! Maggie looks gratefully at Ike. IKE Tough to spend money in this town. TIME CUT: A FEW MINUTES LATER: Ike sits as he hears Maggies voice behind him. MAGGIE (o.s.) What do you think? Ike turns around. Maggie is standing on the pedestal, wearing the dress and looking unbelievably geous. She is overwhelming to behold and Ike has tle to keep his fader trol. IKE (stammering) You look... uh... You look fine. MAGGIE Fihe neers upside down. Thats better than fine. IKE Bob will be very happy. She glows. Then the momeween them is broken as she suddenly remembers something and grabs the veil off her head. MAGGIE Bob! I almost fot! I have to meet Bob! PART 10 INT. DINER - DAY This is a great place -- a major hub of social life in Hale. The food is greasy and good, Mrs. Pressman is the waitress, and the CROWD the essence of what is wonderful about a small town. Bob, Maggie and Ike sit on the ter. Mrs. Pressman CHUFFS about the luau, then moves around the er. BOB Mrs. Pressman, 藏书网I think were ready to order. MRS. PRESSMAN Were out the special because somebody... (indicates COOK with head) ... didnt order enough sausage. BOB Let me have the gardee. Egg whites only. Ike looks at Maggie. Hed bet a thousand bucks on what shed say . MAGGIE Ill have the same. IKE (clears his throat) Of course. MAGGIE What was that? I t order my eggs without sarcasm? BOB ral ers you two. Youre on the same team now. Any more fighting and its fifteen minutes in the penalty box. (gently, to Ike) Maggies the person youll ever meet. But shes always fog out there. Shes got to start fog more in here. (taps his chest) Thats why shes had some -- whatever you want to call it -- problems in th..e past. (to Maggie) Thats what were w on -- focus. Right, Maggie? Foaggie. Focus on Bob. As Bob has been talking, Ike has been watg Maggies face. The joy seems to have drained out of her. MAGGIE (quietly) Right. BOB (to Ike) I lead Maggie through a visualization exercise. All the sports shrinks use this head stuff. Visualize the end zone, if you catch my drift. Bob takes out a notepad and hands it to Maggie. BOB (td) Heres todays mantra: "Its an open field to Big Bob." IKE Tell me. When you get to the altar, will you spike the bouquet? MAGGIE You know, theres no... Before Maggie finish, Ike intercepts her. IKE Well, Im off. A reporters work is never done. (heading to the door) Mrs. Pressman, thank you. MRS. PRESSMAN Tootaloo. INT. ATLANTIC HOTEL - MOMENTS LATER GRANDMA JULIA (V.O.) Id like to explain about the weddings. There are reasons why they didnt e off. Three weddings, no "I dos". You t believe how much cake we were left with. I should weigh three hundred pounds. I dont think her father minded spending so much money on booze that nobody drank. We hear Grandma as through the hotel doors, we see Maggie exit the diner. She gets a bag from ihe cab of her trud es ihe hotel where she finds Ike talking to Grandma, who is having tea with her friend, A. MAGGIE Ike... Hi, Grandma. IKE Gram here was going to give me the skinny on why you run from marital bliss. GRANDMA JULIA Right, cover your ears, a. Its not that shes afraid of the wedding, shes afraid of the wedding night. I girls are terrified of "the one-eyed snake". (getting into it) Why, when I was a virgin bride, I took a knitting needle with me into the bed... Ike winces. MAGGIE Actually, Grandma, I charmed the one- eyed snake awhile ago. GRANDMA JULIA Oh, yeah, I fot. Ill tell you one thing, yrandpa didnt fet that wedding night. (a) You take your hands off your ears, a. Your teas getting cold. MAGGIE you excuse us a minute? (then to Ike) May I have a word with you, please? Maggie moves toward door. IKE Bye, a... Bye, Grandam. He steps over to Maggie in the doorway. MAGGIE I found this and didnt know if it was something iing. Maggie hands Ike a 30-year-old LP: Miles Davis "Kind of Blue." IKE (excited) Oh, my God -- Its Miles Davis. This is "King of Blue"! This is the inal rec. Hard to find in good dition. Where did you find this? MAGGIE (casual) It was iic. It was jus sitting there gathering dust. IKE Its valuable. Hang onto it. MAGGIE No. You take it. She steps outside, leaving Ike with the record. IKE Hmmm... Figuring out what kind of music I like and then finding me a rare album. Youre n to soften me up, are you? MAGGIE No -- Im ing an attic. I wouldnt attempt the impossible. She turns and walks back to the diner where Mrs. Pressman is outside watering plants. Ike looks after Maggie and then back down at the record in his hand. Somehow it makes him sad. CUT TO: INT. IKES CAR - LATER THAT DAY Ike drives through Hale gobbling french fries from the fast food bag in his lap. Ike passes THE INN HALE BAR, same dump of a taveralked to barte. ANGLE ON: MAGGIES CAR parked a few cars down. He pulls over and parks. He gets out and speaks into his tape recorder. I. THE INN HALE BAR -- DAY Ike approaches th藏书网e window of the bar. Theres a DRUNK MAN and a DOG sitting outside. Inside, we see two figures from the back, arms around each other. One is definitely Maggie. The other is definitely not Bob. MAGGIE (coaxing) . Lets go. As Maggie helps the ma up, we see that its Walter, Maggies father -- dead drunk. WALTER (belligerently) I havent had any fun since you got your drivers lise... They stumble and lurch, exiting the bar toward Maggies car. MAGGIE Im ly having fuher... Steady. WALTER (to Dog) Good boy, Port Hole. MAGGIE His name is Skipper, Dad... Steady. WALTER I ged it. (then to Drunk) See you later, Mr. Travis. (then to Maggie) That guy has a problem... Maggie, you run everyones life but your own. Maggies having trouble keeping him steady as she opens the car door. Ike is there in a flash to help her pull Walter into the car. WALTER (td) Good daughters let their fathers pass out. Walter>. passes out on the fro. MAGGIE (without difficulty) Ike... Please dont write anything about this -- IKE No. Fet about it. Dont even think about it. Maggie looks at him with real gratitude. She swings the car door shut. MAGGIE Watch y, Dad. (then to Ike) Im so tired of this. IKE Why dont you let him sleep it off in the trunk. Ill take you for a ride. Then well e back for him. (to Drunk on bench) Keep an eye on him. DRUNK MAN Im too loaded. IKE I was talking to the dog. (turning to Maggie) All right? Maggie thinks about this for a moment. She takes a deep breath. MAGGIE Okay... Ill just grab my jacket. CUT TO: EXT. ROAD - LATE DUSK TO NIGHT Establishing of Ikes car driving. INT. IKES CAR - LATE DUSK TO NIGHT Maggie and Ike ride along. IKE My dad managed a business and two mistresses. He wanted me to be a . More? Maggie nods, IKE (td) My mother wanted me to bee a musi. 0 for two. But at least Im a journalist and we all know journalism is literature in a hurry PART 11 EXT. IKES CAR - TRY ROAD - NIGHT Ike and Maggie stare forward. Both seem in melanoods. Theyre beginning to seheyre in trouble here. Suddenly, the car falters and jerks. It shows to a stop on the shoulder of the road. The car backfires and smokes. EXT. IKES CAR - TRY ROAD - NIGHT Ike and Maggie sit ieaming car for a moment. MAGGIE Your filters clogged. This takes unleaded. IKE you fix it? MAGGIE First I have to find some tools. I need a half and a nine-six-tenth. IKE (removing his glasses) Of what? MAGGIE (in amazement) Wrenches. My dads gonna love that one. Maggie slams the food closed. IKE Kind of isolated. MAGGIE Yeah. Its kind of nice. An unfortable silent pause. Ike breaks the moment. IKE Theres ohing we New Yorkers know how to do is hail a cab. If theres no cab, we walk. Ike stares off down the road. Maggie indicates a building in the distahen turns off the car lights. MAGGIE I get some tools over there.... and save the battery... Theres ohing we try girls know how to do is cut across a field. Its quicker. Maggie points diagonally across the field to where a gas station sign glows and the lights from the outer house twinkle. He smiles and follows her into the field. MAGGIE (td) Be careful of snakes. IKE Snakes? Are you serious? I dont like snakes. Ive never even seen a snake. He steps carefully into the field, then hops gingerly toward Maggie. MOMENTS LATER Maggie leads Ike through a field. MAGGIE Do you think theres only ht person for everybody? Ike chooses his words carefully. IKE No. But I think attra is too often mistaken fhtness. Attra is very misleading. And if its mutual, its well, terribly distrag. MAGGIE Yes it is. And it doesnt mean anything. Ike nods as they e to a wooden fence. She puts her hand on his shoulder. Ike puts his hands around her waits to give her a boost over the top. We see the flicker of misuanding cross Maggies face at the initial taeither of them moves -- forward or back, but the electricity is obvious. ANGLE ON: Ike. His flicted feelings are apparent. With difficulty, Maggie straightens up and they both quickly remove their hands. MAGGIE (td) (lightly) I suddenly fot how to climb a fence. They look at each other for a moment, then: MAGGIE AND IKE (breaking the mom藏书网ent jokingly) "Tools". She climbs over the fen her own and Ike follows. They see an old藏书网 guy, LIONEL, whittling on a porch. MAGGIE (td) Lionel, I borrow some tools? IKE Yeah, we need a half and nine- sixteenths. LIONEL Gonna bust out of another wedding? IKE Youre sure well known around here. EXT. FISHER AND ELLIES BUILDING - THE DAY Establishing shot. INT. FISHER AND ELLIES KIT (NYC) - DAY INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM - DAY I BETWEEN TWO LOCATIONS: Ike sits on his bed, on the phone, w aing his breakfast. Hes watg Maggies wedding tape again. Fisher is cooking an elaborate breakfast. Ellie rushes arouing ready for work. He is on the phoo Ike. FISHER (into phone) Yes, well, my theory was that she may be running because she gets attention... ive attention is attention. Like when women whack you oreet because of your n, thats ive attention. IKE (V.O.) This is about her ive attention, not mine. Did you get the reimbursement for the dress yet? FISHER (into phone) No, Im paying for the dress. Do you think shes still gonna run? IKE (V.O.) I dont know. Ellie ehe kit, hears the question and shakes her head to herself. If only these boys would give it up. INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM - TINUOUS He is finding it very hard to gloat. Fisher is annoying him. IKE (into phone) Look -- Ill be in there later today. Ill e by and tell you all about it. FISHER (V.O.) Youre ing here? IKE (into phone) Yeah. FISHER (V.O.) Then e for dinner. IKE (into phone) Okay, well order out. FISHER (V.O.) Order out like a Philistine, when you got the Galloping Gourmet here?... Ike hangs up and watches more of the Gee Swilling wedding video. INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY The bar from the opening se. GEE SWILLING, the same man Ike talked to before, is sitting on a stool, nursing his drink. He looks better. Ike enters. Gee looks up and reizes Ike, who takes the bar stool o him. IKE Get this man a Kamikaze. GEE Splendid disse of Maggie Carpenter, very professional job. Ike sits and leans over to Gee. IKE (whispers) You could have told me you were? fiance hree. GEE And end up in the papers? Ive been humiliated enough already to last a lifetime, thank you. Im sorry she got you ed. IKE Thanks. GEE Shes a cacophony of tradis. IKE Well, Im writing another article on the cacophony. GEE Ah, t stay away from her, 99liｂ?you? Like a moth to a flame. IKE Guess youd know about that. Youre an entomologist, right? Hows business? GEE (taking a sip of his drink) Not bad. I was traveling around studying the reproductive and migratory patterns of locusts when Maggie met me. IKE (sarcastic) er a locust, feed the world. GE Not the world. Just Afrid a. Ike wipes the smirk off his face. Like Maggies other men, this guy has a worthy aplishment under his belt. GEE (td) You know Maggie was the only girl I ever met who would hold my tarantula. On the first date. IKE (td) So, tell me, Gee, why do you think she ran? GEE Same as you said. What did you call her? A "maer", "a dev death goddess." IKE I dont think thats why she ran. GEE Why do YOU think she ran? Ike sips his drink before answering. IKE I dont know. Im w on it. I was on the wrong track. GEE And you defending her? IKE No. I call it like I see it. Im a journalist. Im a truth teller. GEE Unbelievable, she got to you. IKE Oh, please! GE Join the club. (passing him his drink) Here, you his more than me. Gee heads out. IKE (proteg, taking his tape recorder out of his pocket) Im writing an article, Im getting paid to do this, its going to be a cover story, its going to be published ... The facts will be read someday. As Gee pauses in the doorway, Ike holds up his tape recorder. IKE (td) What kind of eggs did she like? GEE Poached, just like me. Gee exits. CUT TO: EXT. NEW YORK STREET/FISHER AND ELLIES BUILDING - DAY Ike walks down a street toward Ellie and Fisher. CUT TO: INT. FISHER AND ELLIES APARTMENT (NYC) - NIGHT Ellie is on the phone as Fisher enters with beer. Ike sits at the piano. FISHER (sarcastically) Overpriice apartment and ese takeout. Thats New York living. ELLIE (into phone) ... Just call me when you have it. (hangs up, then to Fisher) Ike, how is the story ing? Is she a maer? FISHER Or a vegetarian? ELLIE Or does she pick "NGBS" -- "Nice Guys, But..." Nice guys, but Im cheap. Nice guys, but he lives with his mom... Nice guys, but he just out of prison. IKE No... Theyre iing guys. Each one of these guys has something going for him. I mean, ones been up Everest. Anothers bee a priest. Ones a pretty good guitar player. And this guy today tried to end world hunger, if you believe that... FISHER Whoa, Ike. Getting a plex, buddy? ELLIE Fisher, let him talk. IKE (sits) But one of those guys -- not one of them -- knew her at all. Eae was vihat she erfect for them, but they didnt see her. And she never showed up so they couldnt see her. Its a very symbolic thing happening. She bees what she thinks they wanted to be. Fisher doesnt like the sound of this. He glances ９9ｌib?at Ellie, who is looking very ied. FISHER (in shock) Ike is turniive and I t bear to watch. Im going to make a fresh pot of tea. The phs as Fisher exits. Ike goes to the piano as Ellie picks up the phone. ELLIE (into phone) Yeah... Oh, Jay... Okay... Bye. (hangs up, then yells to Fisher) Fisher, dont fet the fortune cookies. She joins Ike at the piano. Ike gets serious. IKE Is that what I did to you? Is that what happened? Did I just not see you? ELLIE No. No, you didnt. He hugs her. IKE (heartfelt) Well -- Im sorry, Im really sorry, Ellie. ELLIE Im sorry, too. (beat) Wow. That only took us between years to say. Ellie blinks back seal tears. CUT TO PART 12 EXT. TROUTS BARN - THE NIGHT We hear Hawaiian music. We see a truck with GUESTS drive up and HULA DAhrough barn slats. INT. TROUTS BARN - NIGHT Its a small barn thats been verted into a luau with a bar. A BAND plays for two hula dancers. The Trouts had decorated it as a little slice of Hawaii. There are tiki lights, numerous rented plastic palm trees and fiberglass copies of Hawaiian statuary. Strings of colored lights crisscross the ceiling. It looks like a Hawaiian high school gym on prom night. Maggies family, Mrs. Trout and people weve already met, and more, are here, milling around wit tropical drinks garnished with umbrellas. Plastic leis abound and most people have mao find their old Hawaiian shirts. As we e in, the hula dancers finish their applause and Mrs. Trout announces. Hula dancers stop. LOU TROUT Wele to our annual try luau. As you know, Betty and I got married on the rim of the crater, Diamond Head. MRS. TROUT (grabbing the microphone) This year, were dedig our first dao the soon-to-be newlyweds, the King and Queen of Hawaii, Maggie and Bob. The couple enters. Bob is a goody bronzed god in his King Kamahamela outfit. Maggie is spectacular in her authentic looking Harincess get-up. But her face refleone of the festivities around her. Every now and then, she looks up and glances around for Ike, hating herself for it. MRS. TROUT (td) King and Queen, dance. Maggie and Bob start to dance as the Quarter sings "Aloha Oe." MRS. TROUT (td) Everybody dance. Everybody dances. TIMES OUT: Maggie and Bob pose for pictures with some of the guests. MRS. TROUT Pictures of the King and Queen. Dennis poses with Maggie. Cory poses with Bob. Mrs. Trout runs out of film and goes to get more, leaving Peggy and Maggie alone. Peggy whispers to Maggie. PEGGY Lighten up, wahine. MAGGIE Lighten up, what? PEGGY This party is for you and Bob. Get your mind off the reporter. MAGGIE I havent seen him iy-four hours. It just gives me the creeps a little bit. Id feel better if I knew where he was. PEGGY (nods to door) Would it? ANGLE ON: Ike just entering the party. At least he tried. Hes got a tropical sheet ed around his pants and shirt. He walks to the bar and is greeted warmly by Lee. Maggie gets very flustered. PEGGY (td) What are you doing? MAGGIE (after a beat) Im going to go dah Bob. Because hes the man. (referring to her headdress) I like those grapes. Maggie dances affeately with Bob as Mr. Trout, tending bar, greets Ike. LOU TROUT Hey, Mr. Graham, wele to our luau. What I get you? IKE You got something without a toy in it? TIME CUT: A LITTLE LATER - CLOSE ON A pair of expressive pantomime "A Little Grass Shack". PULL BACK TO REVEAL: Mrs. Trout is on stage, introdug hula testants. Grandma judges the Hawaiian dang. The party is at full tilt -- a little wild, a little goofy. Some guests (Bob, dy, Cory, Lee and Ted) do the limbo. Walter, Mrs. Pressma turn as she hears him. IKE Aloha. Thats a very fetg headdress youre wearing. Ike leans into Maggie, enjoying the smell of her hair. She notices, but acts casual. MAGGIE Where did you disappear to? IKE Missed me bad, huh? TIME CUT: All the guests start banding their pineapple cups. Walter rises unsteadily, lifting his pineapple. MRS. TROUT Attention. Listen to Walter. Listen close, he slurs. (then) Shut up, wahines! WALTER Iradition that has grown through the years, it is now Toast Time! First up, our host, "A Honey of a Beekeeper", Lou Trout.. Lou Trout stands with his glass raised. LOUT TROUT May the grooms heart be filled with hopes and the brides feet be filled with lead! There are shouts of "Hear hear!" Walter roars. MRS. TROUT May the pitter-patter of little feet not be Maggies. MRS. PRESSMAN May the gifts be returned! TED May the back of the dress be as pretty as the front! The laughter swells and swells, led by Walter. ANGLE ON: Ike watches as Maggie takes the heat, raising her glass along with the others. Bob raises his glass like the good sport he is. Ike t believe it. WALTER You know the old saying, "Youre not losing a daughter..." Well, Id like to! Walter gets a bit laugh. He goes again. WALTER (td) Maggie may not be Hales lo running joke... (under her breath) Maggie fihe pune along with his father. WALTER AND MAGGIE -- But shes certainly the fastest. Uproarious laughter. Maggie looks terribly pained. Ikes had enough. He pushes himself to his feet. Walter is thrilled. He shushes the CROWD. WALTER (td) Oh, look, Mr. Graham, how about a toast? IKE I dont know, give me a minute. (to Maggie) Are you all right with this? MAGGIE Excuse me? IKE Are you all right with this? You think this is funny? MAGGIE Yes. IKE I dont and I dont think you should... BOB Its a joke. Theyre kidding. WALTER AND CROWD (yell) e on and give us a toast. IKE You wao make a toast? Okay... Ill give you a toast. To Maggies family and friends. May you find yourselves the bulls eye of an easy target. May you be publicly flogged for all of your bad choices and may your o rubbed in all of your mistakes... Ike watches their rea. The silence is deafening. All the guests stare at Maggie. Mortified, she holds back tears. MRS. TROUT That was funny. (a pause) But enough toasts, lets hula. Lets start the music up. She gets everyone up to bbr>..hula. Band plays fast tune. Maggie walks through the CROWD doweps and outside. Ike follows, but Peggy grabs a coat for her. Bob watches her go as Cory a?pproaches. CORY Hey, Bob. I got twenty dollars bet on-- BOB Not now. Bob rushes after Maggie. PEGGY (calling after her) Maggie. Maggie. (to Ike, handing him a jacket) Here. She may his. Its not really Hawaii. Ike exits. Then, Bob es over. BOB Whered Maggie go? PEGGY Oh, she just went to get me something from the car. Cory es over with Dennis to Bob and Peggy. BOB/PEGGY/CORY/ DENNIS CHUFFA: About Bart Starr and football. (Which keeps Bob from going outside to follow Maggie). Bob thinks about it. EXT. TROUTS BARN - NIGHT Ike runs after Maggie. He grabs her arm and turo him. IKE Im the only goddamn person in there pulling for you. MAGGIE You humiliated me! IKE No, Maggie, I defended you. Humiliating you is what everyone else is doing. Its the theme of this party. MAGGIE I had it under trol. Now they feel sorry for me. IKE Well, they should. Because theyre about to watch you hang yourself again. Maggie has no response. IKE (td) -- Tell me something, do you really care about Mount Everest? MAGGIE Its fun! Its high. IKE Or the sexual habits of locusts? MAGGIE That was very iing research Gee was doing! IKE What kind of Dead Head gets a temporary tattoo? MAGGIE I already explained about that. IKE And where you ever really going to run the leper y in Molokai? MAGGIE (wing) Brian told you that? IKE Or maybe you just wao wear the headdress. MAGGIE Every one of those times I was being supportive. Something you wont uand. IKE Supportive? You werent being supportive. You were being scared. Just like now. You are the most lost woman I have ever laid eyes on. MAGGIE Lost! IKE Thats right. Youre so lost you dont even know how you like ys. MAGGIE What!? IKE With the priest, you liked them scrambled. With the Dead Head, fried. With the bug guy, poached. Now its egg whites only, thank you very much. MAGGIE Thats called ging your mind. IKE No, thats called not having a mind of your own. What are you doing, Maggie? You really want to let that man drag you up Annapuma on your honeymoon? You dont want to climb Annapum藏书网a. MAGGIE Yes I do! IKE No you dont. You want a man who will lead you down the beach with his head over your eyes just so you discover the feel of the sand under your feet. You want a guy who will take you into a cave with a thousand dles just to read you a poem. You want a man to wake you up at dawn because hes burning to talk to you and he t wait another mio find out what youll say. Am I right? Hes laid her flat. Maggie t speak. IKE (td) Am I right? She fights bagry tears. MAGGIE Stop. Stop it! Im getting married on Sunday, and youre just trying to make me run! Why? Because youre a ical, exploitative, meaed creep who wouldnt know real love if it bit him in the armpit! And all you do is tear other people down and-and-and laugh at them, and criticize what they do, because youre too afraid to do anything yourself! I read your n. You never wrote one about you. Im not the only one whos lost and you know it! Am I right? Well? Am I right? ANGLE ON: Bob es outside. BOB Mag. Help me out here. Green Bay. Right guard. Both Maggie and Ike are breathing hard. Bob es up to Maggie and gives Ike a very hard look as he puts his arm around his fiancee. BOB (td) You know... Blocked Bart Starr, crewcut ... Are you okay? Maggie adjusts her face as best she . MAGGIE Yes. BOB Let me take you baside, okay? She lets him lead her away. MAGGIE Jerry Kramer. Ike looks at her drooped shoulder and he shakes his head and walks to his car PART 13 EXT. HALE METHODIST CHURCH - THE DAY Peggy and dy arrive for the rehearsal. They leave dys dog in Peggys car and walk to the church. DY Tell me, why does Maggie need another wedding rehearsal and two days before the wedding? Shes already dohis. PEGGY Bob is making her visualize the ceremony. CUT TO: INT. HALE METHODIST CHURCH - NIGHT They are in the church proper now. Peggy waits in a pew as Bob leads Maggie and Ike up the back steps of the church. BOB (to Maggie) Okay, were ready. Wao have Ike leave now? Maggie turns oh "cheerful" hostility. MAGGIE No. No -- Actually, lets make Ike the pastor. IKE Id rather not. MAGGIE (sarcastically) e on, itll give you a great view. Its perfect. (seeing Peggy) Hey. Maggie. smiles at Bob. Ike sighs and goes with it. Bob pulls Ike to the head of the aisle and places him. Peggy follows Maggie into the foyer to get ready. dy sits with Ted at the an. BOB Team effort, Pastor Ike... dy, ready? (after no response) dy, e on. dy leaves to join the girls in the foyer. INT. CHURCH FOYER - THAT MOMENT On the privacy of the foyer, Peggy and Maggie talk. PEGGY Hes going to be the pastor? MAGGIE Yep. I want him to be front aer and to watch everything. PEGGY What happe the luau? MAGGIE (flustered) ... I dont even want to talk about the luau. (then seeing a hanging rope) Whats this? PEGGY Its for the bell. dy joins them. DY Bobs in a hurry. PEGGY Dont be nervous, Maggie. Let us visualize. Remember what Bob said? "Be the ball." DY "Sink the putt." PEGGY "Make the shot." DY "Nothing but ." PEGGY "Never say die." Maggie puts her hands up. MAGGIE Go! Peggy and dy exit. Maggie pulls the bell rope and sways back and forth as she rings the bell. INT. CHAPEL - THAT MOMENT It is Maggies turn to ehey all turn expetly. Too much time passes. Ted plays the an, then stops. Maggie swings bad forth in the foyer doorway. BOB Honey, are you okay? Maggie sting the bell and pulls herself together. She walks into the aisle looking a little shaky. She takes a few tremulous steps slowly with her eyes closed, peeking occasionally with one eye. IKE (taking off his jacket) At this pace, it could be an evening wedding. BOB Hold it! Hold it! I think were taking this too fast. He begins to pace. BOB (td) We o limber you up a little. Youre tensing. (thinks a moment; to Ike, moving him to grooms spot) You藏书网 stand here and be me so she knows how far shell have to go. (then to Maggie) Im going to walk with you. Bob goes to Maggie and walks behind her. BOB (td) Visualize! Visualize! Its game time. ANGLE ON: Maggie walking. BOB (td) You are the football. Youre spiraling through the air towards the hands of the groom. She proceeds down the aisle. Bob behind her. MAGGIE (eyes down) Yes, Im spiraling through the air. ANGLE ON: Maggie raises her eyes and sees Ike in front of her as groom. Ike and Maggie lock gazes. If they had to, they couldnt look away. All the things unspoken are now unicated -- the love, the longing. MAGGIE (td) I streak towards the goal line. Maggies pace quis. MAGGIE (td) And I land on the goal line. ANGLE ON: Bob beams to see Maggies eager arrival at Ikes side. He switches off the musid proceeds like a proud coach to be the pastor. BOB Okay, Im the pastor. Dearly beloved, blah, blah, blah. So on and so forth. Ra ta ta ta. Yabada dabada. I now pronounan and wife. Kiss the bride, badum dum. (then moving toward Ted) We have the cresdo that leads to us right back down the aisle and out the... Ike kisses Maggie. It is a world class, Olympic kiss. It is a kiss that ges everything and ever be taken back. It is a kiss you only get on your life. NEW ANGLE: Bobs smile dies. dys mouth drops open as the kiss goes on and on. Peggy loses trol and screams. BOB (td) Maggie!!!!? Like a bucket of water thrown on two dogs, Ike and Maggie are startled out of their kiss. They pull apart and smile at each other. ANGLE ON: Bob. BOB (td) (furious) If you were imagining me, you did great. (to Ike) What the hell were you doing? IKE (eyes on Maggie) Im sorry, Bob. She kissed me back. MAGGIE (dazed but happy) I kissed him back. BOB Yeah, I caught that. Want to tell me how long this has been going on? Maggie looks at Ike, wondrous, fused. MAGGIE About a minute...? IKE A little longer for me. MAGGIE Really? BOB What do you expect me to say to this? IKE How about -- "I hope youll be very happy together"? Bob hauls bad punches Ike in the face. Ike drops. BOB I hope youll be very happy together. Bob storms down the aisle and out of the church. MAGGIE (to Peggy) Take care of him. Maggie leaves. CUT TO: EXT. CHURCH - THAT MOMENT Bob is halfway down the walk. Maggie appears at the church door and calls after him. MAGGIE Bob, Im sorry! (half to herself) At least I backed out before the wedding. Thats progress! He keeps marg. Now Peggy appears o Maggie. Maggie calls again. MAGGIE (td) Some woman is going to make you a lot happier than I ..ever could... The words are barely out of her mouth when dy es out the door, rag after Bob at a full sprint. MAGGIE (td) See? PEGGY Well, Maggie -- in the words of Mrs. Pressman: "Holy moly". Call me later. Peggy goes to her car. dy joins her as Bob speeds off in his car. Now Ike takes Peggys plaext to Maggie. Maggie turns to face Ike. They are both beet red, stammering and uo look at each other, trying to aal. MAGGIE Okay. So... what, uh... What just happened? Just now? Jus then? In there? IKE I dont know. I, uh -- I frankly dont even want to talk about it. MAGGIE Me, either. Ike GRABS Maggie and BOOM -- they are all over each other, kissing frantically, tongues, hands, hair, elbow, you . Blathering fools. IKE (blathering) I love you. I love you. MAGGIE ..(blathering) I love you, too. They e up for air. IKE Wait. We have to talk. We have to do some talking now. Pull up a railing. Maggie sits on the railing, then Ike backs up and sits on the opposite railing. IKE (td) You have to go down an aisle and say "I do". You have to get married. MAGGIE To who? Are you asking me? IKE Me? Ike backs up to opposite railing and sits fag Maggie. MAGGIE Yes, you! IKE (thinks) Well, you do have the dress. MAGGIE And the church. IKE And the wedding date. Theres the two of us. (beat) So, you think... maybe... You have to go down the aisle with somebody you love and who love you back. MAGGIE Im okay with that. IKE So am I. MAGGIE So, well... They both nod and sit there smiling, sort of. The anist, Ted, closes the church door. TED Good night. Ike pulls his tape recorder out of his pocket and quietly speaks into it. IKE Im getting married. WIDE SHOT: They smile at each other and remain sitting. Then, silence. CUT TO PART 14 EXT. STREET/HALE/ATLANTIC HOTEL - THAT NIGHT Ike drives up and parks in front of the hotel as he talks on his cell phone. I WITH: INT. FISHER AND ELLIES BEDROOM (NYC) - NIGHT Ellies on the phone. Fisher sits nearby. ELLIE Ikes going to get married. Fisher throws himself onto the carpet and rolls himself helpless with laughter. ELLIE (td) (without turning to him) Fisher, if you pee on that Persian, Ill kill you. CUT TO: INT. BEAUTY SALON - NIGHT DAY Maggie talks to Peggy, dy and Grandma Julia. Grandma Julia sits under a hair dryer. Sprout, the dog, sits in his basket. DY I love his eyes. I just believe theyre listening to you. PEGGY His hair... any color. GRANDMA JULIA I like his tight butt. Peggy laughs. MAGGIE Grandma! PEGGY (to dy) See, this is a mature relationship. Shes really found it. CUT TO: LOVE MONTAGE SHOTS: EXT. O - DAY Ike and Maggie fishing. INT. MAGGIES WORKSHOP/HOME - DAY They play ping-pong. They laugh, enjoying the moment. INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - DAY Ike and Maggie have fun playing cards. The game is slapjack. EXT. FIELD - DAY Maggie and Ike horseback riding. They sit on their horses amo99ｌｉb?ngst trees, "nuzzling". Ike reads as he pushes Maggie in a tire swing. INT. MAGGIES ROOM - DAY Ike and Maggie open and close a Hoberman ball by holding its opposite ends ieeth. Grandma looks in. INT. MAGGIES LIVING ROOM - NIGHT There is a fire in the fireplace. Maggie and Ike sit as Ike shows Maggie some passages from his favorite books. Hes reading something from Yeats at the moment. They seem happy. EXT. CHURCH - THE DAY OF THE WEDDING It is a media circus including FOUR REPORTERS, Midday with Meredith and the T-shirt Vendor. Plus three other people the reporters are interviewing, a GERMAN LADY, BUTCH KENAN, a farmer and Grandma Julia. Reporter DINA NAPOLI walks down the church steps. DINA NAPOLI (OF WBAL) Wedding bells are ringing for the fourth time today in Hale, Maryland. Maggie Carpenter, "Always a Bride -- Never a Bridesmaid", will be attempting to plete her fourth wedding ceremony. Well e ba the air when the results are in. Back to you, Jessica. Meredith, the low-end public access TV reporter, films himself pointing a cheap video camera himself. MEREDITH The turnout for this ms wedding is usually reserved for royalty or Hollywood st?ars, but Maggie Carpenter is Hale, Marylands special star and the citizens of Hale are out in full force today. The NY T-shirt Vendor pitches his wares. T-SHIRT VENDOR I got "Bye-bye Birdie". "art of I do dont you uand?"... Get your "Runaway Bride" T-shirts here... Reporter JULIE MURPHY stands near Grandma Julia and Mrs. Pressman. JULIE MURPHY (el 6) The brides been here for almost an hour, but being around in the beginning was never her problem. Well be here, showing you the full wedding ceremony, we hope. Reporter JACKI and TIFFANY stand at the edge of the CROWD rep. JACKI/REPORTER #3 (WBOC TV16) Will she or wont she? That is on the minds of these several hundreds folks, who are standihis m. Not to mention on the mind of Groom Number #4, ex-USA Today nist, Ike Graham, who is missing in a. EXT. WINDOW OF CHURT. SUNDAY SCHOOL ROOM - DAY I window of church. Peggy peers out the window at the ival se. dy sits with Maggie as she leans forward, doubled over on a childs chair. Peggy moves from the window to sit with them. MAGGIE (moves to window) Hes not ing. Watch. Hes not ing. PEGGY No, no. I saw eight geese flying in a "V". MAGGIE You and your lucky geese. You always see geese. PEGGY ... DY And in a "V". MAGGIE Eight is good... "V" could be Victory. They ad lib various words starting with the letter "V". Maggie is nervous. DY Rub your ears. PEGGY Yes, rubbing your ears is very soothing. Cory does that to me when I hyperventilate. Maggie rubs her ears. DY We do it t. MAGGIE Its hurting. DY Well rub. After they rub Maggies ears a bit: PEGGY Hes here! Hes here! They all squeeze and peer out window. They scream iement. dy rushes to Maggies wedding dress. DY Ill get the dress. MAGGIE Hes here!... Hes here! PEGGY Nows the time for calm... If you dont calm down, you wo your dress on... (reassuringly) Hes the one... Hes the one. Peggy moves to help dy with the dress. Maggie stands alo the window a moment. She picks up a toy horse. MAGGIE This is not a good sign. Maggie goes over to Peggy and dy, and starts to get into her bridal gown. They tio ad lib words standing with the letter "V". DY We have to hurry. The Sunday School kids will be here soon. CUT TO: INT. IKES CAR - DAY Ike pulls up slowly. GUESTS peer through the his car window and wave. Ike rubs his headache. JULIE MURPHY Well, the groom just pulled up. There was talk of a "now show", but he is here. DINA NAPOLI Ike Graham is here! IKESPOV: He moves as he takes it all in: a FAMILY eats a fast food piic on a neighbors lawn, invited GUESTS flock by in their party best, and loEWS TEAMS block the way. The STATE SENATOR is making a speech weling the press to Maryland. A large GROUP of reporters head up the churchs stairs, hauling their equipment. They ehe flood of PEOPLE streaming ihe church. Ike snaps. EXT. IKES CAR - TINUING Ike stops the car where it is and jumps out, slamming the door in ahe REPORTERS swarm around him as he gets out of the car. They tio pound him with questions as he walks to church steps. An OLDER LADY smacks him on the shoulder with a neer. He turns in astonishment and tinues up the steps. He charges up the stairs and grabs Lee. IKE Shoot ours so she has oh an ending. Mrs. Pressman stands, shooting Ike with her video camera. IKE (td) (pleading) Mrs. Pressman, please. MRS. PRESSMAN Its okay. Theres no microphone. Youre no fun. IKE No, Im not. Ike retreats into the church. Lee es up to him again with his video camera: CHUFFA about Scorsese. INT. CHURCH - TINUING As Fisher and>藏书网 Ellie sign the guest book, a LOCAL LADY stares at Ellie. Ellie stares back at her until she leaves. Ike walks away from Lee and turns smato Ellie and Fisher. Ike puts his arms around them and gives them a big hug. IKE Friends. Thank you. Thank you. Over Ellies shoulder, Ike sees Fishers grinning face. IKE (td) We are friends, arent we, Fisher? FISHER (grinning) Of course we are. Of course. IKE Then youll be my best man. FISHER Well, Im good, I dont know if Im best. IKE Go talk to the pastor aell you what to do. And someone will tell me what to do. ELLIE You always looked great in that suit... And Ike? (emotional) Im happy for you, honey. Ellie whispers in his ear. ELLIE (td) Ill have a car around the back to whisk you out of here if she runs. Ellie kisses him on the cheek and walks away. PART 15 ANGLE ON: Bob es up to Ike. He looks like hes going to punch Ike, then abruptly holds out a rose boutonniere. BOB You look awful. IKE (sarcastically) Thank ybbr>９９ｌｉb.ou. Bob hands the flower to Ike. Ike is shaking. Bob catches this and looks up to Ike. It is a moment of hoy between the men. BOB Ike. Need help? He takes the boutonniere and puts it on Ikes lapel. BOB (td) Im glad its you. IKE Really? BOB I didnt want to find out I wasnt for her in the fourth quarter. IKE Got any last minute advice? BOB (motioning to their eyes) Maintain eye tact. Bob turns and leaves, going down a side staircase. IKE (to himself) Eye tact. Eye tact. Out of the er of his eye, Ike sees a pictures of Christ on the wall. He leans into the picture and whispers. IKE (td) Cover me. He walks into the chapel. INT. CHAPEL - TINUING Ike steps up and stands o Fisher. FISHER (to Ike) I have no idea what Im doing. IKE Your job is... the ring. (to Fisher) Do you have the ring?! FISHER I just found out Im best man! Im lucky I have a suit... Whats wrong? Ike gives the ring to Fisher. The Pastor approaches Ike. Ike turns away and look out over the guests. IKESPOV: There are most of the TOWNSPEOPLE weve e to know, plus some NEW YORKERS for Ike, with little ponytails. Armani wire rims, Donna Karan bodysuits. Theres a lot of smirking, cheg out the hicks, f their stories for cocktail hour. Elaine is in back all dressed in black, m Ike. Mrs. Trout approaches Ike. MRS. TROUT You should thank Lou and I for the wedding car -- a 63 Buick. IKE Thank you. MRS. TROUT Oh, e on. Youre practically family. Mrs. Trout starts pig lint off Fishers jacket. FISHER Hello. Im Fisher. MRS. TROUT This doesn..t want to e out. FISHER You just pull a hair from my neck. IKE Mrs. Trout, go back to your seat! INT. CHURCH FOYER - DAY Peggy joins Maggie, who is blowing bubblegum and swaying in front of an oscillating fan. Grandma and Walter e in. Grandma gives her a kiss on the cheek. GRANDMA JULIA Good luck, Maggie. MAGGIE Thank you, Grandma. Grandma leaves. Walter steps up. WALTER (quietly to Maggie) Im really rooting for this one. MAGGIE Thank you, Dad. Peggy turns off the fan. dy takes the bag from Maggie. DY Spit. Maggie spits her bubblegum into the bag. Peggy hands Maggie her bouquet. PEGGY Lets go. MAGGIE No sauntering down the aisle. Just make time. Lets just get there. dy and Peggy nod and leave. The door closes. INT. CHAPEL - TINUING Both extends his hand to Elaine. ELAINE Hi, Im Elaine from New York. BOB Hello. Im Bob, Maggies fourth attempt. ELAINE Im sorry. BOB Thats okay. Theres a lid for every pot. Besides, Im fortable with Ike. I mean, Jack Dempsey lost his heavyweight title to a New Yorker. ELAINE I know. Geunney. The an begins to play. The anist is Ted. Grandma, Walter, Mrs. Pressman and the Trouts watch. Mrs. Trout picks lint off of her husbands jacket. ANGLE ON: dy and Peggy enter with the fident air of people who have dohis before. They make it to the head of the aisle all too quickly. Peggy gives Ike a wink and an encing smile. INT. CHURCH FOYER - TINUING The door opens and Dennis sticks his head in. DENNIS Theyre ready, Maggie. MAGGIE Just a sed. Dennis closes the door behind him as he goes bato the chapel. Maggie has a moment alone. She looks at back door as possible escape route, then ges her mind. She signals the start of the wedding by knog on the door. INT. CHAPEL - TINUOUS Immediately, Cory and Dennis open the doors for her entrance. All the guests stand as Maggie ehe chapel smiling. MAGGIES POV: The aisle stretches before her into infinity. Faces goggle at her from every dire. The tiny figure of Ike stands like a bea a long way off. NEW ANGLE: She plunges forward with a sped-up hesitation step. ANGLE ON: Ike rocks imperceptibly, urging her on. Peggy and dy make little "e on" motions. It seems to be w. Maggie approaches rapidly. The CROWD has turned from skepticism to looks and noises of encement. ANGLE ON: MAGGIE But then her feet gradually begin to slow. ANGLE ON: Fisher gives a little "darn, so close" look. ANGLE ON: But Ike is too busy maintaining eye tact. His eyes urge Maggie closer -- loving her, willing her on. CLOSE ON: Maggie stops her walk, gives Ike a teasing smile, and then resumes with her walk toward him. His face. Her face. His face. Her face. CLOSE ON: Her foot inches forward. The other follows. NEW ANGLE: A sigh now rises from the GUESTS as Maggie closes in on Ike. He smiles at her. She smiles at him. She is almost there... Shes there, smiling at Ike. The Pastestures to the guests to sit down. They do. ANGLE ON: Ike sneezes. She looks down and imagines she sees the carpet splitting apart. And she bolts like a bat out of hell! In a flurry of white, she is halfway down the aisle before Ike knows what hits him. ANGLE ON: Ike stands there dazed. For a sed. Then she springs into a, charging after her. IKE (yelling out) Block the doors! Like a general, he points to Dennis and Cory in the bad sends them into a. The doors shut in Maggies face. But shes a wild animal ered. She moves to the side. The TOWNSPEOPLE stand so Ike hurry through the pew. Ike climbs on the pews towards her as GUEST crowd the aisle, blog his path. Like a gazelle, she leaps to the side aisle and scampers down and away. Fisher gets on his cell phone. Ike charges from one of the full pews, crosses the aisle and leaps across the pews he staircase to cut her off. He grabs her veil and it es off in his hands. Maggie disappears doweps of the church basement. Ike fumble with the veil and jumps over the railing, landing on Dennis toe. He follows dowairs after her. Mrs. Pressman and Walter exge bet money. CUT TO: INT. CHURCH BASEMENT - TINUING Maggie es down steps aers the church childrens Sunday school class. A lot of KIDS And TEACHERS are doing religious arts and crafts. As Maggie runs through: MAGGIE Theres a man ing down those steps with lots of dy in his pockets. If you tickle him, hell give dy. She gives her bouquet to a little GIRL as she goes by. Ike es down stairs. IKE Maggie! The KIDS mob him, grabbing his pockets. Ike fights his way through KIDS. ANGLE ON: Maggie as shes in the church kit and hops on ter and heads out the window. The window is wide enough. ANGLE ON: Ike as he gets to the window, but Maggie is out in driveway. PART 16 EXT. CHURCH DRIVEWAY - TINUING Maggie flies toward a FedEx truck at house just leaving. ANLE: She gathers her dress and jumps in as Ike yells from window, then, quickly climbs out onto the lawn as the truck starts to pull away. IKE Maggie! Maggie looks bace, tearful aful, and disappears ihe truck. The truck races off. The PHOTOGRAPHERS turn their cameras on Ike, en masse. He is enveloped by a barrage ht lights. Ellie and Fisher, who have also stepped outside on chapel front steps, are looking around as Ike turns around the er and past the church. ELLIE Look, hes running after her. FISHER Look, hes iy good shape. ELLIE Poor Ike. They look after the FedEx trud watch Ike chasing the truck down the road away from the church. IKE (running; yells) Maggie! ELLIE Where do you think shes going? FISHER Wherever it is, shell be there by ten- thirty tomorrow. dy, Cory, Peggy and Meredith also rush out of the churd ent on Maggies runaway. Further down the road, Ike still chases the truck, yelling: IKE Maggie! As the truck rounds the bend in the road and disappears, Ike stops and stares aloer the disappearing truck. A swarm of REPORTERS catch up to him, flashing pictures and asking questions. Another camera flashes a to: A NEER PHOTO Of Ikes stunned fa the cover of the USA Today. The caption reads: "Hit and Run: Runaway Bride Strikes again". And we see headlines in other papers. "MAGGIES MAD DASH" "HARDWARE HONEY GOES NUTS AND BOLTS" "JOURNALIST WRITTEN OFF" "BRIDE TAKES HIKE...NOT IKE" "BRIDE TAKE RIDE" "MAGGIE SAYS I DONT" NEER MONTAGE: INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY Kevin, the bartender, reads Jays n, in the USA Today entitled "Maggies Mad Dash". CUT TO: EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY Various neer WORKERS also read Jays n in the USA Today entitled "Maggie Mad Dash" and "Hardware Honey Goes Nuts and Bolts" in another neer. FADE IN EXT. MAIN STREET/HALE - NIGHT (1-5 MONTHS LATER) Its a night like any other in Hale -- the regular order of things has beeored on its quaint streets. Quartet sings in front of the hotel. LEE AND CORY CHUFFA: About where Peggy is. INT. HARDWARE STORE - NIGHT Maggie is sitting, end of a long day. Peggy sticks her head in entrance door. PEGGY You okay? Im closing. MAGGIE Im just finishing up, too. PEGGY Want to go to Butchs for a drink or something? MAGGIE (interrupting) No, Im just going to head home. PEGGY Okay. Peggy starts to go, then moves close to Maggie. PEGGY (td) (stepping closer and making a "V" with her fingers) You know, I was just thinking about that geese thing. I think the "V" was half of a "W". A "W" for... MAGGIE What are you talking about? PEGGY Wedding. Wedding. (holding Maggies face) You just have to get the rest of your ducks in a row. MAGGIE Thank you. You still think that he was.... PEGGY Quick. Very quick. Peggy exits. Maggie stares, losing herself in thought. Then a VOICE startles her. VOICE (whispers) Marry me, Maggie. Maggie jumps and turns to see: DENNIS -- the kid from the high school football team, popping up from a low positiohe ter. MAGGIE (softly) Hi, Dennis. DENNIS I am going to propose, you know. I mean, the right way. Soon as I turn eighteen. MAGGIE Youre sweet, Dennis. But youve got to go. Im closing up. Heres a dy bar and one for your brother. Dennis takes the dy and starts to go. DENNIS Im not giving up. A person shouldnt give up. Dens. Maggie is alone. She turns out the lamp she desighen on again. She turns off the other lamp on the ter as. We hold on Maggies designed lamp. CUT TO: INT. IKES HALLWAY AND APARTMENT - NIGHT Ike walks up to his door, carrying his mail and a bag of carryout. He opens the door and walks into his apartment. He pets Italics, who sits on his sofa bed. Without taking off his coat, he goes to his keyboard and plays music as he CHUFFAS to his cat about marriage and divorce. CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - DAY Dad and Grandma Julia are there. Grandma is making lunch. Walter is juggling es. Theres glass of beer on the kit ter. WALTER Thats Maggie. Home for lunch. GRANDMA JULIA Shes been doing this sihe last wedding. I dont think its good. Maggie walks in and kisses Grandma on the cheek. MAGGIE Hey. Grandma, whats for lunch? GRANDMA JULIA Turkey and cheese. WALTER Honey, yrandmother and I were thinking about opening a wedding gift museum. Walter laughs. MAGGIE STOP! Walter looks at his daughter in surprise. Hes never heard a tone like this in her voice before. WALTER What? MAGGIE (quiet fury) Just stop it. Dont say another word like that. WALTER (putting down the es) Maggie, its just a joke... MAGGIE No. Its my life. WALTER A harmless joke. MAGGIE No, its humiliating and youve been doing it since I was a kid. I dont like it. Stop. You may not like having a daughter with problems. But guess what? I dont like having a father whos drunk all the time. Ill eat in my room. Maggie takes a plate as. GRANDMA JULIA That o be said. You know -- youre always making jokes about her, so they wont make jokes about your drinking. Walter reacts. CUT TO: INT. IKES APARTMENT - DAY Ike goes out on his terrace. He bounces a basketball.. doesnt bounce. He sits oeps of the patio an stares. CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES WORKROOM/GYM - DAY Maggie is kickboxing. CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES WORKROOM/GYM - ANOTHER DAY Maggie is a bit melancholy as she works on her lamps. CUT TO: INT. IKES APARTMENT - ANOTHER DAY Ike quietly sits in bed writing and staring into space thinking. His cat sits on the windowsill. CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES WORKROOM/GYM - NIGHT Maggie jumps rope barefooted late at night. MAGGIE I need a plan... A plan to life... What would Bruce Lee do? Hed kie ass... CUT TO: INT. MAGGIES KIT - DAY Maggie in front of plates full of all sorts of types of eggs -- scrambled, poached, sunny-side up, Be, soft boiled, etc -- sits o ter. She ties them all. EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DAY Establishing shot. Two MEN try to fix the engine of a taxi outside the restaurant. CUT TO: EXT. NEW YORK STREET - DUSK Eke walks by the T-shirt Vendoes into a subway station. EXT. AREET - DUSK Ike crosses a busy st. where a MAN is being arrested. Ike is passing the upscale "Millennium Hardware Store". He gla the window, looks away, stops and looks again. The window display is made up of an assortment of Maggies lamps. Logo "MAG" is on them. He smiles and walks on. EXT. TRAL PARK RESERVOIR - DUSK Ike stares out at water as he walks. EXT. IKES APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT Ike walks along sidewalk, crosses street, enters his building. INT. IKES APARTMENT - NIGHT Ike opens the door to his apartment and flicks on the lights. He crosses to hang his coat in the closet. In the closet mirror, he sees and is stuo find: MAGGIE, sitting on the couch holding Italics, the cat. MAGGIE Hello, Ike. He closes the closet and crosses to his desk. IKE Dont tell me. My doorman is one of your many admires... I knew I should have given him a better Christmas gift. Maggie smiles tenuously. Shes more than a little terrified. MAGGIE Ive been making friends with your cat. (then) Is it okay that Im here? IKE I dont have much choi the matter now, do I? But I t speak for Italics. (to Cat) Traitor! He moves to the kit. MAGGIE I dont blame you for being mad... Ike looks at her. Apparently the word "mad" is an uatement. MAGGIE (td) ... Or... furious. Ike looks at her again. MAGGIE (td) ... Irate? Livid? Hows that? He starts putting cat food in a bowl. The cat leaves Maggies side and starts to east. IKE Livid is good. So what is it, Maggie? You here on business? I saw your lamps. Theyre terrific. MAGGIE Its something Ive always wao do. Ike leaves the kit, turns on the baly lights aers the living room from the baly. IKE You actually could make breaking and entering into a new career. (after opening the glass doors) So, what are you doing here? MAGGIE I wao talk to you about why I run or ride away from things. Ike moves away from her and sits oeps he baly window, listening. PART 17 IKE (after sitting) Does it matter? MAGGIE I think so... When I was walking down the aisle? I was walking toward somebody who didnt have any idea who I really was. And it was only half the other persons fault, because I had done everything to vince him that I was exactly what he wanted. So it was good that I didnt gh with it because it would have been a lie, but you -- you khe real me. IKE Yes, I did. MAGGIE I didnt. And you being the o the end of the aisle didnt just fix that. Ike takes this in. Shes reag him -- but then the defenses go back up. He turns to her. IKE No, I couldnt fix anything... (as he gets up) But I still ended up chasing a truck. Ike moves out to the baly. After a moment, Maggie follows him. EXT. BALY/IKESAPARTMENT - NIGHT The baly overlooks tral Park. The twinkling lights of the city stretch out across the beautiful night. Ike looks out at the view with his baaggie as she speaks. MAGGIE I uand why y up the truck. Let me explain something. The fact is, youve see my worst, most embarrassing, deviously plotting, potentially but not certifiably, psychotic state. And if you liked me then, I mean, now... I t imagine... (crosses to him) Be. Ike has no response. MAGGIE (td) I love eggs Be. I hate all the other kinds. She hesitates. MAGGIE (td) ... I hate big weddings with everybody st藏书网aring. I would like to get married on a weekday while everybody is at work. If I ride off into the su, I want my own horse. IKE Should I be writing this down? She returns to the baly and hands him the box. IKE (td) Whats this? MAGGIE These are for you. He opens it. Its her running shoes. IKE Used? MAGGIE Theyre mine. Im turning in my running shoes to you. IKE This is getting serious. Now she is glowing at him, shining with the full force of her. MAGGIE And one more thing. I know its hard to believe there could be more. Um... Maggie glances around and spots a DECK CHAIR, which she turns so it is fag the city lights. Then she softly says: MAGGIE (td) If you could have a seat, please. Ike sits. Maggie takes the box from him and puts it aide. And thes down on one knee. IKE (laughing) Oh my God. No. Maggie smiles up at him. Ike tips his head bad covers his eyes with his hand. MAGGIE No, no -- dont hide your face, this only happens on a lifetime. Its definitely a first to me, and youre not going to want to miss it. He smiles as he looks at Maggie. MAGGIE (td) I love you, Homer Eisenhraham. Will you marry me? Ike swallows, overwhelmed, overjoyed, and scared shitless. IKE Maggie, I gotta think about this a little bit. Maggie hops cheerfully back to her feet. MAGGIE (cheerful) Good. She gets off her knees and stands. MAGGIE (td) I was hoping youd say that. IKE (laughing) You were not. MAGGIE I was, because if you said "yes&quht away, I wouldo say this part. And Ive been practig it. (pulling up a chair and sitting) Ready? IKE Im listening. MAGGIE (tenderly) "I guarahat well have tough times. I guarahat at some point one or both oof us will want to get out. But I also guarahat if I dont ask you to be mine, Ill regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart -- youre the only one for me". Ike takes her hands affeately. IKE Pretty good speech, Maggie. MAGGIE I borrowed it from this guy I know. So? Ike looks into Maggies shining fad pauses. He gets up and motions with his hand for her to stay seated. He goes inside and turns on some music. The cat is sitting by the radio. He returns to the baly and takes Maggies hand. IKE Dah me. They start to dance a slow dance. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. LARGE GREEN FIELD - DAY We see a hill and on top of it is a Pastor marrying Maggie and Ike, iiful wedding attire. We see Maggie walk down a leaf-lined aisle to a waiting Ike. They kiss as we hear the vows ahem each say "I do". They kiss a twirling, whirling kiss, a circular kiss. We hear the applause of about twenty people. Slowly, we see the twenty people e over the crest of the hill. They are all Maggies family and friends, plus the old grooms. They are all paired in twos, like a love Noahs ark. We see et the news. INT. CHURCH - DAY Priest Brian hears about Maggies wedding. INT. BAKERY - DAY Mrs. Trout hears about Maggies wedding. INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY Gee, Groom #3, hears about Maggies wedding. INT. ELLIES OFFICE OR APARTMENT - DAY Ellie and Fisher hear about Maggies wedding. EXT. FIELD - DAY ANLE: Maggie and Ike finally break the kiss. Ike takes her hand and walks her to two horses. Ike and Maggie, owo horses, ride off happily in their wedding clothes. As the group cheers, Maggie throws bouquet. We see it float in the air. FADE TO BLACK. THE END天涯在线书库《www.tianyabook.com》